Originally posted by J..:
Thanks for your postings, I would just like to clarify a few things. I totally agree with accepting the scary thoughts will happen, they come with having an imagination. I also agree with not giving them any importance, as they are only fleeting thoughts, and that others have them and don't have a second thought. I also agree we should not try and run away from them or block them out.
I think my anxious minds job is to highlight possible dangers. If I am in a heightened state of anxiety sometimes it will produce the scariest things I can think of, even if it involves me. For me I have realised if the thought happens it is because I am caring to others people around me and that it is my mind telling me to be careful. If a thought occurs I focus on the things involved in the scary thought and getting on with the desired task in hand not the silly thought. This seems to have worked for me, it has reduced the occurrences and gives me something to think about if one happens. What I do works for me it helps to minimise any impact my thoughts and stops the scary association being linked with the object or scene, and it brings the focus from my imagination and back to the real world. I just thought I would share this with others.
I would like to add.
I think some of us spend more time in our imagination than others for many reasons we might be day dreamers, obsessive artistic and many other reasons.
The key to minimising these worries is more to do with our imagination and our memory.
Scary thoughts worry people especially the first time they happen, because we then link the dislike ( the imagined thought ) with the situation.
The problem is that the thought is remembered and then reinforced every time we are in the same situation, this can cause a spiral of anxiety and more thoughts.
So what we are trying to do is forget about the thought in other words unlink it or de associate it from the situation.
Some people will let it pass, and after a while it is forgotten about.
Others will make the thought comical to change the memory.
I try to bring the focus of my imagination back to the real world and then after a while I forget about the thought when I revisit the situation
I just thought I would share this with others, I am not saying it is the answer for everyone
How I stopped scary thoughts about hurting others
Hi guys. I would really appreciate an answer re: this topic. Would the same prinipal of accepting the thoughts, etc. apply to unwelcomed, suicidal thoughts. I do NOT want to kill myself AT ALL and that's why these thoughts are so worrisome to me. Any replies would be greatly appreciated. toosarah@aol.com
Selina,
From my own personal experience, I would like to say that suicidal thoughts that are frighting also do come into play. If your brain is using this as a scary "what if" way of thinking. I am personally seeing a psychologist, and I highly recommend seeing one as well as using the program. Suicidal thoughts are very frightening, and you need to use the above advice, as well as seeking professional help. I'm not saying this to scare you in any way. I'm simply saying that from my own personal experience, I think you might want to seek out some extra help. I think the above posts are so very helpful for ANY scary thought that plagues you. Working with a therapyst to work on your way of thinking is the important thing. I know I needed the extra help
. When you spend years and years thinking negativly it's hard to change the pattern. But if you start just focusing on positive things, and working on enjoying not dreading your day, then your thinking will begin to change. I hope this helps! Message me if you need advise!
Stay strong, we all know how you feel!
Bless you,
Emilie
From my own personal experience, I would like to say that suicidal thoughts that are frighting also do come into play. If your brain is using this as a scary "what if" way of thinking. I am personally seeing a psychologist, and I highly recommend seeing one as well as using the program. Suicidal thoughts are very frightening, and you need to use the above advice, as well as seeking professional help. I'm not saying this to scare you in any way. I'm simply saying that from my own personal experience, I think you might want to seek out some extra help. I think the above posts are so very helpful for ANY scary thought that plagues you. Working with a therapyst to work on your way of thinking is the important thing. I know I needed the extra help
. When you spend years and years thinking negativly it's hard to change the pattern. But if you start just focusing on positive things, and working on enjoying not dreading your day, then your thinking will begin to change. I hope this helps! Message me if you need advise!Stay strong, we all know how you feel!
Bless you,
Emilie
Hi Selina
I am not a psychologist and have not tried any therapy, what helped me was talking to friends and I discovered some of them were like minded and I was not alone. However I would have to agree with Emilie, it helps to discuss our anxieties, and good professional help may be useful.I also like what I have read about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy as it teaches how to respond to the anxiety.
What I have written are only my ideas and experiences I might be totally of the mark.
The type of thoughts I am talking about are not urges or fantasies, and they don’t happen all the time, they could be described as fleeting thoughts (like the many we have and then forget about). Only these thoughts catch ones attention (usually because they scare us) and the thought is then not allowed to fleet (or be forgotten about).
I think there is a tie in with the imagination, with obsessive thinking (which I think is all about trying to solve problems), and with anxiety.
For me the pattern seemed to go like this.
I would be in a situation and in an anxious state of mind (not that I am always aware of this state, just as I might not realise I am in a bad mood), either through stress or hangover or tired or just not comfortable with the situation. A strange anxious thought would spring into my mind.
The first time this happens it is really quite frightening.
I would ask myself why I had such a thought. The fleeting thought was now caught, it had caught my attention. I would then obsess about it looking for a solution to my problem (am I mad? What if I do something? etc), this required me to spend more time in my already anxious imagination. Then because I was giving it so much attention I would remember it and then it gets attached to the situation. Trying to block the thought gives it the same type of attention.
For me the answer was this.
The thought it is more about my state of mind than the thought. It is how we handle the thought. That my anxious state of mind will try and produce scary thoughts and what scare me would be different to what scares you, just as a happy state of mind makes me laugh about things. So I just accept the thought shows that I may be anxious, or sensative to the situation .
I then try not to obsess about it, I try and get out of my imagination and back to real world tasks, however some people prefer to stay with the imagination and make the thought silly. Others just let it pass.
The goal is the same to let the thought fleet again and be forgotten.It takes time to forget the thoughts but it is much quicker the less attention you give them.
This is not professional advice only what has worked for me, and your situation may be different.
However it seems from reading the posts that although the fears differ the impact of the thoughts seems to be the same and therefore the method for dealing with them could be similar.
If I had to sum it up i would say
<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>The scary thought shows what I don't want to happen, it is my anxious imagination producing scary scenarios.For example .When my anxiety is justified I might say something like " that will fall off there unless it is moved". This requires me to picture the thing falling of,the picture in my mind is what I don't want to happen.
<LI>We can be sensitive to situations and this can stimulate our imagination.
<LI>The less effort spent on the thought the better.
How we achieve this will differ.Don't try to block a thought this requires us to think about the scary thought we are trying to block. For the same reason when we first start facing the fears the scary thought reappears this is because we are scared of it happening so we think of the thought we are scared of, this lessens as our fear of them lessens.
<LI>Some of us tend to obsess about things to solve problems. This is pointless with a silly thoughts it just helps a fleeting thought stay around longer, increasing the impact.It also requires us to spend more time in our imagination
<LI>Obsessing causes us to focus at the cost of everything else. It is like walking around with binoculars on, it might help focus on the odd thing in the distance but you would soon lose perspective and balance.</UL>
I have had these thoughts on and off for over 20 years and they do not affect my life or those around me.
A thought in itself has no power, however it can have an impact causing doubt and anxiety and more thoughts, but as we learn to let them pass the impact disappears as does their occurrence.
While reading a post on this site I was pointed to an interesting article. It seems to be directed at people with OCD (I don't know if I would qualify) and it may help answer your question.
The article is called Thinking the Unthinkable
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php
I am not a psychologist and have not tried any therapy, what helped me was talking to friends and I discovered some of them were like minded and I was not alone. However I would have to agree with Emilie, it helps to discuss our anxieties, and good professional help may be useful.I also like what I have read about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy as it teaches how to respond to the anxiety.
What I have written are only my ideas and experiences I might be totally of the mark.
The type of thoughts I am talking about are not urges or fantasies, and they don’t happen all the time, they could be described as fleeting thoughts (like the many we have and then forget about). Only these thoughts catch ones attention (usually because they scare us) and the thought is then not allowed to fleet (or be forgotten about).
I think there is a tie in with the imagination, with obsessive thinking (which I think is all about trying to solve problems), and with anxiety.
For me the pattern seemed to go like this.
I would be in a situation and in an anxious state of mind (not that I am always aware of this state, just as I might not realise I am in a bad mood), either through stress or hangover or tired or just not comfortable with the situation. A strange anxious thought would spring into my mind.
The first time this happens it is really quite frightening.
I would ask myself why I had such a thought. The fleeting thought was now caught, it had caught my attention. I would then obsess about it looking for a solution to my problem (am I mad? What if I do something? etc), this required me to spend more time in my already anxious imagination. Then because I was giving it so much attention I would remember it and then it gets attached to the situation. Trying to block the thought gives it the same type of attention.
For me the answer was this.
The thought it is more about my state of mind than the thought. It is how we handle the thought. That my anxious state of mind will try and produce scary thoughts and what scare me would be different to what scares you, just as a happy state of mind makes me laugh about things. So I just accept the thought shows that I may be anxious, or sensative to the situation .
I then try not to obsess about it, I try and get out of my imagination and back to real world tasks, however some people prefer to stay with the imagination and make the thought silly. Others just let it pass.
The goal is the same to let the thought fleet again and be forgotten.It takes time to forget the thoughts but it is much quicker the less attention you give them.
This is not professional advice only what has worked for me, and your situation may be different.
However it seems from reading the posts that although the fears differ the impact of the thoughts seems to be the same and therefore the method for dealing with them could be similar.
If I had to sum it up i would say
<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI>The scary thought shows what I don't want to happen, it is my anxious imagination producing scary scenarios.For example .When my anxiety is justified I might say something like " that will fall off there unless it is moved". This requires me to picture the thing falling of,the picture in my mind is what I don't want to happen.
<LI>We can be sensitive to situations and this can stimulate our imagination.
<LI>The less effort spent on the thought the better.
How we achieve this will differ.Don't try to block a thought this requires us to think about the scary thought we are trying to block. For the same reason when we first start facing the fears the scary thought reappears this is because we are scared of it happening so we think of the thought we are scared of, this lessens as our fear of them lessens.
<LI>Some of us tend to obsess about things to solve problems. This is pointless with a silly thoughts it just helps a fleeting thought stay around longer, increasing the impact.It also requires us to spend more time in our imagination
<LI>Obsessing causes us to focus at the cost of everything else. It is like walking around with binoculars on, it might help focus on the odd thing in the distance but you would soon lose perspective and balance.</UL>
I have had these thoughts on and off for over 20 years and they do not affect my life or those around me.
A thought in itself has no power, however it can have an impact causing doubt and anxiety and more thoughts, but as we learn to let them pass the impact disappears as does their occurrence.
While reading a post on this site I was pointed to an interesting article. It seems to be directed at people with OCD (I don't know if I would qualify) and it may help answer your question.
The article is called Thinking the Unthinkable
http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson1.php
Last edited by J.. on Fri May 01, 2009 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.