Stress Center Peer Support

I dont know when or why it started, but yesterday was complete hell for me, Im trying not to focus on the negative but I just want somebody to relate and tell me things will be fine. I was very stressed last night, mainly over my niece and my sister, I feel like my sister always uses me and she actually finds joy in me being stressed out. its hard for me to say no because she will start nagging which will make it even worse, so I gave in. I was feeling so horrible that I just thought I should kill myself, I was hysterical around 7 o clock last night, I drove myself to the town park having a panic attack---My face was going numb and I was praying to God to let me die, I go to the park and just layed down in the seat for a while, then I got back up, something gave me courage to keep going. I was scared when I looked around the park cuz I was wondering how I got there, (I thought I was going crazy and caught amnesia), I came back home and talked to my parents about it, They want me to get help right away. But I still feel anxious and thinking Im going crazy. I always question my behavior to see if its abnormal, I cant even laugh without feeling worried about mental health. I also suffer from depersonalization and that just adds to my fear 100%. I dont know what to do anymore. If anybody has anything they would like to share with me, any words of encouragment..or stories that relate to mine, I would so appreciate it right now. I really thought I was going to kill myself tommorow..and part of me was comforted by that fact. But im here and happy that I didnt do anything...I was just so stressed out and didnt know what to do...I had nowhere to turn.

On these boards, you are NEVER alone. My panic and axiety started in my teens.........I am now 38!!! I already see it in my 10 yr old son. It makes me sad. A psychaiatrist told me a while back that as long as you question your normalcy, and wierd feelings, you are okay. Because true "crazy" people have absolutely no idea they are the way they are. As for killing yourself, that would solve what? Imagine the pain it would cause your parents, and also imagine after you get a handle on this what you have to offer the world. You will have been there and done that, and some day will be able to guide someone through it. I'm not going to tell you there is a quick fix. There's not, but there is a fix. You learn to LIVE with it, not DIE from it. Know that 20 yrs ago I could have written your post!!! My face would go numb, my hands would go numb, and I would actually pray that if this was going to kill me, to do it quickly. But it didn't. I still have anxiety, take meds, with me it comes and goes like the wind. I may go 2 or 3 yrs without it, then WHAM!!!! Smack in the face. The depersonalization is a mini vacation your mind takes to "float" you through a situation when you are heightened with anxiety. It sort of numbs itself to your surroundings so that nothing can push you any further. I know people who feel this that don't even consider themselves as having issues with anxiety and depression. They just think its normal, because in a sense it is. Please stay with the boards. There are a lot of people on here that are very supportive. Get some help. I recommend a Psychiatrist, not phychology, not general practice family doc, a true Psych doc for your first few treatments. Its WHAT they do, and they are experts. Know you are never alone, and feel free to PM me any time. You are who you are for a reason, and it may take years down the road to reveal itself, but BE THERE when it does. You will never look back and regret staying alive!!!!

hi
i was suffering from depression, anxiety and panik attacks for a long time and i started with lexapro to help control my anxiety. it is a great medication that helped me with my initial steps to overcome anxiety and depression. i took it for 3 years and now i am not in medication.
my recomendation to you and to everyone suffering from anxiety and depression is to focus on small small things that makes u happy, do it more often and get surrounded by people who loves you or atleast be in touch with them more often. being honest about the problem you have with people who u think cares about you is the best way to help yourself. u can practice doing it when u are in medication and once u feel more comfortable i guess u would be able to do without it too. i was always scared that people would hate me or look down on me if they knew i had the problem with anxiety but honestly i was so wrong. i say that because i spent my whole time trying to impress people who didnt care about me and thats what made my anxiety worse because i wasnt happy doing it. now i stop doing that, i avoid people with whom i have problems and try to do things for people who care about me. its my opinion and i thought i should share with you guys. i believe this might be help to someone.
honesty is the best policy. u cant hide your anxiety and if u try to do it, it gets even worse.
i think i was born that way as lady gaga says and i wanna be happy the way i am but not fight against it.