Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 7:03 pm
well, i'm in this slump right now. i have been doing really good these past couple of months. which i didn't think i would have. i have been just living my life to the fullest not really having any scary thoughts in awhile. i had a beautiful baby girl two months ago. during the ending of my pregnancy is when i was struck with these obsessive thoughts of hurting myself and my children, but with a lot of work i had them under control. my life has truly been a blessing. then yesterday i realized the thoughts weren't there. i felt like something was missing and it was anxiety. instead of being happy about that i found myself reliving those same thoughts that would drive me crazy. i started thinking that this was it was for sure going crazy and that this time i was actually gonna end up act on these thoughts. i tries to convince myself that everyone was wrong even my therapist was wrong with my diagnosis and that i was truly crazy. i really freaked myself out. i get so frustrated with myself. i feel like i am am trying to bring these thoughts on. i wish i would just stop. anyone have a suggestions on how to help me stop trying to bring them on stop trying to test myself. God has blessed me so much and i just want to live my life like He intended me to. i want my freedom, i want to enjoy every moment of my life, not let this monster anxiety to get in my way. the thing is i know it is jsut anxiety, but why did i let it bother me so bad? HELP!