Aha! moment for me

KDlady · Post by **KDlady** » Sat May 02, 2009 3:11 am

I posted this in Session 12, but it also applies to Session 10's lesson so I wanted to share:
It's taken me 2 years to see what I've been getting out of my anxiety, but I realized it last week. CONTROL; or the illusion of control. If I worry about and focus on something uncomfortable then there's the illusion of control for me. If I hold onto it I don't risk the vulnerability of the present moment. If I "let go" then those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings could come rushing in at any moment and ruin it, so I haven't let it because I've been distracting myself with the discomfort. It's a mix of Session 10 & 12 with the distracting and getting something out of it...

This recovery comes in layers for some of us...mine has been peeling back and now we're getting to the good stuff (and the hardest stuff, too!) Don't get discouraged if it's taking longer than you'd like or if those peaks and valleys are challenging.
EVERYTHING happens for a reason and in the right season.

teasha · Post by **teasha** » Mon May 11, 2009 6:15 am

I just want to tell you i completely understand what u just wrote! I find that i remind myself of my negative thoughts especially when i realize i am happy and NOT thinking of this crap! I will not let myself just relax and be happy and i think it's a vicious cycle. I hope to some day just allow myself to be happy with out realizing it and sabatoging it! Thanks for ur post!

annalyzer26 · Post by **annalyzer26** » Mon May 18, 2009 3:54 am

Wow, thats a big realiztion! I totally understand every word you said also. Thank you so much for sharing