I am really struggling with obsessive, scary thoughts right now and I know this is an area that a lot of us probably really feel ashamed of. I know people share here all the time and it helps reading past threads, but if someone could just help me to feel not so crazy, it would be helpful. When I went through this a few years back, my husband was very helpful in general, but I am reluctant to tell him too much about my scary thoughts because I think it does freak him out a little. I know I would feel a little weird if someone told me they were worried they were going to hurt me.
I have the typical thoughts - hurting others, hurting myself. Worrying that I'm going to go crazy or lose it. Why do I feel like I'm going to be the one person who actually does wind up acting on their scary thoughts? Does anyone else feel this way? I have the thoughts and then I worry about why I'm having them and I worry that maybe somewhere deep down I do want to do these things. I also worry that some day I will just be so tired of having them that I will act on them. But as I sit here writing this, I can completely say that I absolutely do not want to act on them. But I worry that I do. Otherwise why am I having them. Does anyone else worry about this specifically?
Also, I remember from doing the program a few years ago that someone said we have thoughts about hurting loved ones because that scares us more. And I wonder why do I have thoughts about hurting my husband or my cat, but then I don't have thoughts about hurting people I can't stand like my boss or something?
Another thing that I worry about is, if having these thoughts is some kind of OCD and people with OCD act on their compulsions to relieve their anxiety, then how come we can say that these are just thoughts that we will never act on? I'm sure people with OCD don't want to wash their hands 50 times a day or keep going back to check if the stove is on, but they do it anyway. So what is the relief for pure obsessors who have these scary thoughts? Obviously, we are not going to carry them out, so what do we do?
Obviously, I'm worrying about a lot of things having to do with this. Is there anyone out there who thinks along these lines? Thank you.
Need Encourgement About Scary Thoughts
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Guest
Hi,
you are questioning them too much, giving them power to get stronger, don�t do this, do not overanalyze them, they are only thoughts meaning to scare you, don�t give into them, they mean nothing, have no logical reason, they just mean to scare you, use your tools in the program, OCD is just another label, the actions to take are the same, don�t give them any power and tell yourself the truth.
Hang in and god bless, we�re all in this!
Marco
you are questioning them too much, giving them power to get stronger, don�t do this, do not overanalyze them, they are only thoughts meaning to scare you, don�t give into them, they mean nothing, have no logical reason, they just mean to scare you, use your tools in the program, OCD is just another label, the actions to take are the same, don�t give them any power and tell yourself the truth.
Hang in and god bless, we�re all in this!
Marco
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Guest
Dear Daisy 123,
I have had all the same thoughts you are having and insignificized/eliminated these thoughts. First things first. The fact that these thoughts initially made you anxious is pure evidence that you are a sane, rational, sensitive, good person. Individuals who act on these thoughts find comfort in them and are certainly not reaching out for help on this forum. Secondly, why do we get these thoughts? Every human has variations of fear and thoughts like these breeze in and out of ones head. However, we were born very sensitive and analytical. Not necessarliy a bad thing. However, when used in a counter-productive manner we "think" ourselves into this condition. We see a disturbing news cast or have an obscure thought of hurting self or loved ones and follow up with a slew of false statements/questions such as "Am I capable of this ? What if I carry out this thought? Am I pathological be cause I have these thoughts? We thus leave ourself in a circle of anxiety much like a dog chasing his tail. As per OCD. Every human has obsessions and compulsions. When these obsessions and compulsions affect the quality of our life is when we reach out for help. Some therapists would diagnose you as
OCD..some would not...OCD is merely a label. In the end we only talking about scary thoughts. Every human has scary thoughts but we just got into a bad habit of giving these thoughts way to much "air time and power". As per your question "What is the relief for obsesors who have these scary thoughts?" The answer is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Through this program, a good cognitive behavioral therapist, and hard work and sustained effort on your part, recovery is for the taking. The belief in an irrational/scary thought is the source of your anxiety. Right now you are second guessing yourself and following up scary thoughts with irrational "what if's", leaving you in an anxious state. Our goal is to bombard your brain with pure, rich, accurate data, thus challenging any irrational thought with the truth. Through consistent hard work and sustained effort it's not a question of if you recover..it is a question of when..For now practice writing the truth..their is magic in writing..Challenge these thoughts on paper..You are a good, sensitive, sane, rational, person. You just created and reinforced a bad habit. Through this program you will acquire and reinforce good habits thus leaving you free from debilitating fear and anxiety. You however, must be dedicated, patient and willing to put forth the time and effort. God Bless and e-mail me if your looking for an awesome Cognitive Behavioral Therapist or for guidance..God BLess you on your road to full recovery.
I have had all the same thoughts you are having and insignificized/eliminated these thoughts. First things first. The fact that these thoughts initially made you anxious is pure evidence that you are a sane, rational, sensitive, good person. Individuals who act on these thoughts find comfort in them and are certainly not reaching out for help on this forum. Secondly, why do we get these thoughts? Every human has variations of fear and thoughts like these breeze in and out of ones head. However, we were born very sensitive and analytical. Not necessarliy a bad thing. However, when used in a counter-productive manner we "think" ourselves into this condition. We see a disturbing news cast or have an obscure thought of hurting self or loved ones and follow up with a slew of false statements/questions such as "Am I capable of this ? What if I carry out this thought? Am I pathological be cause I have these thoughts? We thus leave ourself in a circle of anxiety much like a dog chasing his tail. As per OCD. Every human has obsessions and compulsions. When these obsessions and compulsions affect the quality of our life is when we reach out for help. Some therapists would diagnose you as
OCD..some would not...OCD is merely a label. In the end we only talking about scary thoughts. Every human has scary thoughts but we just got into a bad habit of giving these thoughts way to much "air time and power". As per your question "What is the relief for obsesors who have these scary thoughts?" The answer is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Through this program, a good cognitive behavioral therapist, and hard work and sustained effort on your part, recovery is for the taking. The belief in an irrational/scary thought is the source of your anxiety. Right now you are second guessing yourself and following up scary thoughts with irrational "what if's", leaving you in an anxious state. Our goal is to bombard your brain with pure, rich, accurate data, thus challenging any irrational thought with the truth. Through consistent hard work and sustained effort it's not a question of if you recover..it is a question of when..For now practice writing the truth..their is magic in writing..Challenge these thoughts on paper..You are a good, sensitive, sane, rational, person. You just created and reinforced a bad habit. Through this program you will acquire and reinforce good habits thus leaving you free from debilitating fear and anxiety. You however, must be dedicated, patient and willing to put forth the time and effort. God Bless and e-mail me if your looking for an awesome Cognitive Behavioral Therapist or for guidance..God BLess you on your road to full recovery.
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Guest
Hi i also have this problem i know im a good person and i would never do anything to hurt anyone i just feel like im goin crazy. I wonder if i dont want this stuff to happen why am i thinkin about it.I try all the time to be positive and think happy thought sometimes it works soometimes it dont.I havent bought the program i dont have the money. But your not the only one that feels this way. take care Mary Jo
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Guest
I just wanted to say THANK YOU to those who responded and briefly reply to each of you.
Marco - thank you for reminding me of what I should be telling myself. I appreciate your encouragement.
Michael - you are right - sometimes I can really get in a vicious cycle. I actually wish I could find a good therapist in my area. I have been in therapy on and off many times. But in the area I'm currently living in (outside of NYC) it's very hard to find a good one. When I had this 3 years ago, the first woman I saw thought I was I was nuts when I told her about my scary thoughts. The second one would take phone calls and let people interuppt our sessions all the time. The third guy also never heard of depersonalization or could grasp at all what it was. He also looked at me like I was crazy when I told him about my scary thoughts. All he ever wanted to talk about was sexual stuff and then several times he missed my appointments (and this was at one of the top psychiatric practices in the area), and the last guy I saw literally fell asleep during one of my sessions. So although I really believe in cognitive behavioral therapy and am completely willing to do it, I hope you can see my frustration in dealing with these people. It just gets tiring. Another problem is that even though I work full time for a large corporation and have great health benefits, my benefits don't really cover "behavioral health" issues and I have a hard time paying the $150-$200 hour sessions that it costs around here. For now I am just going to try to go through the program again and also read some books that people on this site have recommended. If it doesn't get better, then I guess I will try to seek someone out again. Thanks again for your encouraging reply.
Mary Jo - I had a problem paying for the program as well and they worked out a lower cost for me and worked with me on the payments. You may want to try calling them and asking them. Thank you also for helping me not to feel so alone. I am really trying some positive self-talk and I think it does help. One thing I have told myself recently is that I never had these thoughts when I was OK for the last three years, so if I really wanted to do these things, why would I have stopped thinking about them when I felt better. Now I'm having them and I'm not feeling well. So, of course they are related. Bottom line - it is just anxiety. Yes, a pain in the neck to have these thoughts, but it is just a symptom of anxiety. Just remember that and take care!
Marco - thank you for reminding me of what I should be telling myself. I appreciate your encouragement.
Michael - you are right - sometimes I can really get in a vicious cycle. I actually wish I could find a good therapist in my area. I have been in therapy on and off many times. But in the area I'm currently living in (outside of NYC) it's very hard to find a good one. When I had this 3 years ago, the first woman I saw thought I was I was nuts when I told her about my scary thoughts. The second one would take phone calls and let people interuppt our sessions all the time. The third guy also never heard of depersonalization or could grasp at all what it was. He also looked at me like I was crazy when I told him about my scary thoughts. All he ever wanted to talk about was sexual stuff and then several times he missed my appointments (and this was at one of the top psychiatric practices in the area), and the last guy I saw literally fell asleep during one of my sessions. So although I really believe in cognitive behavioral therapy and am completely willing to do it, I hope you can see my frustration in dealing with these people. It just gets tiring. Another problem is that even though I work full time for a large corporation and have great health benefits, my benefits don't really cover "behavioral health" issues and I have a hard time paying the $150-$200 hour sessions that it costs around here. For now I am just going to try to go through the program again and also read some books that people on this site have recommended. If it doesn't get better, then I guess I will try to seek someone out again. Thanks again for your encouraging reply.
Mary Jo - I had a problem paying for the program as well and they worked out a lower cost for me and worked with me on the payments. You may want to try calling them and asking them. Thank you also for helping me not to feel so alone. I am really trying some positive self-talk and I think it does help. One thing I have told myself recently is that I never had these thoughts when I was OK for the last three years, so if I really wanted to do these things, why would I have stopped thinking about them when I felt better. Now I'm having them and I'm not feeling well. So, of course they are related. Bottom line - it is just anxiety. Yes, a pain in the neck to have these thoughts, but it is just a symptom of anxiety. Just remember that and take care!
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Guest
hello daisy-
i have the same thing it happens mostly when i am at home alone with my kids..i ended up in the hospital because of them because this was all new to me . now when i get them they still bother me a little but i learned how to deal with them.
because i know i wont act on them and that it is just a thought. i have only been in the program now for 5 weeks but i am still on tape 3 because i dont feel i am ready to go to the next step but i know we are not suppose to skip tapes but i find it helpful to go to lesson 10 when i get these thoughts.. you will be fine and dont let it get you down!!.
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tell yourself that these are just thoughts and they will go away.. we can only think one thing at a time and when you get one change it right away.. i know it is hard but you can do it!!!.
i have the same thing it happens mostly when i am at home alone with my kids..i ended up in the hospital because of them because this was all new to me . now when i get them they still bother me a little but i learned how to deal with them.
because i know i wont act on them and that it is just a thought. i have only been in the program now for 5 weeks but i am still on tape 3 because i dont feel i am ready to go to the next step but i know we are not suppose to skip tapes but i find it helpful to go to lesson 10 when i get these thoughts.. you will be fine and dont let it get you down!!.
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tell yourself that these are just thoughts and they will go away.. we can only think one thing at a time and when you get one change it right away.. i know it is hard but you can do it!!!.
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Guest
Ok guys here is the digs on scary thoughts.. they are nothing. I know you are scared of them but trust me they are nothing. people get scary thoughts like " What IF.. I'm dieing and they start obsessing about it to the point where they see th egrave and eulagy and people crying. that scares them bigtime so they wing up worrying about that thought and building on it. finally thay say wow how can i cet this out of my mind and now they are stuck thinking about the thought and how they can ge them out of thieir mind. Soome people for example may no tbe sleeping well and wind up feeling really tired and drained followed by a feeling of depressed feelings. wich is actually a symptom of sleep deprivation. so they become thought filled with " oh why do I feel depressed .. whats wrong with me.. am I going into a depressiom? oh I had a friend that was depressed and he killed his self oh " what if that happens to me" that person will think and start to build on . so then they start obsessing over if they are depressed and start asking them selves what if questions which leads to anxious feelings. they start saying what if they would do something to hurt them selves like the person who was depressed. so they start fearing that thought and it become a stuck obsessed thought that they fear . so its actually you that is causing your self to think that way by ' WHat If thinking"
KEY: allow your self to feel those thoughts what ever it may be. No you arent going to hurt your self, you arent crazy , you are as normal as anyone else you just waste too much time worrying abou these things. so allow the thouoghts to come .. invite them like a friend coming over for tea and crumpets. see when you reduce the importance of the thought such as inviting it for " tea and Crumpets
' it becomes a bit comical and the value and strength deminishes. its that simple. negative thoughts have no power in your life only posative ones do. so when you feel your selves obsessing over a thought. tell yourself hey there is my old friend .. you arent afraid of an old friend right. and invite that old friend to tea and crupmets lol see how funny that is and after a while a short time you will see that thought has no meaning to you it comes and goes like the wind. nothing toi harm you. also sometimes strong scary thoughts are a way of your mind distracting you from what is really bothering you . often we dont really want to deal wit things so our mind distract us from those things with a strong distraction ... like a scary thought of what If you are going crazy , or wwhat if you hurt your self or some one. either try to figure out what occured in your life that week .. day. month, and if you cant its cool. invite your friend for lol tea and crumpets. and you will see and gfeel the difference.
KEY: allow your self to feel those thoughts what ever it may be. No you arent going to hurt your self, you arent crazy , you are as normal as anyone else you just waste too much time worrying abou these things. so allow the thouoghts to come .. invite them like a friend coming over for tea and crumpets. see when you reduce the importance of the thought such as inviting it for " tea and Crumpets
' it becomes a bit comical and the value and strength deminishes. its that simple. negative thoughts have no power in your life only posative ones do. so when you feel your selves obsessing over a thought. tell yourself hey there is my old friend .. you arent afraid of an old friend right. and invite that old friend to tea and crupmets lol see how funny that is and after a while a short time you will see that thought has no meaning to you it comes and goes like the wind. nothing toi harm you. also sometimes strong scary thoughts are a way of your mind distracting you from what is really bothering you . often we dont really want to deal wit things so our mind distract us from those things with a strong distraction ... like a scary thought of what If you are going crazy , or wwhat if you hurt your self or some one. either try to figure out what occured in your life that week .. day. month, and if you cant its cool. invite your friend for lol tea and crumpets. and you will see and gfeel the difference.
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Guest
Hi Daisy,
Here is a thread from the OCD thread loaded with good info on scary thoughts and links for finding a therapist.
http://bbs.stresscenter.com/ev...2105472/m/4691056423
Hope it helps. [[[hugs]]]
Here is a thread from the OCD thread loaded with good info on scary thoughts and links for finding a therapist.
http://bbs.stresscenter.com/ev...2105472/m/4691056423
Hope it helps. [[[hugs]]]
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baileybandit
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 11:09 pm
Re: Need Encourgement About Scary Thoughts
Is this Daisy still out there or anyone who replied to this post! This is exactly to a T what I'm going through! I was wondering since this was back in 2004, what Daisy or the others did to recover!
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Annagyijjk
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:04 am
Re: Need Encourgement About Scary Thoughts
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