Empowering Group Program Run-through part10

[Ninjafrodo2]

ForeverYoung;
You're welcome

Alright

I am dragging, I might not be moving to fast but I am moving forward

When I see this statement what comes to me is that you are judging yourself for not moving more than you are....so this to me now becomes a should. This is what I am hearing now from that statment.
->I am dragging and I should be moving faster (either faster or more) but I am moving forward.

So this falls under the Should category of cognitive distortions and is this something you want to do or do you feel you should because the program suggests it? The answer to this question is important because it will help me to decide what needs to be added to the replacement.

I don't seem to be doing the best, I am trying at least it is not going to happen over night

Again what I see is another should because you are judging your progress. This is the new statement I get

I'm not doing the best and I should be doing better

Your replacement is definately a step in the right direction...I'd like to start it off as the new replacement.

I am trying at least and I don't need to be doing the best in order to move forward, I just need to keep moving forward, this isn't going to happen overnight but as long as I try it will happen.

I need more work, I am not where I want to be but with work I can get there

This sounds to me like you actually want to do more than you are and you aren't satisfied with the amount that you are doing. Is this true?



Mike

[THH]

I have had many challenges these last few days. I'm doing alright with all of them. Everyone I speak with is fed up with the weather and feeling very angry & negative. I feel exhausted myself as I am trying to work my thoughts and keep myself up in spite of the conversations I have been hearing. I can feel like them in a heart beat. I am choosing to be grateful for all the blessings in my life including the weather. Still working on looking for the good.

The video you posted Mike was very awesome. I can only imagine how he must have been feeling. I was amazed he pulled it off and it was so good that he did because he really does have a lovely gift to give. I'm sure this would be true with each of us, we all have special gifts we have been given. This is why we must over come our bad thinking because we will never get to try anything wild and fun if we are always wanting to control the outcomes, or fear of trying. Great post.

LOL... on your replacement for my fears. They are good ones. I used a trick you said about drawing my fears. This is hard for me to write my thoughts but I will give it a try. Lets say I am afraid of the cold weather. I say to myself draw a picture of the cold that you are fearing. When I think of a picture to draw I can't come up with anything. ( that I am really fearing ) Then my mind says it is your thoughts of the cold weather that you fear. The anticipation of what could happen! So for me it is not the thoughts of fearing rather the anticipation of something bad. It reminds me back to Ken in the tapes, thoughts only thoughts. If I start looking for something else to think about rather than dwelling on anticipation of negative, life gets better. When I realize it was my thoughts my anxiety dilutes away. I am not really afraid of the cold, it is the thoughts that are not real that I can imagine what could happen that can cause me anxiety.It is like OH? It sounds so simple. And it is if your paying attention to what you are thinking about.

If I fear the dentist, I am not really afraid of this man. I really like him. It is the anticipation that he is going to tell me something bad. Not just bad - horrible! For me it is getting handed the worst sentence. ( What ever that is ) I can imagine many things and get myself in a full rush of adrenalin. At that time it really does not matter what he says because I am flying way to high. So I am connecting to so much of this I do think I will make a bigger difference in my life. The challenge is to keep going. Feel the fear, after examining what the fear is. Much of the time for me it gets diffused after I identify what is the real fear. Really most of the fears are only thoughts. Thoughts can be changed and that can be the end of it.

[THH]

Forever Young,
What I posted could be your fear of the elevator too. Do you really fear the elevator or the anticipation of what could happen while in the elevator? I don't like the elevator. I don't like being close to people crammed in there, or being the only one in there. Thinking what if the power goes off? Again if I really think about it and break it down, I do not fear the elevator. I still feel strong enough to take the stairs and do most of the time. Up to 3 floors. Riding the elevator is really not that scary. Its for me is the thoughts what if????
Just my thoughts...

[forever young 06]

THH you got me to a T on the elevator. I am afraid of getting stuck in there. oh worse case. It will stop working and I will be stuck and they will never find. good job on your thoughts too. I get worried when it starts snowing and real bad. Oh what if someone gets sick and needs to get to the hospital? I hate what ifs. I set here Sat while it snowed and actually felt good because I didn't have to go out.

Mike you got me too. I feel like I am not working hard enough. I want to face but not being able to. I want to at least tackle one drawer or one cabinet in my kitchen. I will attack the pile of paper work on my desk later.

[Ninjafrodo2]

THH;
I don't mean to be rude but I will respond to your post tomorrow, I just wanted to quickly answer Forever's post and then get off the forums because i've been on the computer way too much today.

ForeverYoung;
Ok well as for the tacking of at least 1 drawer or cabinet, there are always the options of breaking it down further and just taking everything out, putting it in a pile and sorting out a couple of things and putting the couple of things neatly in the drawer and coming back and doing another couple of things but this I don't feel is the root of the issue although it can help to lessen what is going on.

So if you are so afraid that you don't feel you can do this then what really has to happen is looking at what you are telling yourself that is making you feel so afraid. So what is going on? What is it that you are afraid is going to happen if you do organize 1 cabinet or 1 drawer?


Mike

[forever young 06]

mike I think I feel over come. I feel there is too much to do. maybe I am afraid I will throw something away I shouldn't. I don't know.

[Ninjafrodo2]

Alright so if you are feeling overwhelmed than you're likely looking at everything that you have to do as if you have to do it all at once....If you had all the food you had to eat for the rest of your life in front of you, you'd also feel very overwhelmed but i'm assuming you don't (although that could look funny if you did) and because you only have what you'd eat in one meal in front of you while you are eating, it would be doable...would you agree with that?

As for the fear of throwing something away that you shouldn't....what is the worst thing that would happen if you did throw away a specific object? (pick one).

[forever young 06]

once you throw it away there is no way of getting it back. If you can replace it you can if not you can't but I guess the world would not end though.

[Ninjafrodo2]

Would it be easier to put things in a pile that you could replace if you had to and one you couldn't and then just work on the first pile?

[bradley1960]

Mike, awesome facebook post. Due to power outage at Christmas time, snowed in around new years and my wife spinning out and crashing into a snow bank the plows made( thankful she was not injured) we have gotten behind financially. Therefore I found myself working extra hours to catch up on bills and once again catch up on your empowering the group posts. If you are comfortable with the idea I would enjoy being a facebbok friend and reading your insights there too. If you feel comfortable with that I will pm you with my facebook timeline. If you don't feel comfortable no offense will be taken and I will continue to support and benefit from you here.

Sicerely Bradley