Need answers
Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:29 pm
SO here I am. I have been down this road a few times and each time it's a bit different. I suffered from extreme panic disorder with agoraphobia which lasted 6 months in 2006. recovered from that and then again in 2009 but more of the obsessive, scary thoughts and once again recovered from that and here I am again with a mixture of both. I am really frustrated with myself because I have not let panic attack symptoms scare me since 2006 and once again I realize that I can still get them and be scared? it's different this time cause in the past I swore I was having a heart attack or a stroke and this time I swear i'm going crazy. I feel like I must have something that my therapist has not figured out. I can see the bad and things in everything. There are also days that I can tell myself that al this is, is anxiety and actually believe it. I also get scared because I feel that I can't go through this anymore that I may not make it out of this, this time. I try to convince myself that maybe I have PPD. Which I have never had before. I see my therapist once a week and am constantly looking for reassurance that im ok that i'm not going crazy, that this is NOTHING BUT ANXIETY. I still leave my house and go to work and drive and go on with my life, but i'm so tired of not feeling NORMAL!!! I have been through so much I am tired. I recently lost my brother in October and since then I have had my ups and downs. I also gave birth to my third child in August. I truly want to conquer this completely not have any reoccurrences, and I just want to enjoy my life with my kids. I don't understand why I can't just no be afraid of it and why after all these years of therapy and hard work I can still be affected by this. Don't get me wrong I have had many years where this has not been an issue. I just not sure if this really is anxiety and when am I going to finally kick it like a bad habit... it helps to come on and read that others feel the same way cause it is like my reassurance that maybe my dr is right that all it is, is ANXIETY. ggggggrrrrrr FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!