wanting more children

Are obsessive scary thoughts ruling your life? Do these thoughts seem beyond your control? Here’s how you can quickly address them and begin to feel better.
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pookie4
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2012 10:00 am

wanting more children

Post by pookie4 » Thu May 16, 2013 11:51 am

I would eventually like to have one more child. I have constant scary yhoughts so i am worried that if i get pregnant my hormones will change and i will turn out like Amanda Bates whuch scares the heck out of me. What if I cant handle a baby and just completely lose my mind ? I have two other kids and i was fine after both of them but i didnt have the scary tjoughts start until after my last child so im afraid it might be different has anybody else expierenced this?

coach21
Posts: 65
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:01 pm

Re: wanting more children

Post by coach21 » Fri May 31, 2013 2:49 pm

Hi Pookie4,

Couldn't help respond to your post in that scary thoughts were one one my more challenging symptoms of anxiety. From time to time we'll go through seasons of stress and uncertainty and begin to react to our obscure intrusive thoughts in old familiar ways inserting question marks where God put periods. I can identify with how you feel because I've experienced these seasons. The key is to begin responding with facts to the irrational statements and fears that follow these obscure automatic thoughts. For example "worried that if I get pregnant my hormones will change and I'll turn out like Amanda Bates...". Reality is you don't become pathological due to a change in hormones. This is undisputable. The mere fact that you recognize these thoughts and fears as irrational is pure evidence that you are of sound mind. People like Amanda Bates found these thoughts interesting. You recognized these thoughts as irrational. We are only dealing with anxiety. As per "What if I can't handle a baby and completely lose my mind..". Reality is people who "lose their mind" are unaware they are doing so thus you are not in that category. Individuals who are pathological would not be on this website reaching out for help for anxiety. This is pure evidence to support you are of sound mind. As per "didn't have scary thoughts didn't start until after last child...". Symptoms of anxiety manifest in many diffrent ways. We go through seasons of unmanaged stress which ultimately develop into anxiety because we are uneducated about anxiety and lack coping skills. Associating anxiety with a person, place or event is a very common fallacy called "fictitious nueroassociations". Thats when we falsely conclude that your scary thoughts had something to do with the birth of your second child. Nothing could be more further from the truth. Reality is all humans get weird, intrusive thoughts periodically. Their is ample evidence to support this fact. You were born with a higher than normal IQ and are very sensitive and analytical. Two great traits that make you a wonderful parent but when used counterproductively, cause anxiety. You just got into a habit of chasing these thoughts down with alot of irrational "what if's?" resulting in anxiety. We're not immune to our old ways of reacting. Especially during seasons of unmanaged stress. Pookie I've learned to never ler anxiety dictate any decisions in my life. Working through these decisions using my coping skills and support system has enabled me to develop emotional muscle and confidence. E-mail any time for support and God bless.

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