why
Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2012 8:52 pm
Why can't i do this acceptance thing? I've studied and studied and attempted to do what must be done to diminish these scary thoughts, but they just keep getting stronger and stronger. More of them and more frequent. What is it about me that can't let go. I'm obviously putting up with these thoughts instead of accepting them. I'm tired of this being my life, and i know what i must do to recover and come out of this setback, but i can't seem to do it. Has anyone on here had electro shock therapy. I'm starting to consider that this may be the only option i have to stop this fear/anxiety/fear cycle. I have so many obsessions now that i feel there is no way i can i ever fully recover from this by accepting. Yes i know this is catastrophizing and adding second fear, but i just don't think i can take much more of disgusting obsessions all day. It's like asking a jew in a nazi camp to just accept what is being done to them. It's too much to ask. Of me anyway. This has been so bad for 10 months now of attempting to accept. What i'm i to do? I haven't worked on anything so hard in my life with zero results. Obviously the self pity i feel for going through this is stronger than my will to accept that i have this problem with anxiety and it causes me to have these thoughts. I can't seem to hold on to the right attitude of not letting this be more than thoughts. I'm so tired. I'm so bewildered by this and some part of me just can't let go of hating these thoughts.