Stress Center Peer Support

i dont mean to be personal but have you had sex before?

It is comforting to know I am not alone to have scary obsessive thoughts. Sometimes when I feel low my thoughts have moved to being sexually abused by my dad. I have no visual/audio memory evidence to support this thought so have dismissed as a 'scary obsessive' thought. My dad is a impatient man whom uses anger but did his best that he knew how to raise me and my sibblings. I realize that ownership of my emotions is with me and no one can make you feel bad about yourself.

I have read thru some of each of the posts and we all seem to have one variation or another of compulsive thoughts. It does make sense that this thought is distracting us from what really is bothering us. Someone had indicated their therapist thought it was easier to deal with obsessive thought then with real issue. This makes sense to me.

We do not have to chase down these thoughts. You can turn off the 'chatterbox' as one poster said but try not to give them importance---REMEMBER-ONLY THOUGHTS, ONLY THOUGHTS.

Thanks for listening! Brett

Hi Brett -

I have these thoughts too and they are terrible. When they come on I can't shut them off. I changed to a new position in my company about six weeks ago and they started up again about six weeks before I started. I feel ok today and they seem to be disappating a bit. I feel so ashamed. When they are gone they feel like they would never come back and then whamo there they are again. Although, today is a good day any insight anyone on how to control these better?

Hey Guys,

Obscure scary thoughts were one of my symtoms as well. I think I've covered the spectrum as per these thoughts. I insignificized these thoughts through working with a grat therapist in conjunction with this program. I'd like to share some things I've learned about scary thoughts:
Every human has obscure thoughts pop up in their head from time to time. We however, are sensitive to negative stimuli. thus a scary thought pops up in our head and we tend to follow that thought up with alot of bad questions...i.e. Am I really capable of this? ect.....We in turn create and reinforce a circle of anxiety. A feeling follows a thought thus if we follow up a scary thought with countless "what if's" we find ourselves in a circle of anxiety. I broke this by following up a scary thought with rational responses in writing. I did this on a daily basis until my brain programmed these rational responses and broke with old dysfunctional circle of thought. I do get obscure thoughts from time to time...every human does...the fact that these thoughts initially made us anxious is pure evidence that we are incapable of carrying these thoughts out....those who find comfort in these thoughts have problems unrelated to anxiety/depression...they do not reach out for help on this forum...God Bless.

Michael -

Thank you so much for this great advice. I've been struggling with these over the past 10 years. I just recently told my therapist about them. I am going to try and do what you say. Thanks again....

I've been feeling okay for the last few days but then just watching stuff on youtube.com made these obsessive thoughts trigger again. I like Justin Timberlake so I was watching some music videos of him and such but then it showed some videos of Britney Spears too so I watched some of that. I felt turned on but I think thats just cuz of the music videos i watched before of Justin Timberlake but these thoughts are just coming in like what if im turned on by a girl? And im trying to get them all figured about but the thoughts are just so mixed up and it feels like all this "noise" is going through my head. any advice?

Noelle, I am no expert, but I may be able to offer some advice. First of all, I don't think it's a big deal even if you are turned on by a girl. Honestly, as humans we respond to sexual stimuli, regardless of gender. A woman's body especialy is designed to be appealing. I took an art class and it talked about how people in general (male and female) respond to the female body. So, just physiliogically speaking we are basically wired to appreciate it. And when we see a female being sexual I think we kind of imagine ourselves as that female and it brings out our instinctual sexuality. Female sexuality is a very powerful thing. I think its almost kind of contagious. I think women may be able to appreciate each others' sexuality and the power that goes with it in a unique way. I know this all probably sounds odd, but I'm just saying that I think it's alright. We can be turned on by a display of sexuality regardless of gender. Now, you should think more about who you feel a romantic connection to and more of a desire to have a relationship? Know what I mean? There is a difference. I hope I have helped. I know I was a bit confusing with my words, but I hope it came out clearly. Try not to let it scare you and accept that we all get turned on by sexuality and sensuality when it is in front of us. Ladies? Back me up on this Best of luck, Noelle.

Sarah,

Thank you for writing back. As I read your post, I just felt so relieved by your words. It was like okay, I'm not weird. Maybe this is normal. Especially reading the end of post when you ask me put things in perspective, it just made me realize that these are just thoughts and deep down, I know the truth. Thank you again for taking your time and writing back. Your words really helped me get through the moment.

Sarah Anne -

Thank you so much. I've been struggling with this off and on for I can't tell you how long. I wish I new this ages ago before the obsession got totally out of control.

I will try to really keep this in mind.
Thanks Again...

Sarah Anne is right. I've heard this so many times about our sexuality and what turns us on. When you no longer give the sexual thoughts any emotional attention (resistance) they will go away. Truly. Even people without panic attacks and OCD have these thoughts cross through their minds. They don't give them any energy - and the thoughts pass. They just let them go. No big deal.

You're OK.