Disturbing Sexual Thoughts!

Are obsessive scary thoughts ruling your life? Do these thoughts seem beyond your control? Here’s how you can quickly address them and begin to feel better.
Boon
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:42 pm

Post by Boon » Wed May 30, 2007 7:10 am

Sarah Anne is right. I've heard this so many times about our sexuality and what turns us on. When you no longer give the sexual thoughts any emotional attention (resistance) they will go away. Truly. Even people without panic attacks and OCD have these thoughts cross through their minds. They don't give them any energy - and the thoughts pass. They just let them go. No big deal.

You're OK.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold

~Noelle~
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:31 am

Post by ~Noelle~ » Wed Jun 06, 2007 5:51 am

I've been having this reoccuring thought for a while and I was hoping you could give me some of your two cents. I'm starting to take better care of myself, Eating right and going to the gym, but I've been thinking what if I look at myself and start to look so good and so in shape, That i feel turned on by myself (my body?) That's just weird, Is what my brain is saying. But then i think how sometimes the scary thoughts are distractions. Am i just distracting myself with this because I'm not used to feeling good and in my brain I feel like I don't deserve it. Any input would be great.

Boon
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:42 pm

Post by Boon » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:50 am

It's just your ego trying to keep you stuck, Noelle. That's all it is. If you did not have an opinion one way or the other about your sexuality, the thoughts would not make you feel badly. They would leave as fast as they arrived and would not come back often if at all.

Continue to soothe yourself with comforting self talk.

"So what if I'm turned on by my body."

In fact, go to the mirror and embrace yourself. Look into your eyes when you do that. Say wonderful things to yourself and enjoy the moment. There are wonderful workshops out there for women, in particular, where they are nude the whole weekend and learn to love their bodies as they are.

Your ego is telling you something is wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. Keep reminding yourself of that, Noelle.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold

Jlbjea
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:00 am

Post by Jlbjea » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:36 am

Boon -

Great advice. I'm working on some issues myself right now and feel like I'm getting a little better each day. What about in appropriate sexual thoughts and images concerning friends and/or family. I know it sounds silly. Am I just torturing myself or is my ego just torturing myself? Any advice. What do you do when you picture vile things you know you would never do?

Thanks,
Jlb

~Noelle~
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:31 am

Post by ~Noelle~ » Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:53 am

Boon,

Your advice does help me get through the moment, But now I'm trying to get through another one. See, I watched this movie where there is this really attractive girl and I think I am feeling turned on. I know ive been scared to watch this movie so am i just triggering the fear? I'm thinking about what you say and how you should just accept it, don't fight it. So, Should I just say: There is that thought again. So what if I think that girl is attractive? So what if she has a nice body? As part of human nature, it is completely normal to react this way.

Well, that does make me feel better, It's just funny. When i write it down by myself, I feel so alone but when I write it here and my brain is saying that maybe people could help give me advice, the positivity comes out more.

Boon
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:42 pm

Post by Boon » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:32 am

jlbjea - I know what I am saying is hard to accept at first but you'll understand once you take that step. Your healing is getting to a place where it doesn't matter one way or the other if you have the thoughts or visions. It's a tough one only because the thoughts are so "yucky" and disgusting but work with watching instead of reacting to your thoughts. Practice and you'll see the thoughts coming less and less.

Stop Obsessing by Foa and Wilson offer great phrases as well as information about this. Lee Baer's, Imp of the Mind is very helpful as well.

"Oh, there are those thoughts again."
"I see what is going on. Ego is having fun at my expense."

The only reason the thoughts seem so overwhelming is because you resist them. Of course, they are not who you are - so why give them any energy.

Noelle - Do you see how one thought replaces another and your concerns are neverending for you about your sexual thoughts? Really notice this. Don't judge it. Just notice. You are only comforted for a moment- and then another thought comes and scares you, yet again.

Thoughts are mechanical. That's it. Nothing more. In and of themselves they have no power. Only the power YOU give it. Start observing and stop reacting. The more you practice the less power these thoughts will have over you.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold

Jlbjea
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:00 am

Post by Jlbjea » Sun Jun 10, 2007 1:26 am

Boon -

Thank you for the great advice. I feel like I am finally starting to learn so much about myself and the way my mind works. You are right. I can watch the thoughts and images and know that they are not who and what I am.

Thanks again,

Jlb

~Noelle~
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2006 11:31 am

Post by ~Noelle~ » Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:01 pm

This post has been removed.
Last edited by ~Noelle~ on Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Healing In Process
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 2:22 pm

Post by Healing In Process » Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:40 am

You got it Noelle! Just watch it and let it pass right by you.
Stick your tongue at it too...
:p
Keep on, keeping on...

Boon
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:42 pm

Post by Boon » Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:41 am

Good job, Noelle - a thought is a thought is a thought. It is mechanical only. Don't judge them or rationalize. Thoughts make absolutely no sense at all.

You can even start talking back to them less and less. Just be the watcher of your thoughts. Nothing more is necessary to do. It's no big deal that you have these thoughts nor is it a big deal that you have sensations. So what?

Don't even resist being afraid. Soothe and comfort that inner child. "I can feel how afraid you are. It's OK. I will not abandon you. What you are afraid of is not real but it is certainly OK to feel the fear. It will pass." Emotions are in time so they must pass. Be patient. A great acronym for fear is "false evidence appearing real".

You're doing great!
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold

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