Often obsessing about death, attending wakes/funerals
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:57 am
Hello all,
Perhaps many of you have these fears, too.... I don't know what I was told as a child, but at age 13 a cousin of my parents died from a brain tumor. My young cousin 11 yrs old went to the wake and funeral, but I was terrified of seeing a favorite "Aunt Florence" laid out as a corpse. Well, my parents made fun of me as they went to the wake for 3 afternoons and nights before the burial service. Italian custom = they draw this thing out for 3 or 4 days. I was a sensitive child of stern parents. Recently the grandmother of my new son in law passed away, I did go to the wake on burial day, I sat with my husband way in the back of the small chapel. I couldn't bring myself to walk up to the casket and pay my respects, so I sat and prayed for her instead, which comforted me, too. I do fine when someone passes on and there is a cremation service which is what we did when each of my two sons passed on. but I just get so anxious and somewhat scared when it's a visiting hours wake/funeral. My mom is 100 yrs in October, and I often obsess about her wake and funeral service. I think I scare myself saying to myself "What if you just can't cry, will you freak out and have a panic attack upon viewing the body?" Then I catch myself obsessing over these fearful thoughts and say to myself "Thoughts... only thoughts" I listen to the relaxation tape 2 to 3 times a day still. I know now that fear of death/dying is just fear of the unknown, but this is a big issue it seems for me. I really need to get healed and over this bad habit of obsessing over the future events and begin to live in the moment.
I am working on coming back to the present moment. I will talk with my minister about this, it's probably more common than I realize! I have heard that if we knew that dying and the death experience is such a uplifting, freeing and beautiful experience, we would never fear death again.... I used to tell myself (an excuse for not facing the corpse at a wake) that I really would rather remember the person the way he or she was in life. I really need your inputs on this so that I may finally put these anxieties and fears to rest. Thank you all in advance for your support, I'm doing rather well on this course and I am so grateful to Lucinda and Dr. Fisher for their vital info to heal this anxiety disorder. I'm feeling so much better these days!
All the best,
Patti
Perhaps many of you have these fears, too.... I don't know what I was told as a child, but at age 13 a cousin of my parents died from a brain tumor. My young cousin 11 yrs old went to the wake and funeral, but I was terrified of seeing a favorite "Aunt Florence" laid out as a corpse. Well, my parents made fun of me as they went to the wake for 3 afternoons and nights before the burial service. Italian custom = they draw this thing out for 3 or 4 days. I was a sensitive child of stern parents. Recently the grandmother of my new son in law passed away, I did go to the wake on burial day, I sat with my husband way in the back of the small chapel. I couldn't bring myself to walk up to the casket and pay my respects, so I sat and prayed for her instead, which comforted me, too. I do fine when someone passes on and there is a cremation service which is what we did when each of my two sons passed on. but I just get so anxious and somewhat scared when it's a visiting hours wake/funeral. My mom is 100 yrs in October, and I often obsess about her wake and funeral service. I think I scare myself saying to myself "What if you just can't cry, will you freak out and have a panic attack upon viewing the body?" Then I catch myself obsessing over these fearful thoughts and say to myself "Thoughts... only thoughts" I listen to the relaxation tape 2 to 3 times a day still. I know now that fear of death/dying is just fear of the unknown, but this is a big issue it seems for me. I really need to get healed and over this bad habit of obsessing over the future events and begin to live in the moment.
I am working on coming back to the present moment. I will talk with my minister about this, it's probably more common than I realize! I have heard that if we knew that dying and the death experience is such a uplifting, freeing and beautiful experience, we would never fear death again.... I used to tell myself (an excuse for not facing the corpse at a wake) that I really would rather remember the person the way he or she was in life. I really need your inputs on this so that I may finally put these anxieties and fears to rest. Thank you all in advance for your support, I'm doing rather well on this course and I am so grateful to Lucinda and Dr. Fisher for their vital info to heal this anxiety disorder. I'm feeling so much better these days!
All the best,
Patti