BUILDING A BETTER LIFE
This thread is open to anyone who is going thru the program. We are now on session 10 and we will start a new lesson every week. We are following Lucinda's Program the way is meant to be, listening to the sessions, reading the lessons, completing the assignments. This is just an space to share your experiences and progress.
It has been a great experience to go thru the program with the company and support of other people. It is nice to know that there are people willing to listen and share their experiences.
We would like to support each other, share our progress and continue growing and learning. If you have anything to share, join us, we learn a lot from other people's experiences.
The video for this week
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XieLtOF4ltI
Building a better life... Session 10
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
This is not an easy session for me. I have been thinking a lot about all the different issues related to the anxiety. I understand that this is a condition that we create, and I have been thinking of the things we try to avoid with the anxiety.
I know that my anxiety got worst when I was at work trying to please everybody and going nuts in the process. It was imposible to do all the things I had to do, the stress kept growing and I didn't see how it was affecting me.
I know that I am my worst judge, and I'm not sure of how to do things different. I am constantly worried about what people think of me and I usually get the feeling that I have done something wrong.
My mind keeps going to the past, reliving past mistakes and being unable to give me a break.
Live in the present doesn't come easy.... right?
We are in the way to a better life... I for one, am learning a lot, however there are usually difficult moments and difficult discoveries.
As my therapist used to say... Therapy that doesn't make you cry, is no therapy....
We have to pass some hard times in order to get to a better place.
I hope everybody is doing good
Hope
I know that my anxiety got worst when I was at work trying to please everybody and going nuts in the process. It was imposible to do all the things I had to do, the stress kept growing and I didn't see how it was affecting me.
I know that I am my worst judge, and I'm not sure of how to do things different. I am constantly worried about what people think of me and I usually get the feeling that I have done something wrong.
My mind keeps going to the past, reliving past mistakes and being unable to give me a break.
Live in the present doesn't come easy.... right?
We are in the way to a better life... I for one, am learning a lot, however there are usually difficult moments and difficult discoveries.
As my therapist used to say... Therapy that doesn't make you cry, is no therapy....
We have to pass some hard times in order to get to a better place.
I hope everybody is doing good
Hope
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Hey hey. Thought i'd do a report.
So in group therapy last week we learned about anger and well it has started to really unleash some of the rage I have supressed and began to unravel some of the manipulation that my grandfather did when he sexually abused me as a child and seeing it for what it really was. He had told me he loved me and made me feel special and that instill guilt whenever I tried to blame him. I was living my life as if I was the perpetrator in that i was feeling guilty, I didn't allow myself to feel happy, I didn't feel worthy of anything and I isolated myself and lived in fear whereas my grandfather actually is living the way he always has been with people around him who care and help him out, he does what he wants and didn't take responsiblity for his actions at all. So I've had lots of rage and fury come up but I've started to have that come up and I would just allow myself to experience it and it went away. I have started to shift from feeling guilty to feeling blame towards my grandfather and now I am starting to feel worthy of defending myself. I deserve to stand up for my rights and I want to defend myself. I feel like I matter and that I am becoming an adult. This has made me actually feel closer with the friends I have and want to reconnect with other people. I also am more curious about the lives of others and am starting to wake up feeling happy and anticipating the day ahead of me. I am getting there and I have alot more work to do.
We actually started to talk about boundries today, what is healthy and what is not. It was talking about drawing the line and letting people know what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, very similar to the expectations we talk about in the program except it was more focused on creating safety as opposed to being assertive with others. But still something in common they said we don't have to justify anything and within healthy boundries saying yes or no is good enough.
Anyways so thats whats up with me. I'm making lasting progress and things actually feel relieving and satisfying, I am definately hitting this at the core now and it feels good. I also have over 210 pages written for my book. Things are looking up and I hope everybody is doing well.
Mike
So in group therapy last week we learned about anger and well it has started to really unleash some of the rage I have supressed and began to unravel some of the manipulation that my grandfather did when he sexually abused me as a child and seeing it for what it really was. He had told me he loved me and made me feel special and that instill guilt whenever I tried to blame him. I was living my life as if I was the perpetrator in that i was feeling guilty, I didn't allow myself to feel happy, I didn't feel worthy of anything and I isolated myself and lived in fear whereas my grandfather actually is living the way he always has been with people around him who care and help him out, he does what he wants and didn't take responsiblity for his actions at all. So I've had lots of rage and fury come up but I've started to have that come up and I would just allow myself to experience it and it went away. I have started to shift from feeling guilty to feeling blame towards my grandfather and now I am starting to feel worthy of defending myself. I deserve to stand up for my rights and I want to defend myself. I feel like I matter and that I am becoming an adult. This has made me actually feel closer with the friends I have and want to reconnect with other people. I also am more curious about the lives of others and am starting to wake up feeling happy and anticipating the day ahead of me. I am getting there and I have alot more work to do.
We actually started to talk about boundries today, what is healthy and what is not. It was talking about drawing the line and letting people know what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, very similar to the expectations we talk about in the program except it was more focused on creating safety as opposed to being assertive with others. But still something in common they said we don't have to justify anything and within healthy boundries saying yes or no is good enough.
Anyways so thats whats up with me. I'm making lasting progress and things actually feel relieving and satisfying, I am definately hitting this at the core now and it feels good. I also have over 210 pages written for my book. Things are looking up and I hope everybody is doing well.
Mike
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Mike,
It is so good to hear from you.
I imagine that the process has not been easy, however I am sure you will be in a much better place.... You are also building a better life for yourself.
Keep doing good....
Hope
It is so good to hear from you.
I imagine that the process has not been easy, however I am sure you will be in a much better place.... You are also building a better life for yourself.
Keep doing good....
Hope
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Hi Hope, I really enjoyed your comments and find them to be true for me as well. I need to come back and reread and read what Mike wrote. BRB. Paislee
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Hello everyone!
I had a better week. Much more calm and relaxed. I do need to grab this card when I have a sickness or doctor/ dental appt. I know I am capable of facing my fears. I need to plan better to make those changes. I even get pacey when I have to call to make the appointment. I think I must be a hypochondriac! Real or imagined. This is where most of my obsessive, scary thoughts come from.
We are building a better life!
I had a better week. Much more calm and relaxed. I do need to grab this card when I have a sickness or doctor/ dental appt. I know I am capable of facing my fears. I need to plan better to make those changes. I even get pacey when I have to call to make the appointment. I think I must be a hypochondriac! Real or imagined. This is where most of my obsessive, scary thoughts come from.
We are building a better life!
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Hi THH--I just commented on the other posting, but I agree, I get anxious having to make Dr appts. Ugh. 
I need to make one for my dentist, as you can imagine, I'm really not looking forward to it for just the same reasons as you stated. But I will plug along... Paislee
I need to make one for my dentist, as you can imagine, I'm really not looking forward to it for just the same reasons as you stated. But I will plug along... Paislee -
Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Hi Mike, so good to hear about your recent breakthrough at your therapy sessions! I'm so happy for you! I think your thoughts about your Grandfather are right on. Why should he be living life guilt free and comfortable while you had to suffer all your life because of him. I'm so glad that you are feeling better and beginning to understand boundaries and how to set them to protect yourself.
Good job on the increase of pages added to your book. That's wonderful! You are a great guy and I am so glad that you welcomed me here when I first came to StressCenter.com. I will never forget how you made me feel important. I truly needed the help you gave me. Thank you so much. Paislee
Good job on the increase of pages added to your book. That's wonderful! You are a great guy and I am so glad that you welcomed me here when I first came to StressCenter.com. I will never forget how you made me feel important. I truly needed the help you gave me. Thank you so much.
Paislee Re: Building a better life... Session 10
Mike,
I ditto Paislee! Wishing you continued success! And you helped me too
Paislee,
Yes that is what we do, plug along! LOL...Maybe we should make each others appointments and tell the person 1-2 hours before we need to go. Then we would not worry days ahead of time! LOL...
WE can!
I ditto Paislee! Wishing you continued success! And you helped me too
Paislee,
Yes that is what we do, plug along! LOL...Maybe we should make each others appointments and tell the person 1-2 hours before we need to go. Then we would not worry days ahead of time! LOL...
WE can!