Stress Center Peer Support

i posted this is a different section but no one responded
Hi everyone Happy New Year. I just wanted to ask a question that i have been stuck on for years. And its about God and my faith. I am Catholic and have a strong faith and firm believer. But a couple years ago i experience derealization( lovely thing lol) and it through my thoughts of God off. Now for some reason if someones starts talking about God or going to church it sends me back into the derealization so i void thinking about it or talking about it. My faith isnt the problem i still know i believe its just that i guess i made myself scared of that. Has anyone else done this. I kind of feel alone with it. And how do i train myslef to go back to the way i use to think??? I have come so far but this is one is kind of hanging on. Any advice or input would be great!!!! Thank you so much God Bless!

Sorry to post this so late but I just started posting again it's been a while since I last posted. However I did want to share something similar that happened. I am also catholic and every Sunday I would go to church,then one day while at church my grandmother fainted and I thought she was having a heart attack. She collapsed and fell between the bench and the prayer rack. I have to admit I reacted so fast and picked her up and carried her outside . I called the ambulance and they rushed her to the ER. When the dust settled and we found out she would be okay, I developed a fear and a question in faith because my grandmother has always been a devoted catholic abc would always take me as a child with her. I was so disillusioned and questioned my faith. My grandmother remained sick for about five months but she was persistent and continued to go I didn't want to go anymore and would stay home. I started getting really anxious when my family would tell me to go and I refused. I even stopped praying. Just this Sunday for mothers day I saw my grandmother and she looked great she didn't look as skinny or weak. She told me she just kept praying and following her doctors advice. Then I finally got the courage to tell her why I haven't gone to church and that I lost my faith she smiled at me and said never to be afraid and to go back to church. I told her how can it be like before and she told me to think of any special day at church when we were all together and let it be one of joy and faith. Stay with that thought and only that thought. When that negative one comes to mind come back to the positive one. I know it seems to easy but in your situation think of one day pick your special memory when you were happy and full of faith. Hold onto it when that negative comes back think of the happy one. Remember GOD works in mysterious ways. This may be just a test of faith.