sick of scary thoughts

love31 · Post by **love31** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:01 am

Hello,My biggest problem with anxiety is obsessive thoughts.I have been fighting this for along time. It has gotten easier to deal with but the thoughts just wont go away, I have two beautiful boys they are my life and they need me, I just don't understand how I could think that I would ever hurt them, I know that it is nothing that I would ever ever do, I love them so much,they are the reason why I fight so hard. I have my good days and bad days, it seems when I'm about to start is when I can't get rid of the thoughts. Has this happened to anyone

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:14 am

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You have fleeting thoughts which is the devil trying to get in your head. When the thoughts come, have a montage ready to repeat over and over, like "Jesus, take away the scary thoughts." Or say a prayer like the our Father until it passes, and it will.
Sometimes we freak ourselves out by seeing something on tv and wondering if we are capable of that, and it stays with us for a long time waiting to resurface. The thoughts will diminish and soon you'll be able to handle the ones that filter through.
I say two things I'll share with you. First is "Lord, please strike me down first should I ever go to hurt anyone." Second, "Lord, take these thoughts that are not from you and place them at the feet of Jesus' most holy cross." And "Lord, send 10,00 angels to guard my mind from the evil whispers of the devil."
Hope that helps a little. Bev

derfy · Post by **derfy** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:23 am

I also have a beautiful little boy who I absolutely adore. I have such a fear of harming him it brings me to tears just to write about it. I have linked it to my anxiety with the programs help, but when I'm in the midst of the obsessive thoughts, its so hard to shake the feeling that I did something wrong. I end up checking that he is ok, another symptom of OCD, which is what obsessive thinking is. Hang in there, the program works! Another member gave me soem good advice awhile back:

"You are experiencing OCD and nothing more. If you are working with the program, stay with it. Use the workbook and follow the exercises daily. Use your relaxation tape, practice your breath work and use your STOP sign. Your don't have to ruminate, shout STOP, use your calm breath work and focus on what you're doing in the present moment. You can still function even if you don't feel like it. It's OK to be uncomfortable. You can handle it. Let yourself know that this is only OCD (no big deal-and it's not, by the way) and that you are in teh practice of allowing your thoughts and images to come and go as they please. (They don;t have to affect you). Start practicing "allowing" adn let go of the resistance. If you didn't care one way or the other about these thoughts, they would cease to exist."

Practice, this can be healed.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:25 am

Yes, I noticed negative thoughts would appear out of no where. Try deep breaths,think of Nice things,humming your favorite tune, step outside for freshAIR,clear your head and calm down they will go. Reassure yourself, talk to God. It will pass

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 4:26 am

Thank You all so much for the words of advice. I will continue to fight and ask God to guide me and strenghthen my mind. I just wish that I did not have to deal with these kinds of thoughts with my anxiety, I know alot of people with anxiety who could never relate to these kinds of thoughts. But again this is my fight not theres. I will never give up hope!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:33 am

I know exactly how you feel! I have scary thoughts and visualizations all the time. Then after they happen I ruminate over them trying to figure out if they mean something is wrong with me. They seem so real! I know they are not but I have to face them and say so what if they are there it's just my anxiety and nothing that I want. It is actually the fear of the fear that gets to you. You want so bad for them to go away so you can feel normal again. Right now I just allow them to be there and tell myself they do not mean anything. Very hard to do when they seem so real and it seems that if you say no big deal and just let them be there that you are giving in to them but you aren't. I pray for God's help to get this to go away. I am feeling better but it seems this is the hardest thing to get to go away.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:32 am

I love my daughter with all my heart and sometimes I think I would hurt her. I know I am not capable of hurting her but the thoughts cross my mind every once in awhile. It is all apart of the disorder; you know love your sons. I think that comes from maybe you being hurt by someone you love. I know for me that is why I think that way. Someone that was suppose to love me hurt me, and I guess I just wonder if I would do the same thing to her. I know I won't do it, but the thought makes me sick. She's beautiful I would never do anything to compromise her existence. Just the fact that you would share your scary thoughts pertaining to your children shows that those thought are false. If you were truly capable you would not share your thoughts with anyone. Bad people with bad intention don't share them; they hide them with intentions of one day making it a reality.

keithjoy · Post by **keithjoy** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 8:09 am

These were and still are sometimes, my biggest symptoms.

My problem is that I feel that everytime I have a thought or and image, I immediately need to tell someone (mother or boyfriend) so that they can assure me I am ok.
It is day three of me NOT doing this. I finished the program a year and a half ago and it is WONDERFUL, I highly suggest you get it if you do not have it. I am doing it a second time all the way through again right now and am on lesson 8 (What if thinking?)
It goes a long with it as well. So this again like I said before is day three of handling the thoughts by myself.
I have to say that as soon as I made the decision to handle it on my own, there seemed to be more thoughts. However, I consistently filled myself full of compassionate self talk and calmed my self down and it does help. I also have noticed that they seem to come on when my mind is idle. This is a huge key to recovery as well. Being able to recognize when I have the thoughts, sort of prepares me to hanldle them better. (Make sense?)
Also I realized that my thoughts are simply this. FEAR... Nothing more than those four little letters.
Fear is no longer going to upset me or make me beat myself up any lkonger.
I am bigger than any thought I imagine and I know that the scary thoughts are the thoughts that are false. If they were true , I probably wouldn't tell people them and they wouldn't scare me.
However, I am now working on changing this whole not telling people them because I've noticed that that in itself has become a reassurance thing for me. I look to them to make me feel better and it's time for ME to make myself feel better.
Get it?
As much as we want them to go away and the more we tell ourselves how much we hate them and want them to go away, we are reinforcing their power!
Onve we can honestly say to ourselves,
"Ok, so I'm having this wierd thought or image, .. SO what?, it's just a thought and it's definitely not a representation of who I am as a person, therefore I am not letting it affect me."
or
" Ok, I'm beginning to obsess that I had this thought, so what? what is the worst that could happen. Act on it? No! because I've had a zillion times before and never have acted on it so why would I do it now?, the worst that is going to happen is I obsess until I am blue in the face and work myself into a panic and then finally when I am exhausted, I will let it go!"
Well It's time to stop that cycle.
Don't HATE that it's there, Simply say ok, I'll invite this thought in for some tea, sit down and have a chat with it!
FACE IT! and see that it doesn't hurt you!
You can do this!!!!!
See the humor as well in it!
That always helps!
Here is a great article for anyone that has OST's..
hope I helped!
Lisa
<A HREF="http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... &id=231502" TARGET=_blank>http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-elimin ... =231502</A>

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:01 am

Please forgive me, Bev. I know you mean well, but there is no devil involved here, and that type of statement may scare some people.

We are born phobics. We are predisposed toward this disorder. Simply put, we must learn the tools to deal with it. Just like a diabetic must learn to deal with that issue.

Lisa - when we begin to work on ourselves - consciously work on ourselves the way you are (and many others as well), that ego-thinking mind gets LOUDER and LOUDER because it is trying to keep you stuck. If you continue to react to "it" you keep it alive, but now, you see, you are working on yourself diligently so it's fighting back. This is a very good sign. Stay with your plan. Don't deviate. You've got this thing almost licked now when you hear it get louder. Pat yourself on the back. Great job!

I'd like to add an exercise that may be helpful to those on this thread in regard to their children. First of all, I want to reassure you as well that you will not harm your children.

When thoughts of harming them come try the following:

"Oh, there are those thoughts again. I know they are not real. This time I choose to simply breathe into the feelings that these thoughts generate." (Use your calm breath work) Then get focused on something in the moment. Do your best to keep yourself out of your head by focusing on what you are presently doing. Practice this. Soon that scary voice will get bored with your lack of attention to it and leave.

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:01 am

Hi all,

I have had the same annoying thoughts. They are sick and totally against my religious beliefs and values. After my son was born I had a thought of harming him. It haunted me for 9 months before I finally broke down. I sought the help of a therapist and he gave me some meds that have been helping. I just ordered Lusinda's program and am still waiting for it to arrive, has it helped any of you?