Growth Spurt - Scary Obsessive Thoughts

Trac · Post by **Trac** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:10 am

For about 2 weeks have been experiencing a growth spurt. Sometimes it's worse than others and I am trying not to let it get me down, although sometimes I just have to have a good cry. I finished the program a few years ago and have been doing good. Sometimes my obsessive, scary thoughts would creep in and I would just float with it and it worked.

I have suffered with anxiety and scary thinking since I was young. I would have bouts of it and struggle with it and it would pass for a long time. I realize now that over weeks and weeks that I used to struggle with it I would become more desensitized to it until the next time it popped up and each time it seemed worse.

Well today has been a hard day for me. I have always hated the obsessive, scary thoughts I would have. I have been reading a lot of the posts on this forum and have come to realize that my scary thoughts are distracting me from something.

I started back to school and have a huge paper to write and with all this anxiety thinking I haven't been able to focus on it. Shocker. I can't believe it took me almost 2 weeks to see it. In the past I would have quit what ever I thought was causing my anxiety or would make me scared. I don't want to quit college. Yes I work full time, take care of my child and am in school, but I want to stick with it. I don't want anxiety and scary thoughts to run my life.

The other night I was praying "why me?", then I thought "why not me, why anybody else?". I apologize this is getting so long, it's just my scary, obsessive thoughts, like anyone else's, are horrible and I wish they would just go away and never come back.

This is my first growth spurt and I am working so hard for it not to be a relapse. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Traceen

Dave the Cubs Fan · Post by **Dave the Cubs Fan** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:30 am

Well, Traceen. What's the worst that could happen? I'll admit that I just got this program today, but it is so much relevant to my life, I thought I would share that with you.

You can do it.

Your anxiety will pass.

Eat some ice cream, and don't forget to share with your kid.

Trac · Post by **Trac** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:46 am

Dave:

Thanks for your encouragement. Good luck with the program. You will succeed and overcome this. Take care.
Trac

Dave the Cubs Fan · Post by **Dave the Cubs Fan** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 11:11 am

Thanks, Traceen. It takes a lot to raise a kid these days. Best hopes for the future of your family, and participation in this program. Like to hear from you again soon.

Lynn1981 · Post by **Lynn1981** » Sun Oct 07, 2007 10:52 am

Trac,

The thoughts are the thougths and they will be there no matter what until they float away. School isn't causing them, and not going to school won't fix them..........so keep on going and working the program. It's great that you have gotten this far and it's natural you would have some inner resistance. I have obsessive thoughts, too, and I know how difficult it can be. I've been to college, have a great job, and have found this progam last August to help me deal with the thoughts I have about work. We are all progressing together.

Lynn

Trac · Post by **Trac** » Sun Oct 07, 2007 12:10 pm

Lynn:

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Today has been tough. I am so upset because I never expected a growth spurt like this; although, I have to say it's not as bad as before I went through the program. I am trying to stay positive and reassure myself that this is just anxiety and it will pass. I can be so up and down sometimes during the day.

Tracy

Kita · Post by **Kita** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:06 am

Your'e doing the right thing by sticking with going to college. I also hate when those obsessive thoughts come about, it seems like they are never going to go away. I really just hate feeling this way. I have to wake up doing this every morning, it's what i breathe,i feel like i can't live without it. I will be so glad when i get back to the person i need to be.