Fear of heights/jumping off??

Ocean · Post by **Ocean** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:23 am

Hi, I just wrote a trimuph that I flew to CA this weekend. I did really well, except for one thing...the bridge!
We went to San Francisco and hubby wanted to walk on the Golden Gate Bridge. He knows I don't like bridges and this is a big one. I said OK and the further out we got, the more I had scary thoughts about jumping off. Why???

I couldn't even enjoy the view, it started with the thought that I had remembered reading about someone who committed suicide on GG. Then I thought, 'what if I just run over and jump off the edge, wouldn't that be just awful?" Heart started racing and I got dizzy, I started feeling out of control and wondering if maybe I would do it. I tried to use positive self talk, but I was panicking so much that I ended up running until I was off the bridge. I was fine on the lookout area that is near the bridge, just panicked on the bridge. Driving across it was fine. It's gorgeous area and I want to not be afraid to walk across it, but I'm not sure how to get over the fear. I felt like I wanted my husband to hold onto me so that I couldn't do it! That is crazy, I knew I didn't want to jump off of the bridge! Needless to say I felt a little anxious afterward when we went to eat, but tried not to beat myself up. After all, I KNEW I was afraid of bridges going on it and I still did it anyway!

Anyone with this same OST?

Ocean

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:38 am

It's called a fear of heights. (acrophobia)

It's nothing more so don't let that scare voice convince you that you are suicidal.

A way to cure from that is to walk over a bridge over and over and over and over again until pretty soon you will notice that you are no longer reacting anymore. (You are actually reacting to your thoughts and feelings.) Try the cure. It really works.

Ocean · Post by **Ocean** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 7:22 am

Hi Boon,
I remember my high school sociology teacher saying that if you have a fear of heights, that you are afraid you will jump off. It's weird because when we were on the lookout area (on the ground), I was fine, even though it was high. I will try to go on that bridge again once we move back to CA next month, maybe I'll find a smaller bridge to 'practice' walking on in the meantime. I definitely want to enjoy beautiful sights, so a few moments of being afraid until I am cured is worth it!!

thanks again!
Ocean

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 7:59 am

I love walking over the Golden Gate and you will too with practice. Remember that what you are feeling are sensations only. They are not suggestions to do anything. Just sensations. Breathe into them while you practice. Look out and beyond the railing. In time you'll even beable to look down.

Enjoy....

Ocean · Post by **Ocean** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 8:24 am

Boon,
Thanks! I really hope I can soon. I will certainly practice though and let you know how it goes! Do you live in SF? We're moving back to SJ again, and I can't wait! SF has some wonderful restaurants and it's just so darn gorgeous, I hope we visit more often after we move!!

Take care,
Ocean

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:47 am

I'm about 80 miles north of San Francisco - near Santa Rosa.

MelMbrsl75 · Post by **MelMbrsl75** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:07 am

oh yes, I have had this before, not an intense fear of jumping self harm, however, I have had the intense fear that I would harm someone else. I know that they are just thoughts and feelings, nothing real. All will be good!

Ocean · Post by **Ocean** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:41 am

OK, I have heard of Santa Rosa, near Napa maybe?

Melissa,
Thanks for your reply! It was just so scary on the bridge! I literally ran until I found this tall stone structure and I huddled beside it until my husband walked near and then I ran again. I almost felt like I wanted to sprawl out on the ground so that I would not be able to just run and jump! It sounds so silly now! I'm gonna work on it and accept the scary thoughts though!

Take care,
Ocean

Lizajane · Post by **Lizajane** » Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:52 pm

I am grateful to read this; I had a very similar experience on the Golden Gate Bridge; walking across the bridge with my family on a pleasant day, I came across the telephone with message to those contemplating jumping to call for help. I recalled many years earlier someone telling me that a fear of heights was in fact a fear that one would fling him/herself off the precipice (which I dismissed at the time as a preposterous suggestion). After reading the message for would-be jumpers, I suddenly was filled with dread and a sense that even I could fling myself off the bridge. I have never felt this way before; I clung to my husband for fear that I could not trust myself. I was completely overtaken with the sense that the bridge was not safe for me. At the same time I felt that my feelings were absolutely insane. It was as if the bridge was beckoning me to jump, like the Sirens beckoned sailors to their watery graves. Once we crossed (and then had to cross back) and I was on solid ground, I felt OK, but for about 24 hours, I felt like something had happened to me that I did not understand. I really felt like I could suddenly just run to the railing and throw myself off the bridge, as if it was nothing more than a high dive at a swimming pool and I was responding to a dare. I am not unhappy, depressed, suicidal in any way; I am puzzled by my fear; I don't know where it comes from. I have not told anyone (including my husband who was with me) how I felt; I feel very embarassed that I could even think about jumping! What a weird day; I don't know if I will ever set foot on the bridge again.

happydancer09 · Post by **happydancer09** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:27 am

I recently felt this way too, lizajane, in a doctor's office on the 38th floor! omg!
can never go back up THERE again.