Hello everyone and Happy New Year.
I was wondering if I could get a little help with a negative obess. thought I been having today. I think the thought was triggered by a memory.
We went to Church this am as a family, my husband and 3 kids. The pastor at our Church is youngish and good looking. He is very good speaker and I enjoyed listening to him preach at Church. I got this what if thought what if I left my husband for the pastor. Which is pretty ridiculous because I love my husband and my life. But I began to feel horrible being attracted to the pastor.
This triggered a memory I had wehn I was young I used to have a crush on my cousin when I was a teenager, probably between the ages of 14-18. Now I only used tosee my cousin and his family once a year during summer vacation as he lived in another country. It was all very innocent.I grew up in a very strict family where we were never allowed to around boys or to date etc.
I have spoken to my husband and therapist over it becasue it would cause me immense anxiety. My therapsit said its really no big deal that this is usually how young girls begin to develop interactions with boys.
My mother would always say how horrible it was for cousins to marry. She had 2 cousins who married and it was always considered taboo in my family and she would talk about often, maybe she knew I had a crush on my cousin. Hearing her say this all the time made me feel horrible and I think started me having panic attacks over it. Even now as an adult some 25 years later when I see this cousin I get all anxious and embarrassed over how I was as a teenager.
So here I am today feeling all anxious and embarrassed over these two situations. I am using my breathing exercises and its helping to decrease the body symtpoms. I was wondering if anyone had some positive dialogue to help me put the past and this embarrassment behind me.
I appreciate any thoughts or insights. I am on week 4 expectations and I know I am taking myself way to seriously at this moment. I do need to learn to laugh at myself but I still continue to worry about what others think of me or what would my family say if they knew this.
So thanks again. Good luck and God Bless.
Need help with negative obess. thought
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forever young 06
- Posts: 284
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm
you need to know this is just your imigaination that is all it is a thought we anilize everything and make mountains out of mole hills.I have had a crush on cousin years ago and never thoght a thing about it this is your mind giving power thru the thought.I have had the same feelings about different people what happened years ago you can't help that and can't go back and having those thoughts last give no power to them and don't worry because you are not your thoughts.you love your husband have a good family you are not going to go running after another man it is your imiganitation and like one guy in the program said thoughts only thoughts let them come and pass thru you if you don't give them any power they won't stay around
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to another man while you're married, as long as you don't act on it. And don't tell your husband about stuff like that, it'll only make him jealous for nothing.
As for the cousin, children and young teens go through this all the time. It's normal. You wouldn't have dated him, you only thought he was cute. There's nothing wrong with that. Let it go. You were a child then. You have to release yourself from this guilt. Pray and ask GOD to take the guilt feelings away, and he will.
As for the cousin, children and young teens go through this all the time. It's normal. You wouldn't have dated him, you only thought he was cute. There's nothing wrong with that. Let it go. You were a child then. You have to release yourself from this guilt. Pray and ask GOD to take the guilt feelings away, and he will.
Deedee thank you for your words of encouragement regarding my negative obess. thinking. I really appreciate them. I guess its guilt that I have been carrying around since childhood, that really needs to go.
Sometimes having someone here on these forums who knows what its like to have anxiety and all its nonsense, break things down for you helps so much. Thank you for responding. Take care and God Bless.
Sometimes having someone here on these forums who knows what its like to have anxiety and all its nonsense, break things down for you helps so much. Thank you for responding. Take care and God Bless.