Scary thought about hurting my child....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:40 am

I'm hoping no one is staring at you and judging you! No, a cat is nothing like a child but that doesn't mean it's not just as important to you as my daughter is to me. Of course, my scary thoughts are much more severe than what you did to that cat! I have pretty severe anxiety, but I'm also wondering if a lot of what I'm going thru is post pardum depression. Can that begin when your child is 9 or 10 months old or is it supposed to start when they are younger? BTW, I work in a vets office. Cat's don't do that kind of stuff because they don't know any better. They usually do it because they're angry or irritated about something. They have total attitude.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:38 pm

Melissa, I've had all the thoughts and no longer have them. It's garden variety anxiety/panic/obsessive but your mind wants to tell you your unique, it's something chemical, your bi-polar, schizo, you name it. Reality is that if you were, you wouldn't be posting your thoughts here and you wouldn't think their insane (which would really be insane!)

I've had all the same thoughts, as have others. we all knew they were insane, we all felt sick and ashamed for thinking them and yet they'd keep coming.

A thougts a thought and it has a lot of power when it's a secret and your fearful of it. Get it on the table, acknowledge it's insane and don't recoil from it or avoid it and it loses all it's power. Recoil, grab on, run and it just escalates.

The same is true of any thought whether it's diving through a window, hitting another car head on, drowning while giving bath, dismembering your child while cutting something with knife, whatever the "insanity of the day" may be.

To someone unfamiliar with anxiety/panic you mention this to them and their ready to have you committed. Mention it to someone that's lived it, they understand, don't judge, know your not going to act and it loses all power.

You see or hear something on the news and all the sudden your obsessing that it could be you if you "let go". The reality is that the more you avoid and recoil the more power it has and you become consumed.

Tons of people have gone through it and it's garden variety panic/anxiety. Don't be ashamed, don't run from it, do as your doing here by sharing and it will lose it's power. (while your mind is saying, you better not let go or your gonna snap!

Don't recoil and move on. Trust me, if you were insane, you wouldn't be acknowledging how crazy the thoughts are. If you don't fear them, just acknowledge their crazy and move on, they lose power and will disappear.

Now go hug your kid!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:16 pm

I feel your pain i had similiar thoughts when iused to walk past knifes i had strong thoughts of hurting my children,and the death of my cousin really made me scarred i couldnt face it.I feel your pain.But we have to embrace our feelings but dont entertain those thoughts,distract yourself,read a positive book,exercise,talk to someone.Im still dealing, but i know if we focus it shows how smart we really aree,and how we can overcome these symptoms

wrigleyjen · Post by **wrigleyjen** » Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:33 pm

Thanks for making me feel better about it, Melissa. And yeah, I'm pretty sure it's normal to get post-partum depression when the baby is at that age as well.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:04 pm

hi well i feel ure pain wen my doughter turn 9months i had does thoughts and i never experience that i was so scare i did not touch her i just did not eat sleep all i did was cry and worry but i love her so much i felt i just could not take having does felling. but it past two weeks later and it recently happen again but the thought is going awy. wat is sad is that we miss so much because this dam anxiety and deppression i have both well the good thing is is just that