Perfectionalism

Jazelle · Post by **Jazelle** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:32 pm

Hey Everyone,

I really like the discussions on the forums where we can write (journal) our unique issues.
Today I had a contractor out to fix some "legitimate concerns" for a second time on some repairs he did. Then I went through each thing they worked on showing him the littlest or some "not so noticeable" things that I thought were wrong. I drove him nuts and finally he got agitated and told me "THIS IS IT AND NO MORE!" A girl at work said that I'm a perfectionist and some things you just have to let go. HOW DO I BREAK THIS CLINGING HABIT???

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:45 am

Do you have the program? Lucinda has an entire section on this. We have to have everything right. Ask yourself why...what would it hurt if it wasn't perfect? If you know you have an issue, then you can work on it on your own to not be so demanding of others. As long as you know it's something you REALLY feel about yourself. A co-worker, and a contractor shouldn't be able to tell you who you are. Just work on it the best you can by noticing points where you feel like you might be going over-board. If you have trouble recognizing issues, then ask a close friend or someone you trust to tell you when you're "acting like a perfectionist" again. This is just a way for anxiety sufferers to get some control in their lives. Try looking around at all aspects of your personality.If you feel out of control with anxiety, then you might be trying to control others as a perfectionist to gain control back into your life. I really recommend getting the program if you don't have it.
I hope this helped. Best of luck and God Bless.
Emilie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:11 pm

Thanks Emilee for the encouragement! Your right about the contractor and friend. I notice the perfectionism more when I've done overload with work, projects, & lack of sleep. Everything seems so out of control.

I went through the program in 2003 with a coach but feel like I'm back there again. Review is
necessary and that means I must MAKE the time to do that. It has to be a prioity!! I also have seasonal depression and have failed to sign up at the gym for the tanning bed this winter. There's ANOTHER priority!!
Thanks

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:36 pm

I also deal with this issue in the means of cleanliness...everything in my house has to appear to be perfect. It used to be so bad that everything about my appearence also had to seem perfect my clothes, hair, body, make-up. I couldn't even go to the corner store without doing my make-up and getting all dolled up to ful-fill the need of being perfect. I whitened my teeth daily tanned worked out. These things are all good for yourself esteem and the exercise is great but it's when you take them too far it becomes an issue. (not saying this is your issue) One thing that made me stop caring was Paxil CR. LOL I don't reccomend that for you but it helped me with obsessing about my appearence. I still obsess with hings in my house though and everything around me must be in a neat orderaly fashion. I feel very uncomfortable and grossed out when i am in someone elses home that has a lot of clutter or just dirt. But, i did have a realization that i crate this image in my head of what perfect should look like and no one else knows what it looks like only me so who cares if i dont think its "perfect" because other peole may think my house is very nice ...well ok i just started rambling...so im not sure where i was going with this...uhhh lol ....hold on.....oh yes ...oh no...hmm im not sure what i was saying but when you find out a solution tell me too....LOL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:54 am

Jazelle,
You're very welcome! You're right about the way to approach this. A good review might help. Don't beat yourself up, you're on the right track! I also have seasonal depression...so I know how you feel when it's this time of year. We need more sun!!!! Have you looked into a seasonal depression light? I have one that is very small and looks like a regular desk light. It really does help me...or at least I think it does. Either way why not?
Best,
Emilie