and moderators, your input sure would be appreciated, pinkee
Posts: 153
Program Vets, Moderators, attention please!
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Pinkeetoz
I am not a parent and I don't think I will be in the near future but I do know what it is like to feel bad when someone else I care about is suffering. This may actually be a better thing that they are going through this now instead of later as you still have lots of influence in their lives and the chances of them growing to a point where they can face it and overcome it.
This can actually be great as a motivation for your own development as we all know behavior is learned from seeing as opposed to just being told. Monkey see monkey do...its the same with humans and well any living being really. Your growth can help influence the personal power within themselves to do the same thing
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Now I cannot give you all the answers but i'd like to ask you a few questions...this is more for your own benefit and you do not have to respond to me with the answer...I'd just want you to know the answer for yourself.
Do your children suffer the same way you do? Are they struggling with the exact same problems as you?
One thing i've found from the self help/personal growth programs and courses is that just listening and letting the other person understand their feelings and pain can help to relieve so much anxiety. Kids included.
By the way you could always brainstorm about the problems they're having and come up with some really good ideas...You could also ask on here as well.
For instance...If they're having problems with kids at school...you could suggest enrolling them in some sorta martial art so they learn to calm themselves and be less effected by these other people and can still defend themselves without having to hurt the other kid.
Hope it helps.
Mike
I am not a parent and I don't think I will be in the near future but I do know what it is like to feel bad when someone else I care about is suffering. This may actually be a better thing that they are going through this now instead of later as you still have lots of influence in their lives and the chances of them growing to a point where they can face it and overcome it.
This can actually be great as a motivation for your own development as we all know behavior is learned from seeing as opposed to just being told. Monkey see monkey do...its the same with humans and well any living being really. Your growth can help influence the personal power within themselves to do the same thing
.Now I cannot give you all the answers but i'd like to ask you a few questions...this is more for your own benefit and you do not have to respond to me with the answer...I'd just want you to know the answer for yourself.
Do your children suffer the same way you do? Are they struggling with the exact same problems as you?
One thing i've found from the self help/personal growth programs and courses is that just listening and letting the other person understand their feelings and pain can help to relieve so much anxiety. Kids included.
By the way you could always brainstorm about the problems they're having and come up with some really good ideas...You could also ask on here as well.
For instance...If they're having problems with kids at school...you could suggest enrolling them in some sorta martial art so they learn to calm themselves and be less effected by these other people and can still defend themselves without having to hurt the other kid.
Hope it helps.
Mike
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Guest
Mike - Very insightful and execellent advice for somebody who says he does not have children. You must be very intuitive to other's feelings.
I noticed my son was showing signs of anxiety, feeling like he does not fit in at his school, kids picking on him, etc. It was making me more anxious and I was worrying about him, I was tossing and turning all night worrying about sending him to school the next day and he was picking up on my anxiety and becoming anxious, too. Going through the program I was able to give him the tools that I was using and I am happy to say that he is getting along just fine.
As Mike also suggested, we enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do to build his self-esteem. That has been awesome. He does not talk about his martial arts at school, but he has a self-assurance about him now, which is great to see.
I let him listen to the relaxation cd and we practice our breathing all the time. We also practice turning negative statements to positive. Sometimes he even catches me in a negative moment and points it out.
Your children will learn the tools you are learning just by watching you get stronger and stronger. You will get there. I never thought I would be where I am at today, but here I am, happy, calm and self-confident again
Lisa
You must be very intuitive to other's feelings.I noticed my son was showing signs of anxiety, feeling like he does not fit in at his school, kids picking on him, etc. It was making me more anxious and I was worrying about him, I was tossing and turning all night worrying about sending him to school the next day and he was picking up on my anxiety and becoming anxious, too. Going through the program I was able to give him the tools that I was using and I am happy to say that he is getting along just fine.
As Mike also suggested, we enrolled him in Tae Kwon Do to build his self-esteem. That has been awesome. He does not talk about his martial arts at school, but he has a self-assurance about him now, which is great to see.
I let him listen to the relaxation cd and we practice our breathing all the time. We also practice turning negative statements to positive. Sometimes he even catches me in a negative moment and points it out.
Your children will learn the tools you are learning just by watching you get stronger and stronger. You will get there. I never thought I would be where I am at today, but here I am, happy, calm and self-confident again
Lisa
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Guest
Mike had some very good advice.
One other thing I would suggest is look for things they do well, whether it's school work or grades, a hobby, sport, music, or whatever and constantly tell them how smart, talented, etc. they are. My son was a standout in sports, so it was very easy to do this with him. He was also smart. So this was pretty easy with him. He also had anxiety as a child and I suppose he still does to a degree, but he's adjusted well as far as I can tell and is doing well. Just love your kids, spend time with them, and constantly reinforce good traits about them through verbal expression. Have some fun!!!
One other thing I would suggest is look for things they do well, whether it's school work or grades, a hobby, sport, music, or whatever and constantly tell them how smart, talented, etc. they are. My son was a standout in sports, so it was very easy to do this with him. He was also smart. So this was pretty easy with him. He also had anxiety as a child and I suppose he still does to a degree, but he's adjusted well as far as I can tell and is doing well. Just love your kids, spend time with them, and constantly reinforce good traits about them through verbal expression. Have some fun!!!
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Guest
It will help you a great deal to develop a different attitude toward panic attack/anxiety disorder. The tendency toward it is definitely inherited. Once again acceptance is the key. Having experienced anxiety disorder for over 40 years I would definitely not want to have a serious phycial illness in place of it. However, there was a time when I did feel that way.
When you learn to accept anxiety and actually, genuinely allow it into your life it begins to lose its power over you. It takes time and practice. Eventually your attitude does change toward it. This will help your children more than anything - your acceptance. They are going to need to accept it as well to make it easier for them to go through. You need to be at peace with it, and so do your children. You learn to handle it as it comes without worry of when the next attack is going to arise.
"I prefer to not have anxiety but if I do, fine. I will handle it."
No one likes the feelings anxiety generates but a shift in attitude can be all that you need to help it move through you quickly rather than to have it hang around for hours and hours. Taking care of yourself through an attack is loving yourself. You don't need condemnation during those times. Instead you need soothing self talk and a willingness to really feel the feelings.
My best to you.
When you learn to accept anxiety and actually, genuinely allow it into your life it begins to lose its power over you. It takes time and practice. Eventually your attitude does change toward it. This will help your children more than anything - your acceptance. They are going to need to accept it as well to make it easier for them to go through. You need to be at peace with it, and so do your children. You learn to handle it as it comes without worry of when the next attack is going to arise.
"I prefer to not have anxiety but if I do, fine. I will handle it."
No one likes the feelings anxiety generates but a shift in attitude can be all that you need to help it move through you quickly rather than to have it hang around for hours and hours. Taking care of yourself through an attack is loving yourself. You don't need condemnation during those times. Instead you need soothing self talk and a willingness to really feel the feelings.
My best to you.
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LisaLisa
Thanks for the response to my posting. You are right that I am intuitive. It's something I recognized in myself growing up and the negative stuff I've went through has helped me to train this.
I'm also really glad that people could add onto what i was talking about. Don had a really good suggestion about constantly telling your kids how smart and talented they are.
And Boon...wow. You know I posted on this thread and I just felt like there was something missing...something that needed to be said. I've been reading all the other responses as well and everything seemed to be extremely helpful but still something was missing until you made your post. A short while ago I was commenting about the acceptance and it's funny because I've forgotten that in my own situation and for other people's situations as well and you are 1000% correct. Thank you for the reminder.
You were in a very calm state when you posted this weren't you Boon?
Mike
Thanks for the response to my posting. You are right that I am intuitive. It's something I recognized in myself growing up and the negative stuff I've went through has helped me to train this.
I'm also really glad that people could add onto what i was talking about. Don had a really good suggestion about constantly telling your kids how smart and talented they are.
And Boon...wow. You know I posted on this thread and I just felt like there was something missing...something that needed to be said. I've been reading all the other responses as well and everything seemed to be extremely helpful but still something was missing until you made your post. A short while ago I was commenting about the acceptance and it's funny because I've forgotten that in my own situation and for other people's situations as well and you are 1000% correct. Thank you for the reminder.
You were in a very calm state when you posted this weren't you Boon?
Mike