Hi there!
I have done the program once before and did great, I still occasionaly obsess with scary thoughts. (Hurting others, Myself, Going crazy)
I know I wuoldn't ever do any of those things but sometimes they can float on in and pass me by, other times, I feel scared and obsess about them...
When this happens I tend to tell my mom (best friend tell her eveything), and my boyfriend (also best reind) what thoughts are scaring me. They then roll their eyes, since I;ve been doing this sooooooooo much to them and tell me to stop it and know that I won't do it.
Basically, the underlying thing I think is this..
I feel that if I sit back have the thoughts, let them float on by, without telling anyone,then I feel like I have something to hide, and possibly am crazy.
if I tell someone, then I know that I'm not because they deflate it for me.
Does this make sense?
i hope so and if anyone has advice on how to really overcome this, that would be great!
thanks,
lisa
Reassurance from others!
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BookOfPsalms
- Posts: 119
- Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:16 am
Hi Lisa,
I don't think the thoughts ever stop coming back from time to time. What does change over time is our reaction to them - and you are already displaying many times when you just allow them to come and go without your attachment or reaction to them. This is powerful because this is indeed the key. Allowing them to come and go without our emotional attachment to them. I believe with continued practice of the Thought Stoppage when the initial thoughts come in, then using your calm breath for one or two times - inhale deeply, hold to the count of 4, exhale slowly through pursed lips and then shifting your attention to something outside of our head and allowing the discomfort of your reaction to the thought(s) to be there (while using the above tools) - you will reach that place where these thoughts no longer bother you at all. From my own experience there is still a very small (and it is very small) amount of fear of the anxious feelings and that's why they still bother you from time to time. You can also chew this ego-thinking mind out too! Tell it to "hit the road". "Vamanose" You are sick and tired of it haunting you. Shout at it.
There is nothing wrong with you sharing with your mom and boyfriend. Over time you want to be your own safe person entirely so when you are ready: When you experience the scary thoughts - don't share it with anyone. Use your tools to get you through the experience. If you still feel the need to share AFTER it is all over, then do so. There is a great lesson in doing this exercise. I can remember having to share also years ago or I thought something terrible would happen if I didn't. I feared the anxious feelings would never go away if I didn't share. When I was ready to do the above exercise I found that the anxious feelings do indeed go away, and I got to a point where I didn't have to share with anyone even after the anxiety went away.
It's all a process. It does not happen over night and it sounds to me like you are doing a great job, and you are a very powerful person who is able to help many people with their fears and concerns over anxiety and ocd.
You can handle anything!
I don't think the thoughts ever stop coming back from time to time. What does change over time is our reaction to them - and you are already displaying many times when you just allow them to come and go without your attachment or reaction to them. This is powerful because this is indeed the key. Allowing them to come and go without our emotional attachment to them. I believe with continued practice of the Thought Stoppage when the initial thoughts come in, then using your calm breath for one or two times - inhale deeply, hold to the count of 4, exhale slowly through pursed lips and then shifting your attention to something outside of our head and allowing the discomfort of your reaction to the thought(s) to be there (while using the above tools) - you will reach that place where these thoughts no longer bother you at all. From my own experience there is still a very small (and it is very small) amount of fear of the anxious feelings and that's why they still bother you from time to time. You can also chew this ego-thinking mind out too! Tell it to "hit the road". "Vamanose" You are sick and tired of it haunting you. Shout at it.
There is nothing wrong with you sharing with your mom and boyfriend. Over time you want to be your own safe person entirely so when you are ready: When you experience the scary thoughts - don't share it with anyone. Use your tools to get you through the experience. If you still feel the need to share AFTER it is all over, then do so. There is a great lesson in doing this exercise. I can remember having to share also years ago or I thought something terrible would happen if I didn't. I feared the anxious feelings would never go away if I didn't share. When I was ready to do the above exercise I found that the anxious feelings do indeed go away, and I got to a point where I didn't have to share with anyone even after the anxiety went away.
It's all a process. It does not happen over night and it sounds to me like you are doing a great job, and you are a very powerful person who is able to help many people with their fears and concerns over anxiety and ocd.
You can handle anything!
+Let The Word Do The Work!+
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Guest
I want to thank you for your response!
I have been dealing and handling any scary thoughts on my own for the past day and a half.
It's definitely not easy but I can almost separate myself from the thoughts I may be having at that moment and let them comein, make me anxious, and then pass a minute later. No kidding a minute later...
I notice that I almost "want" to react because that is what I have always done, however, I am not and that could make me a bi tuncomfortable.
But I am doing it !!!
I will continue to do this because I truly want to be the one I look to for reassurance and eventually not have to at all!
i know it's possible, others have done it and I can too!
I have been dealing and handling any scary thoughts on my own for the past day and a half.
It's definitely not easy but I can almost separate myself from the thoughts I may be having at that moment and let them comein, make me anxious, and then pass a minute later. No kidding a minute later...
I notice that I almost "want" to react because that is what I have always done, however, I am not and that could make me a bi tuncomfortable.
But I am doing it !!!
I will continue to do this because I truly want to be the one I look to for reassurance and eventually not have to at all!
i know it's possible, others have done it and I can too!
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Guest
Remember that you are in the process of changing an old habit. It feels strange not to react at first but the more you practice underreacting, the easier and more comfortable it gets. "I hear what you're saying, but I do not have to follow." "You can babble all you want. This time I choose not to react." "I choose to watch you come and go." Eventually, you will get to a place where you don't even talk to "it" anymore. You see or hear the thought and you just get on with your day without acknowledging it at all.
You're doing a great job! Keep it up.
You're doing a great job! Keep it up.