Okay... I've listened to CD 10 well over a dozen times and I've talked to a couple of folks in chat about it, but its still eating away at me....its an obsessive scary thought, that I'm dreaming everything that is going on, and perhaps I have some other mental illness or something to that level. I've had some minor anxiety issues about it, but cannot shake the feeling I'm not totally in reality, this is really starting to tear me apart, please help me with any advice or suggestions to make this obsessive thought go away.
I went to see my psychologist today, and yes I heard everything she said and agreed, but once I got home again they started up once more. I'm currently on 20mg of Celexa and do not want to medicate any higher than that; doc suggested perhaps going up to like 40-60mg. I do not want to, If I can just someone shake this thinking or this obsessive thought I'll feel much better. It seems to go away and at times it will come back, I have even thought could this be the onset to one of the other serious mental illness which I'm extremely fearful of, I don't even want to say the name because it bothers me so much but it starts with an S. Please help me!
Please help me with this, has anyone gone through this and how did they handle it?
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Guest
Hi Lo'Ren,
Don't worry...you aren't going crazy! Although I too am working on this program and haven't even made it to lesson 10, I can share my experience with you.
I have been dealing with anxiety for many years...I can even remember back to being 5 and having an anxious episode...panic attacks didn't start until I was 15. But during that time and other times in my life I have experienced the non reality feeling that you describe.
I believe that all that it is, is your body's chemicals are escalated...such as they talk about in the early lessons of the attacking anxiety program. So worrying about it and feeling more anxious cause adrenalin and other numerous chemicals to get a bit out of whack which leads to the feeling of non reality. That is why sometimes you feel normal, that is because you hadn't been particularly as anxious or worried during those periods and the levels of chemicals your body produced was lower at those times.
I know you said that you aren't having alot of anxiety, but you don't have to feel very anxious for your adrenalin level to go up a bit.
My obsessive thought was that I might be crazy and that everyone could see what I was doing, that I was really acting out a dream and everyone would see me making odd actions in the "real world". I know THAT reall sound nutty...but it is just an odd side effect of anxiety. I don't have that particular obsessive thought anymore, mainly because I realized if I were mentally Ill,I wouldn't even know it...once you can finally break it, it does go away.
I also used to feel like I was talking to someone and all of a sudden it was like I was in a dream, and that I was looking out a window that was in my head behind my eyes. I know that probably didn't make any sense and it probably sounded WAY weird too!! But that is the only way I could describe it! Now when I feel that way (which isn't very often) I just try to think it's only my body's chemicals reacting in a normal way to the fact that I may have had a second of discomfort or worry that triggered the way I fee. Then I distract myself and keep telling myself that distracting myself will eventually help me to lower my levels of adrenalin etc.
I hope something I said may help. Like I said. I too am just learning how to deal with all of this.
One thing is for sure....almost everyone here has had these same symptoms and it all boils down to anxiety to one degree or another! Isn't it comforting though to know that there are so many of us and you aren't alone and that YOU AREN'T crazy?!! Besides...if you had a serious mental problem you wouldn't have to worry about it because you wouldn't even know you had it!!
Take care!
Sara
Don't worry...you aren't going crazy! Although I too am working on this program and haven't even made it to lesson 10, I can share my experience with you.
I have been dealing with anxiety for many years...I can even remember back to being 5 and having an anxious episode...panic attacks didn't start until I was 15. But during that time and other times in my life I have experienced the non reality feeling that you describe.
I believe that all that it is, is your body's chemicals are escalated...such as they talk about in the early lessons of the attacking anxiety program. So worrying about it and feeling more anxious cause adrenalin and other numerous chemicals to get a bit out of whack which leads to the feeling of non reality. That is why sometimes you feel normal, that is because you hadn't been particularly as anxious or worried during those periods and the levels of chemicals your body produced was lower at those times.
I know you said that you aren't having alot of anxiety, but you don't have to feel very anxious for your adrenalin level to go up a bit.
My obsessive thought was that I might be crazy and that everyone could see what I was doing, that I was really acting out a dream and everyone would see me making odd actions in the "real world". I know THAT reall sound nutty...but it is just an odd side effect of anxiety. I don't have that particular obsessive thought anymore, mainly because I realized if I were mentally Ill,I wouldn't even know it...once you can finally break it, it does go away.
I also used to feel like I was talking to someone and all of a sudden it was like I was in a dream, and that I was looking out a window that was in my head behind my eyes. I know that probably didn't make any sense and it probably sounded WAY weird too!! But that is the only way I could describe it! Now when I feel that way (which isn't very often) I just try to think it's only my body's chemicals reacting in a normal way to the fact that I may have had a second of discomfort or worry that triggered the way I fee. Then I distract myself and keep telling myself that distracting myself will eventually help me to lower my levels of adrenalin etc.
I hope something I said may help. Like I said. I too am just learning how to deal with all of this.
One thing is for sure....almost everyone here has had these same symptoms and it all boils down to anxiety to one degree or another! Isn't it comforting though to know that there are so many of us and you aren't alone and that YOU AREN'T crazy?!! Besides...if you had a serious mental problem you wouldn't have to worry about it because you wouldn't even know you had it!!
Take care!
Sara
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Guest
Hi Lo'Ren,
For the longest time, I thought I was going crazy. I over analyzed what I did, how I was thinking and was so sure I was a cartified "loon".
So not true. My cousin has "S". I have seen her suffer with this for a long time. She does not acknowledge she has "S". She is so very sure everyone else has problems, needs therapy and medication. According to her, it is normal to wear saftey glasses all the time (to protect her eyes from baby spiders nesting in her eyes). She refuses to eat anything that has been opened as someone tampered with her food or drink. She has taped a knife to a yard stick to "kill" flies.(why not use a fly swater or a rolled up newspaper?) She gets very biligerant, disrespectful, unsocialable, ignorant, unable to care for yourself (shower, eat, clean) and has a very inflated self image of herself. In her mind, everyone else is crazy.
I was so afraid. I asked my therapsit and he said that if you think you are crazy, there is no way you are crazy. Crazy people do not think they are crazy, they do not see it. "S" is very, very distinguishable. She would not shower for weeks, she would not eat much, just smoke and drink coffee. She would hide in her room and not want to see anyone. She even says her meds do not help her. (by the way, they DO really help her, she just does not see it)
Do not worry. Anxiety makes us feel very vulnerable to so many things, this is all normal. Keep doing the program. You will feel better, it is all in baby steps. Be patient and loving with yourself. You will feel better. Warm wishes, LizB
For the longest time, I thought I was going crazy. I over analyzed what I did, how I was thinking and was so sure I was a cartified "loon".
So not true. My cousin has "S". I have seen her suffer with this for a long time. She does not acknowledge she has "S". She is so very sure everyone else has problems, needs therapy and medication. According to her, it is normal to wear saftey glasses all the time (to protect her eyes from baby spiders nesting in her eyes). She refuses to eat anything that has been opened as someone tampered with her food or drink. She has taped a knife to a yard stick to "kill" flies.(why not use a fly swater or a rolled up newspaper?) She gets very biligerant, disrespectful, unsocialable, ignorant, unable to care for yourself (shower, eat, clean) and has a very inflated self image of herself. In her mind, everyone else is crazy.
I was so afraid. I asked my therapsit and he said that if you think you are crazy, there is no way you are crazy. Crazy people do not think they are crazy, they do not see it. "S" is very, very distinguishable. She would not shower for weeks, she would not eat much, just smoke and drink coffee. She would hide in her room and not want to see anyone. She even says her meds do not help her. (by the way, they DO really help her, she just does not see it)
Do not worry. Anxiety makes us feel very vulnerable to so many things, this is all normal. Keep doing the program. You will feel better, it is all in baby steps. Be patient and loving with yourself. You will feel better. Warm wishes, LizB
Thanks Sara and Schnauzermom, I really apprecitae your positive insight about the subject. It really has helped me a lot. Also thanks to everyone in Chat who have listened to me on and on for a couple of days....This anxiety thing is really a tricky thing.... Glad you all helped me out!
The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God
Hi Lo'Ren. Just really quickly, I completely agree with Schnauzermom...crazy people don't know they're crazy. I used to think my anxiety would turn to "S", but after much much MUCH research and talking to doctors, they all confirmed that there is no correlation between Anxiety and "S". Those are two completely different things. Having one does not mean you will have another. Also, take comfort in the fact that specifically BECAUSE you are afraid of becoming "S", it means that you are not going to become "S"...it is just a scary thought. People who are "S" do not worry about having "S", they don't even realize it...and I guess thats a good thing, because if I had "S", and there was no full proof cure for it, I'd rather see the world as crazy and myself as sane 
You will get over this, it's just your anxiety latching onto something you fear. Anxiety tends to do that...once we conquer one fear, it jumps to something else. But its only anxiety...just anxiety...just anxiety...just anxiety...
You will get over this, it's just your anxiety latching onto something you fear. Anxiety tends to do that...once we conquer one fear, it jumps to something else. But its only anxiety...just anxiety...just anxiety...just anxiety... Lo'Ren,
I was so happy to see your post. Not happy that you are going through this, but happy because you describe how I feel right now. I can totally understand what you are going through. It's horrible and interfering with my everyday life. My doctor prescribed me 25mg of zoloft, but I am terrifed to take it because I was on lexapro for a few days and had a bad time with it. How long have you been on the celexa 20mg for? Do you think it has helped at all with your obsessive thought?
I am trying to work on the program, but can not concentrate on much else other than whether or not I am going crazy. I question every thought and action I do all day long to see if it fits in with a mental illness. It's very tiring. I am saying lots of prayers for us that we feel better soon and not like we are going crazy.
I was so happy to see your post. Not happy that you are going through this, but happy because you describe how I feel right now. I can totally understand what you are going through. It's horrible and interfering with my everyday life. My doctor prescribed me 25mg of zoloft, but I am terrifed to take it because I was on lexapro for a few days and had a bad time with it. How long have you been on the celexa 20mg for? Do you think it has helped at all with your obsessive thought?
I am trying to work on the program, but can not concentrate on much else other than whether or not I am going crazy. I question every thought and action I do all day long to see if it fits in with a mental illness. It's very tiring. I am saying lots of prayers for us that we feel better soon and not like we are going crazy.
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.....Mother Theresa
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Guest
HI LoRen,
YOu know I smiled when I read your post cause it reminded me of me at one time. You are not going crazy or delveloping a mental illness. Either you have it or you don't. The reason I smiled at this post as I was so steeped in my obsessive thought that even if I heard the word or someone else said the word I went to peices and started worrying. You have to come to the place that you learn to let the thought just go through your mind without adding the "on no" factor and what if factor. Say the thought is not my own and the reason it stays around is cause I attach danger to it and let it make me scared so then it stays longer and gets more ingrained. When you learn to let it just be there and ignore it and realize its an invader that your didn't invite in to stay. You will finally be able to hear the word and realize its no threat to you. You will be cured.
Hope this helps.
Sandra
YOu know I smiled when I read your post cause it reminded me of me at one time. You are not going crazy or delveloping a mental illness. Either you have it or you don't. The reason I smiled at this post as I was so steeped in my obsessive thought that even if I heard the word or someone else said the word I went to peices and started worrying. You have to come to the place that you learn to let the thought just go through your mind without adding the "on no" factor and what if factor. Say the thought is not my own and the reason it stays around is cause I attach danger to it and let it make me scared so then it stays longer and gets more ingrained. When you learn to let it just be there and ignore it and realize its an invader that your didn't invite in to stay. You will finally be able to hear the word and realize its no threat to you. You will be cured.
Hope this helps.
Sandra
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Guest
StressMess, Actually I'm on the 20 mg of Celexa, and I'm planning on talking to my doctor about going down to 10 mg again... I really want to come off the medicines quickly and try the more natural approach. I think that when I was on 10mg it made me feel alright, I might have been a little more nervous but that's before I really took in a lot of the skills from the program. In terms of obsessive thoughts, my therapist says its a great med for that, but she also said that Prozak was as well. I hope that kind of helps you a little.
But really I think you have to positive dialogue with yourself to get over these thoughts it takes some time to get used to it because you've done it with negative thoughts for so long, But I'm still working on a lot of stuff regarding this whole anxiety thing, I'm just happy that I was given some insight to my obsessive thought and hopefully I can move on in leave that thought out of my head.
But really I think you have to positive dialogue with yourself to get over these thoughts it takes some time to get used to it because you've done it with negative thoughts for so long, But I'm still working on a lot of stuff regarding this whole anxiety thing, I'm just happy that I was given some insight to my obsessive thought and hopefully I can move on in leave that thought out of my head.
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Guest
I don't know if this even pertains to your problem, but to get myself to think about other stuff, I have started Making and baking bread, now you don't have to go out and start baking your own bread, but maybe find something you enjoy to focus your attention away from your annoying thoughts. The busier I am the safer I feel lately. Im getting lots of stuff done and when I sit down at the end of the day, I put on my headphones and listen to the relaxation tape. Good Luck to you, your not alone!!!
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Guest