I went through the program this past winter/spring. It really helped me enjoy life more. I have everything going for me, so it seems by everyone else, but two weeks ago the obsessive thoughts started... for the first time in my life I think I determined where it came from (difficult job tasks, hardest class in my master's program, doing work on my house even though money is suddenly very tight, family issues). I felt myself getting anxious over a few days, then WHAM, the thoughts started. When I was young I had different thoughts, but for the past 10 years or so (I am 26 now) I have this obsession with my breathing. I focus on every breath and I have the worst headache from it. Why am I doing this? It has always stopped but it has also come back!
I'm trying to be positive and commend myself for pinpointing the feelings I had just before this last attack. Can someone give me pointers or some logical comfort?
Also, my boyfriend knows I have suffered from anxiety in the past, but how much do I tell him here? That I have weird thoughts to distract myself? Anyways, can someone give me comfort to help ease my obsessive thoughts? Also, how can I relax a little... I'm on edge lately!
it returned, how do I snap back out?
-
Guest
beranger,
I'm going through the same exact thing as you are. I finished the program in march and i was doing great. then came some changes in my life. I reconnected with an old girlfriend and i'm thinking about moving back to New York. I decided to go back and do the program over again, and i'm in session 2 right now. I too have the problem with the breathing obsession and i'm starting to feel better now. You should try and do the program over or just listen to session 2 for a couple of days. See how that works!!
Bill
I'm going through the same exact thing as you are. I finished the program in march and i was doing great. then came some changes in my life. I reconnected with an old girlfriend and i'm thinking about moving back to New York. I decided to go back and do the program over again, and i'm in session 2 right now. I too have the problem with the breathing obsession and i'm starting to feel better now. You should try and do the program over or just listen to session 2 for a couple of days. See how that works!!
Bill
-
Guest
Yes, that has definitely helped me a lot. Session three has helped too. I keep listening to both of those.
Helping others who are experiencing different problems that I have overcome seems to help also. It's as though it reminds me that I am strong.
I think we all assume our specific obsessive thought it worse than everyone else's, at least that's what I think. I always think 'mine is one that is always there', but then I have good moments (one minute to several hours) where I forget it, so it's obviously just like other obsessive thoughts, right? I need to remind myself that I will be ok and that it's just anxiety. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Do you blame your reoccurance on the stress of the potentially new relationship? How else, other than the tapes, are you addressing the issue and the anxiety?
Helping others who are experiencing different problems that I have overcome seems to help also. It's as though it reminds me that I am strong.
I think we all assume our specific obsessive thought it worse than everyone else's, at least that's what I think. I always think 'mine is one that is always there', but then I have good moments (one minute to several hours) where I forget it, so it's obviously just like other obsessive thoughts, right? I need to remind myself that I will be ok and that it's just anxiety. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Do you blame your reoccurance on the stress of the potentially new relationship? How else, other than the tapes, are you addressing the issue and the anxiety?
-
Guest
Also, regarding any relationship, how do you tell your significant other about the condition? My boyfriend knows a little bit, for instance, that I get edgy a couple times a year because I'm experiencing general stress. But do I say to him 'I have scary thoughts that I will forget how to breathe, or that I will force myself to breathe incorrectly and then pass out or just feel bad, and live in agony?" That just sounds crazy! Should I instead say 'I have general anxiety', or something along those lines? I mean, our obsessive thoughts all come from the same place, and I fear that talking about the specific fear sometimes makes it worse!
-
Guest
When the anxiety or scary thoughts return, I talk to it like an unwanted friend.
"Oh it's just you...well I haven't got all day...do what you need to do and get out..."
Don't fight it, let it do what it needs to do, even ask it to come back and hopefully it'll leave for good. I find when I challenge the fear/anxiety/stress and dare it to come back it often stays away!
"Oh it's just you...well I haven't got all day...do what you need to do and get out..."
Don't fight it, let it do what it needs to do, even ask it to come back and hopefully it'll leave for good. I find when I challenge the fear/anxiety/stress and dare it to come back it often stays away!
-
Guest
-
Guest
I haven't gone through the entire program yet, but I have been through anxiety-free times over the years and then have it come back. With what I know now, I will use the relaxation CD regularly, even when anxiety-free, and use it even more if I feel tension set in.
I'm also going to try to keep up the habit of journaling, and do that even more whenever I feel stressed.
I expect to have to maintain my emotional health with some of the techniques for the rest of my life...
My partner does not really understand anxiety, although I think he has it pretty severely - just in another form than I do. I have given him information in portions, and he's interested in the course and is going to listen to the CD that is for family and support system. He also mentioned listening to course CDs in the car on his way to work... I hope he will.
I'm also going to try to keep up the habit of journaling, and do that even more whenever I feel stressed.
I expect to have to maintain my emotional health with some of the techniques for the rest of my life...
My partner does not really understand anxiety, although I think he has it pretty severely - just in another form than I do. I have given him information in portions, and he's interested in the course and is going to listen to the CD that is for family and support system. He also mentioned listening to course CDs in the car on his way to work... I hope he will.
-
Guest
Yes, tell your boyfriend about what you experience. We have to love each other for who we are - not just surfacely but deeply. I hid anxiety from my husband for years and he could never understand why I was so distant. I was a wreck trying to hide it. Part of my healing was "coming out of the woodwork", so to speak. You begin to heal when you share what you go through.
You have your tools from the program. Use them. They are there for you to use anytime, anyplace. That's what they are there for. The review of specific tapes that pertain to your needs is a very good idea. Our brains need to hear things over and over and over again to finally "get something".
Taking the program is not about not having anxiety or obsessive thinking ever again. It's about not fearing it. It's about knowing what to do when it occurs from time to time. It's about knowing you can handle it. You'll find it occurs less and less with your shift in attitude towards it. Some say they never experience it again, so that's a possibility as well.
You're doing fine. Do share this. You will notice some calm because of it.
You have your tools from the program. Use them. They are there for you to use anytime, anyplace. That's what they are there for. The review of specific tapes that pertain to your needs is a very good idea. Our brains need to hear things over and over and over again to finally "get something".
Taking the program is not about not having anxiety or obsessive thinking ever again. It's about not fearing it. It's about knowing what to do when it occurs from time to time. It's about knowing you can handle it. You'll find it occurs less and less with your shift in attitude towards it. Some say they never experience it again, so that's a possibility as well.
You're doing fine. Do share this. You will notice some calm because of it.
-
Guest
I didn't really hide it from my DH and he always knew I was different but I think neither of us pegged it as an anxiety disorder. Every time we'd go out to visit people, or go to an event/function or new Church I'd go through that anxiety, this was through 18 years of marriage.
He supported me through the program but won't listen to the CDs. He just doesn't have it on his priority list. I had the partner CD on his desk forever, I think it's still there and I went through the program in January and finished by mother's day.
I think it's all the better if you do have your SO listen to them, though, if they are willing.
I'm now going through it a second time much more quickly as a review, I just listened to the one on expectations and really wish he would listen to that one!
He supported me through the program but won't listen to the CDs. He just doesn't have it on his priority list. I had the partner CD on his desk forever, I think it's still there and I went through the program in January and finished by mother's day.
I think it's all the better if you do have your SO listen to them, though, if they are willing.
I'm now going through it a second time much more quickly as a review, I just listened to the one on expectations and really wish he would listen to that one!
-
Guest
Thank you all for your advice. I did talk to him last night. I had just ordered one of Lucinda's books as a refresher on my nightstand. He saw me reading it and asked me about it, so it was a good segway 
He said he wants to be there for me. I explained that I get obsessive thoughts when I am not compassionate to myself (actually, when I beat myself up constantly for months at a time), and that I know these obsessions are just that, but they still cause me anxiety. I think he really understood, which is surprising because he is so laid back and NOTHING gets to him.
Right after we talked I had gotten to the part in 'From Panic to Power' where Lucinda first talks about meeting her husband. I read the paragraph out loud to him because it was as if she had written it about us... I am the one that worries about everything and I envy him for his positive 'nothing can get to me' attitude. It was actually a good bonding experience.
Relative to the breathing obsession... I was putting away clothes last night around 11:00 pm. I had just taken a very hard exam at school and had a very tough day at work. I had also just started my period (sorry guys) and was just overall exhausted. However, since I had spent time online with everyone earlier in the evening I felt like I was able to not overreact to tired/sad/anxious feelings. I told myself to relax and that focusing on my breathing in a negative way would not accomplish anything. I have realized this before, but only after I had crawled out of an anxious period purely as a result of time, or things slowing down in my life. I was able to be in the scary moment and actually come out of it with my thinking!
I think the important thing now (which I'm beginning to understand after spending some time in the peer support forums) is that I may experience little 'failures' (I know Lucinda doesn't like that word, but I feel it's a little more realistic in some situations). I used to get so down on myself when I had an axious/scary couple of weeks (which happened about two times per year, not including general anxiety a lot of the time, without obsessive thinking). I used to think 'here I go again... it always comes back, yadda yadda yadda'. But now I am seeing that I am not one of those people who can just snap out of it overnight for good. I have spent so many years learning behaviors that contributed to my anxiety, and therefore OF COURSE it's going to take me a little while to really master this.
I think the issue is that it takes my stress a long time to build up enough to knock me off my feet with anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I easily get in the habit of not practicing compasionate self talk, dealing with stress, and all of the other things the program teaches. It's like I need a reminder to practice these things!
He said he wants to be there for me. I explained that I get obsessive thoughts when I am not compassionate to myself (actually, when I beat myself up constantly for months at a time), and that I know these obsessions are just that, but they still cause me anxiety. I think he really understood, which is surprising because he is so laid back and NOTHING gets to him. Right after we talked I had gotten to the part in 'From Panic to Power' where Lucinda first talks about meeting her husband. I read the paragraph out loud to him because it was as if she had written it about us... I am the one that worries about everything and I envy him for his positive 'nothing can get to me' attitude. It was actually a good bonding experience.
Relative to the breathing obsession... I was putting away clothes last night around 11:00 pm. I had just taken a very hard exam at school and had a very tough day at work. I had also just started my period (sorry guys) and was just overall exhausted. However, since I had spent time online with everyone earlier in the evening I felt like I was able to not overreact to tired/sad/anxious feelings. I told myself to relax and that focusing on my breathing in a negative way would not accomplish anything. I have realized this before, but only after I had crawled out of an anxious period purely as a result of time, or things slowing down in my life. I was able to be in the scary moment and actually come out of it with my thinking!
I think the important thing now (which I'm beginning to understand after spending some time in the peer support forums) is that I may experience little 'failures' (I know Lucinda doesn't like that word, but I feel it's a little more realistic in some situations). I used to get so down on myself when I had an axious/scary couple of weeks (which happened about two times per year, not including general anxiety a lot of the time, without obsessive thinking). I used to think 'here I go again... it always comes back, yadda yadda yadda'. But now I am seeing that I am not one of those people who can just snap out of it overnight for good. I have spent so many years learning behaviors that contributed to my anxiety, and therefore OF COURSE it's going to take me a little while to really master this.
I think the issue is that it takes my stress a long time to build up enough to knock me off my feet with anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I easily get in the habit of not practicing compasionate self talk, dealing with stress, and all of the other things the program teaches. It's like I need a reminder to practice these things!