Scary Thoughts

Foster · Post by **Foster** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 8:37 am

As a single mother of 3 children for over 10 years and a breast cancer survivor, I've had plenty of stress which seems to fuel these scary thoughts. They are usually about my children, not about hurting them, but having thoughts about wanting things to happen to them. I know I would never hurt them, but, it has been very painful to wonder if I mean these things. Sometimes in all the stress, it seems like I don't feel much of anything. Anyone ever had anything similar?

MelMbrsl75 · Post by **MelMbrsl75** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:36 am

Good Morning Foster

You are not alone. There are thousands upon thousnads of people that struggle as you and I both do and this is normal!

I am a "recovering" scary thought person...lol if you can put it that way. I had obsessive scary thoughts about me harming my youngest child. I went through so much Foster, in my mind that is. It was a very scary time in my life and one that I will never forget, however, now I am blessed that I can help other people going through the same thing.

My scary thoughts went full blown after a very life altering situation happend in my marriage.I began to think I was nuts, and had every mental disorder in the books. After looking into what was going on and educating myself, life is better now and I just let the thoughts be there. They never go away, ever BUT you manage them. Please read IMP OF THE MIND Foster. Any books on OCD are great. I have read alot of them. We are all here for you

DerikForChrist · Post by **DerikForChrist** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:08 am

By acknowledging that these thoughts may mean something more, you are opening the floodgate for their return. You have to truly see them for what they are.. thoughts. Because you have anxiety or a physical reaction to the thoughts you believe they are something more. You also continue to test yourself to see if you still have this reaction to the thought. You're making them important in your own mind.

Hopeful in WV · Post by **Hopeful in WV** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 12:49 pm

My problem is I keep testing myself, I have a fear of going crazy, what can I replace that with, it has been a bad habbit since March of this year (also I had a breakdown because of this 12 yrs. ago, and a mini breakdown because of this 5 yrs. before that). What bothers me is (the "breakdowns always happen after I have been over stressed which I never seem to realize until I start having panic and anxiety and then that fear of losing my mind, with ocd it is so easy to get "stuck" in those habits. I am a faithful Christian and read my Bible,, pray constantly. I think why it is worse this time is that after the one 12 yrs ago ( I wasn't hospitalized ever, just on meds) I just magically started getting into the moment and the thoughts went away, I never believed they would come back again. That is what scared me the most this year, I was actually in shock for the first 2 months and almost immobile. To go from such a long stretch of peace of mind to total fear and terror again, I never thought I would ever be that way again. How do I trust myself after this? What am I supposed to learn from this? Why does this thought bother me so? The pull is so much stronger this time. I would love any advice, you can even call me at (304)464-4856. I have to get out of this "rut" and back to the happy, normal thinking me. And soon. I don't like being depressed and sad (depression does run in my family). I even have a personal coach and for some reason my mind is not letting this go easily this time. The more I try to focus on other things (because I'm afraid if I think of it too much it will happen, it's already made me a nervous wreck) the worse it gets. I have really put myself in a bad situation this time.

DerikForChrist · Post by **DerikForChrist** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:43 pm

I think everyone with anxiety have/has had those same fears. See it for what it is, just a habit, born from fear and fatigue. What exactly is a breakdown? Nothing more than thoughts. You telling yourself you cannot go on. No nerves physically break down, you do not die, go crazy or lose your mind. No nervous breakdown is worse than the other and really there is no such thing as a breakdown.

Because you have experienced these "breakdowns" in the past, you are afraid of the way you feel when you have these so-called breakdowns. Have you ever asked yourself why you're afraid of it? Are these sensations and feelings really that bad? You always come out of it and you always live through it.

STOP adding second fear to these thoughts! Sit back and observe the thoughts, let them come. Try not to be so distressed by them. Accept them, float through them. Stop saying "Oh my goodness!" or "I'm going crazy" to every thought that runs through your mind. If you stop adding this second fear, you give your body time to calm itself.

You overcame this in the past by no longer caring about the thoughts. Cured by interest.

I'm not asking you to trust yourself. I'm saying trust what I'm telling you. You are sensitized and you are having physical reactions (panic/anxiety) to thoughts. You keep adding "Oh my goodness!" to these thoughts and keep the cycle going. Let that first thought come, don't fight it!!! Accept it. But do not add to this thought.

What do you learn from this? You learn to stop fearing the thoughts, you face these thoughts and physical feelings and you move forward, right through them.

This thought bothers you so much because you have a foundation belief of "Something more is wrong with me than OCD/Anxiety/Panic/Depression." And you're searching for some cause to this, some outside source doing this to you, when in fact, you're doing it to yourself. Your body and mind will react to what you believe about yourself. You're sending the message to your body that "Something more is wrong with me." or "I'm going crazy." or "This is not the real me. I have to get back to my old self."

Accept this for what it is. You are very sensitized right now from all the anxious brooding. You must desensitize yourself by facing the fear, accepting your current state, floating through the physical symptoms, and stop TRYING so hard to get your mind off yourself. You'll lose that battle.

You are not in a crisis or a "bad place" once again, these are thoughts, not reality. You make your own crisis by believing these thoughts. PM me anytime if you need help. Best of luck to you. You can do it!!

Hopeful in WV · Post by **Hopeful in WV** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:36 pm

Thank you for your wisdom. I know you are right. There are times through the day where I know I am fine, just disturbed me to feel nervous, and anxious again. I thought I was done with that for life. I am glad I joined StressCenter. I pray for us all every night. Life is wonderful and it is so much better when you aren't worried and scared, I am going to make a tape to listen to of times I've felt the most peaceful in my life to get used to feeling peace again, instead of fear. God bless us all. Bye, Debbie