i cant cope with death

Mom of 6 · Post by **Mom of 6** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 11:13 am

Hello Everyone:
I have read all the posts on this subject.
I can't think of what to say that would help anyone of you.
I do understand your sorrow at the loss of loved ones and of pets. It truly is a great sorrow.
I am 78. I have diabetes and cheat on my diet
frequently. So likely I may not have too many years yet. But I don't find it freightening at
all. Not at the moment. Maybe when the time comes I will be afraid.
I think that death may be like birth. I think maybe we just go into another realm. Due to may faith, I think that realm will be with a loving heavenly Father. So it seems like something to anticipate. But not that I'd want it to happen sooner than God plans it.
I think when I leave this world that I will just step into another. A more wonderful world.
In that world there won't be any anxiety and no
depression. It is a "world" that we really can't imagine in our finite minds.
Reading some in Psalms might quiet some of your fears.
But I'm not a doctor - I don't know that.
However, I empathize with you and wish you peace! And blessings galore!
Cornflower (Mary Jane)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:15 am

Out of all of the posts, this one really hit home for me. Thanks for sharing Sammydoo. I too have a fear of death. My whole OCD thing started when I was in my early twenties, with knives and fearing that I would hurt somebody. I learned how to cope with these obsessive thoughts and many years went by. Then, Out of nowhere, 3 months ago, the thoughts about death have been stuck in my obsessive mind. I find myself zoned in on death and what happens when we die. What is it like? Are our minds just erased? As I spiral deeper into the thoughts, it freaks me out.

My family was not religious so I do not have a real connection with faith. Is this what I need?

Sammydoo, this is what I'm doing at the moment to help me, though I still have a long way to go... For this obssessive thought, I have recognized it and I am doing everything I can to get over it. It has been 3 mos, but I don't want to look back after 5 years and say, "look at all the wasted time". I try to live in the present moment and try not to think so much of the inevitablity of death (easier said than done I know). I have sought the help of an OCD therapist, and she has given me some techniques to get the gears unstuck so to speak. Try replacing the scary thoughts of death with ones of a peaceful place. This helps me get the thoughts unstuck because it's the fear that keeps us obssessing. Try to come up with phrases that help you to stop obsessing, like, without death there is no life, or be happy to be alive. I hope this helps. Steven

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 11, 2007 11:08 am

I'm very sorry for the loss of your brother and pet. I had to put my cat of 11 years to sleep a year ago for the exact same reason. It was heartbreaker but the grieving process was important and I got through it. One important thing to realize is that being through these traumatic events, you will think about death. It sounds like talking to a professional grief counselor or therapist will help you get through this. Hope you feel better.

honeydew3 · Post by **honeydew3** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 8:59 am

Hi everyone. I know it's been a couple of months since the last post but I just wanted to share that you all are not alone with this fear. I started this fear when I was 8 years old shortly after the death of my 8 year old cousin. She died of an enlarged heart and I guess I took it hard. My mom says that I feared the same thing happening to me but eventually I feared that loved ones would die. I have this fear still. Anxiety is usually triggered when I'm sick or when a loved one is sick and I start to fear that they'll die from the common cold. I have strong belief in God and living for eternity in heaven one day. We all have something we draw our calmness from and God's word happens to be that for me. Hope everyone is healing from their losses...

'

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:46 am

This is exactly what I'm going thru! I thought I was the only one.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:42 am

My daughters and I lost one of our cats last spring during the cat/dog food scare. We thought that we'd never get over losing him but with all of the positive self talk that i'd been doing I finally stopped crying after a couple of months and I had enough skills to really comfort my daughters and to teach them how to comfort themselves with positive self talk. I would cry whenever someone mentioned him and whenever something reminded me of him (which almost everything did).

The day he died I kept hearing his sound around me, as clear as anything, and I was always hearing him in my kitchen where he used to eat. I would feel him brush against me as he use to do, when I would look down, there would be no cat there. I also have another cat and she use to run and play with something invisible all of the time.

I use to feel so guilt about everything. I would wonder if I had rubbed him or played with him enough.

I use to wonder if he was okay and I think he let us know that he is.

DeeDee.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:51 am

Sammydo, It's very hard to lose a pet and I am so sorry you are going through that grief. It is normal for that to trigger your own fears about death, many people go through that. I lost my beloved cat of 17 years only 3 months ago so I know the grief is so hard. But let the tears come and you will be healed!

Belief in God is the only effective way of combatting fears of death. God created you and the Christian belief has always been that the soul is immortal and lives forever, with God, after death. Jesus Christ promised us that if we believe in Him, and we eat his flesh and drink his blood at the Catholic Mass, that we will live with Him forever. Turn to Christ and take comfort with Him. That is what I did when I feared death, and my life was forever transformed. Make an act of Faith in Jesus Christ and see what happens!

Sammydoo, you are in my prayers, today, for your healing from this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 1:59 pm

I am relieved to hear someone else shares this fear that I have had since very young. I still freak out about it if I think about it too much, and I don't know how to fix it or make it go away. I would welcome any help in this area also. My grandmother has died 2 x and came back, she assures me there is nothing to fear and it is beautiful. My father passed 8 yrs ago and he visits me often in my dreams. I also get very worried about death when I am sick and I do have a chronic illness, rheumatoid arthritis, so I am always anxious about what the future holds. Any advice on how to deal with the fear of death is welcome. take care.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:56 pm

I have also suffered tragic loss of loved ones. Three family members died young and tragically within 3 years. That is when I began having full-blown panic attacks. I feel for your losses and pray you can find peace.

I have found my religious beliefs do definately help me. Knowing my departed loved ones are in a peaceful and happy place is comforting. I still struggle with obsessing over death of myself or other family members. How would I deal with it if it happened again? Would I be able to cope and carry on? I hope to find help with Lucinda's program (I am just starting out).

Good luck and God Bless.