Stress Center Peer Support

Hi,
I have anxiety from "what if's" and from my own scary thoughts, but I have a lot of very negative experiences that affect me also. To give you an idea of some of them: my Mother was an alcoholic and either ignored me, or verbally abused me; my first husband was very verbally and physically abusive; my son was born with a birth defect therefore I spent the first 15 years of his life taking him to doctors and hospitals; my second husband is an alcoholic and verbally abusive; my daughter has a personality disorder and has caused continual upsets. It seems to be plain that I would be anxious and depressed after all of this doesn't it? How do I turn that around? It's not imagined, it's real. Now my doctors are telling me I have to leave my second husband or I will never get better! I am scared....I am 61 and after 27 years with this man I want to go....but I'm scared out of my mind! How do I deal with this...does anyone know?

Thx, JayBee7

Hi Jaybee,

I just logged on and saw your post. I really feel for you....your anxiety IS real and justified, but it does not mean you cannot get through it. You are a strong individual - and you are in a situation that you can turn around and overcome. As a lot of people state, often times you cannot choose the situation you are in - but you can choose how you react to it! You need to take this one day at a time and allow yourself to make decisions that are right for YOU and your children. Use the skills that are in this program to get yourself to a state of mind to where you can make the most appropriate decision. In terms of how to get through this - ONE day at a time. Allow yourself to feel scared and go through all of your emotions. Its only natural - especially in your situation. If you have some close friends around, confide in them as well. Friends and family can make a world of difference....even if they are the people on this site! The what ifs can feel overwhelming - but remember that positive self talk and relaxing will only help you make decisions to start to turn your life around.

Remember that we are all here for you!
Rob

So Jay,
Do you want to leave your husband or do you think as you progress in the program you would see an improvement in the situation? How long have you been in the program?

One of the best things about this program is meeting the strong you that lives within yourself. If you want to stay with your husband then work through things with your new tools. At this point you don't want to make any major life changes until you complete the program.

Keep your committments to yourself and keep working the program - it will help you find your answers that are within yourself and your fears will nolonger rule over you.

Hang in there, we look forward to your success!
My Peace

Hi Bob and Scrappymom,
I answered you, but my message seems to have gone out into cyberspace, never to be seen again!

Thank you so much for replying to my email. You are both so supportive and caring it makes me feel like someone cares. I have friends but I don't talk about my problems with them. I have one friend I can talk to, but I don't really feel that she needs anymore on her plate right now. Her husband just found out he has Alzheimer's.

I am on Session 3 and am enjoying the program. I have found my panic attacks have gone from several a day to 1 every couple of days. I believe this will program will help me a great deal.

I want to leave my husband. The program will not change him. He is an alcoholic and is verbally abusive. The program will give me strength (I am hoping) to deal with that process. I appreciate the advise you both have given me. I think you are right, I will give the program more time to work on me, and take it one step at a time.

If I can help you out with advise or just being there when you need someone, I will be there.
Thx so much, JB