Stress Center Peer Support

Hi all- just starting the program again after a year....went 9 weeks, got better, and quit. Needless to say, here I am again...I didn't put it all into practice.

Anyway, my question for everyone is this: I'm 43, and look MUCH younger - however - my hair is starting to thin like crazy. I've always been an extremely egotistical person, and to be honest, I had a Samson complex...my hair was like power to me. (sounds crazy? probably!!)
I was a very successful musician, and my look was everything.
Now that I'm not playing anymore, I still need that attention, but with the thinning hair, my self-esteem is getting smaller and smaller - to the point where I'm considering getting a hair transplant. (I realize I called it "body modification", but honestly, it's the same thing, yeah?)

A friend I met in China recently told me I didn't need to do that - he said "if you feel good about yourself, the hair won't matter."

It made sense...and I'm wondering - has anyone else gone through anything like this? Men with their hair (or weight) or women with body issues...people who have completed the program and decided that they were fine the way they were?

Michael

Hi Michael -

When I turned 30, I just was finalizing a divorce, I came out as gay, and I needed to start dating again. Talk about self image problems! I started losing my hair when I was about 20 and always was self conscious about it. I ultimately paid $2,000.00 for services from the Hair Club for Men. It took several months for them to make a hair piece for me and that gave me a lot of time to think about my life. One week before my appointment to be fitted, I canceled my order. At that point, I could only get half my money back, so I lost $1000.00 in the process.

What I realized is that I didn't need the hair. It just wasn't important. Anyone that thought it was important was someone I didn't need in my life anymore. The hair was really just a physical manifestation of my own insecurities. Getting "new hair" wasn't going to fix that. I needed to deal with my own inner demons and once I made peace with myself, my hair has become a non issue. I now shave my head and am perfectly happy with it. It's so easy to take care of and I can get out of bed ready to go!

The bottom line is that your friend is absolutely spot on. Don't fix the hair, fix your self image. The hair is just a symptom. I had to spend a grand to learn that lesson! Between a man with great hair and one with strong self confidence, the one that is most happy in life is not the one with the great hair...

Jamie