I'm starting the program again. The funny thing is that I only got the program a little over a month ago. I already started it and then let it fall to the wayside. I want to feel better and I know that this program will help me. I just need to get motivated and focus on myself.
Right now, I've been obsessed with an incident that happened about 3 weeks ago now. That is actually what made me stop the program. Someone broke into our house while we were sleeping and stole my purse and some other items. All of the stolen items belonged to ME. None to my husband or kids. Only MY stuff. Well, some of my "stuff" included my workbook, my carrying cards and my journal with all of my feelings, moods, thoughts, etc. in it. Now, I must say that I do feel safe knowing that if anyone read my thoughts, they would realize that I'm totally insane and it would be best if they not come back to my house again... Trust me, I was brutally honest in my journaling and I'm sure I sound completely certifiable in my writings. It just bothers me that someone I didn't allow has access to my private thoughts and feelings. I feel extremely violated, and I realize that is to be expected in this situation.
Anyway, I've been so bummed about that happening and the fact that I lost all of my work. I was really working the program before this happened. I had scoured the message boards and gotten some great tips, motivational ideas, etc. from the boards. My journal not only had my thoughts and feelings in it, I had inserted the stuff I found on the boards and on the StressCenter.com website into my journaling. Now, it seems I can't find all of the good stuff I had found before. I feel defeated and like I can't even take the program seriously anymore. I have been totally stressed about all of this. My husband knows that my obsessive worrying has gotten worse since this happened. I check the locks at least 10 times every night. I worry that my husband will go outside and smoke and forget to lock the door when he comes back in. I worry that somehow, they will get in again and take even more stuff this time. I worry that next time, someone in my family will get hurt. I mean if someone is so desperate to come inside my house while I am sleeping, then who knows what they would do if someone woke up and confronted them?! I've had to educate my children about coming to get us if they hear someone in the house...something that scared them to no end. I'm doing all of this because some lazy punk is too LAZY to get a freaking job!!! I'm angry about this and want someone to pay.
I lost so much when this happened...my cell phone, my journal, a prayer book I had (I really loved that book!!), my Zune MP3 player, my Nintendo DS, my digital camera, my NEW PURSE I had just bought the day before our house was broken into... I mean, why did this happen to me? I go to church, I tithe and I am the first one you can ask for help. Heck, if whoever did this had knocked on my door, I would have given them whatever I had to help them. I've done it before, so why steal??
To top things off, we don't have renters insurance, so I'm out about $2000 worth of stuff that was taken...again, it was only my stuff. (I'm still peeved about that one!!)
Well, I guess I said all of that to say, I'm starting over and I need prayer to get a good attitude about this. I need someone to tell me what I can do to let go of the hurt and anger I'm feeling about the burglary and to not obsess over it anymore...any ideas?
Starting over....again
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Guest
I'm sorry that happened. That is indeed a frightening experience. It's only been 3 weeks so I do not think you should expect to be completely over it. You are working on it. You came here on the board, addressed the issue and you're willing to "get back on the horse" and start over. That's great! You had success the first time you worked with the program so it's very likely you will gain even more insight now.