Finally Getting it.

[ali04]

Hello everyone. I have been on here at diff. times feeling sad and blue and hurt by others or feeling lonely. Well I think after all the encouragement etc. it is sinking it. I have to be the one to make the changes or it will always be the same feelings. So I pulled out my cd's last week and began listening to them. I need advice on a routine to follow as I haven't really gone to the workbook but I have listened repeatedly to the 1st cd. I want to get better and am ready for the challenge. It is so difficult overcoming all the negatives things I have told myself for too long. Anyways on sat. I went to the mall by myself (driving was also a issue, especially freeways) I can't find the courage there. anyways and I went to starbucks in the mall and was behind 3 young ladies and I was looking up at the menu to decide what to order when they turned around and I guess the one smiled at me and I must not have smiled because I was so consumed in reading what I wanted and anyways she very loudly said some people are so f...... happy and some other things. I got a lump in my throat and started sweating like thinking oh I can't beleive she said that and it was directed at me. So I ordered and sat waiting for my name to be called and when I got up and looked at the girl I guess who said it I smiled. Well she glared and told her friends oh now she wants to smile or something like that and said some other things which forgot what was said because I felt so uncomfortable. I got my stuff and walked off and it hurt me because I wasn't even trying to be rude. Anwyays I remembered some of the tools about not letting things effect you and don't give the other person the power to make you feel bad. What a learning lesson as I was just minding my own bus. and then thinking I must come across to people as looking mad etc. well here I am just wanting to vent but I feel like I am getting it as hard as it is. I tend to always worry about what people think of me and I over analize and it is not healthy, I just have to put the big stop sign up. Thanks for listening.

[Guest]

Yes, you ARE getting it! Good for you when you were able to recall some of the information from the sessions. That's what it's all about, catch yourself when you begin to get anxious or start to think negative thoughts... replace the negative with positive thoughts. I've just started session three and I'm pleased about how my outlook and mood changes for the better when I am more positive in my outlook. We can all conquer this if we are persistent. It's nice to have a forum to come to also, to read others' experiences and know we are not alone in all of this. Congrats on YOUR accomplishment at the mall, give yourself a nice 'pat on the back.'