This is where I am, I am not ashamed!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:40 pm

I hope you're right about God. I try to pray, but I often feel like no one is on the other end...

That's cool about the group therapy. Are you excited, scared, or both? I've often thought about doing some sort of group therapy. I did some when I was first having problems in my teens, but nothing since. I'm not sure where to look in my area to see if there is anything offered and if there is, I'm not sure I can drive there!

BTW, your pic makes you look a bit like a super-hero. Do you have an arch-nemesis?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:43 am

Cute response. Sure my arch-nemesis is gumbi-Sarumon, it is very difficult to take him down, he is too dodgy and he just reattaches when sliced in half.

I'm excited for the most part but slightly afraid. I know that i have alot to offer in the group, i'm afraid i may end up trying to take it over though. I've never been to that kinda group therapy before so this is a first.

On a side note, one of the nurses was talking to someone in the building who specializes in CBT and he talked her into meeting up with me at 2:30. This is exciting!! I'll fill you in later.

Mike aka Ninjafrodo

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:30 pm

LOL. I think my arch-nemesis is PanicMan. He uses his anxiety ray to make your body do weird things and make you question yourself and your ability to cope. He can only be stopped by a Xanax burst.

On the serious side, I'm sure you'll do fine in group. And that's great about the CBT therapist. Just keep working towards your goals.

Good luck,
JB

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 1:36 pm

It was nothing specific but she may be able to refer me to a cbt therapist. She said they would be good for the exposure aspect. Like slowly getting you back into say socializing or something like that. I told her about how the psychiatrist is thinking of sending me to the other location and about the group therapy and she said I'd do very well in the group. She was even amazed by the ammount of experience i have with CBT. It was cool!

PanicMan eh? One day you will have immunity against his anxiety ray.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:36 pm

I'm glad it worked out for you. It sounds like you've been through a lot of training already.

If you don't mind me asking, did you go through ups and downs with your anxiety or did has it always been about as bad as it is now?

In my case, I started with simple panic attacks when I was about 15. It wasn't until I was 17 that I developed agoraphobia, and that I think was triggered by a medication I was taking for a bad asthma attack. I was housebound for about a year (missing a year of high school), but worked with a psychiatrist, an anxiety class, and a school counselor. After the year, I was able to get back into school and continue a relatively normal life.

About three and a half years ago, I had a really bad series of panic attacks around Christmas. That started me heading downhill again and I started restricting where I went, but I was still fairly functional. Then again around Christmas of last year I really started to fall apart. Within the last seven months or so, I've nearly become housebound again. I only will drive to work with my Mom (how embarrassing), who is my safe person, and will only stay at work if she is in the building (even more embarrassing and emasculating). As I mentioned earlier, I finally decided to take a leave of absence to try and stop the descent and get a handle on my panic. In a nutshell, I was good, then bad, then good, then bad again. It's like I've forgotten how to use everything I learned the first time.

Again I don't mean to pry, but did you have a similar experience? Has anything worked well for you?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:58 pm

Ya you could say i got alot of trainning. Within CBT, Western & Eastern medicine and Stress theory.

My anxiety has decreased over the years but it was the worst when i was in highschool. I had alot more things that i was struggling to deal with back then. I also had alot less power than i do now.

Don't be embarassed. People suffering with anxiety and depression to the extent you shared would need help from others. You obviously can trust your mother and so it is normal for you to pick her. This does not make you less of a person in any means.

Mine still goes up and down but it is alot more up than when i was in highschool. Many things have worked for me, this program especially has helped me out tremendously and was the foundation for my recovery. Everything else just added to it. I do not feel comfortable at this time giving you a list of all the things as this can easily become very overwhelming. Plus we can use this as motivation to keep you going on this program. When you finish the last lesson, PM me and i'll tell you more.

Mike aka Ninjafrodo

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:32 pm

Fair enough. But you know, now I'm going to be obsessing all night now about what you won't tell me, LOL!

Yeah, high school sucked for me too. Since I took a year off and in a cruel twist of fate, I actually got two invitations to my 10-year high school reunion (one for each year). Needless to say, I didn't attend either...

Fifteen weeks. All of a sudden that sounds like a long, long time. But time is one thing I have a lot of and I have no doubt that I'll finish the program and be much better for the experience.

Thanks for the encouragement (notice how I've cleverly turned things to all about me

- I'm pretty tricky that way),
Jamie

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:42 am

15 weeks does sound like a lot. It can be overwhelming if you look at it that way, just as overwhelming as looking at everything you must do in order to have a vacation. You aren't doing all these lessons in 1 day or even 1 week. Just plan to do the one less and then after plan to do the next lesson.

Yeah i noticed. Alot of people do that so i'm used to it

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:08 am

LOL! I'll try to do better. Keep us posted on how thing are going for you.

Take care,
JB

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:59 pm

Cool but don't fall into the trap that i'm saying you SHOULD do this. I'm saying it would probabbly benefit you more to look at it the way i suggested as opposed to looking at having to do everything at once.

Mike