My Onion

[NinjaFrodo]

I'm glad you aren't dwelling on the lack of thank you. Dwelling only makes us miserable (i'm actually doing dwelling right now...well trying not to).

Thank you, I agree and I do feel good about myself for sticking up for me.

Yeah they really do run out of friends but unless something really big happens to make them realize...they do end up lonely old people. I wouldn't wish that upon anybody. I actually spend time in the morning wishing a brighter future for everybody, including him. It seems to make a huge diffrence in treatment, i'm hoping it will do the same outside of treatment too.

I'm sure you are already on your way to making how you responded a habit. It would be a very good habit!

Oh my god are there ever alot of sufferers. You don't realize it until you end up going through the program. Alot of these people also do not admit to this and act all big and tough. It's a weakness for them. So many of them are on the path to becoming anxious and depressive sufferers too unfortunately. And your right we have taken it waaaaaay too far.

I was actually amazed when you said you did the humor thing automatically. When you use the 6 steps were you adding the humor there too?

The program has done alot for you. I've gotten alot out of the program myself over the last 6 years. Like you I've changed alot of my thoughts, my reactions and i'm more positive and less scared but I just ignored the 6 steps every time i did the program. I thought it was too hard and kept telling myself its not going to help and I can't do it. So I haven't yet reached the same level you have but the lessons are deeply ingrained into my head!

I think it'll most likely be something like the 15th or 20th time. Something like that. I'm comitting to using the 6 steps this time though. That would be cool if we did it at the same time. Each lesson i'm on, I like to post things in that lesson's section on the forums so it would be nice to have someone else in the same place as me.

Lol you used your lesson 2 card that much eh? Ya i lost mine! But yes your right it is great for general anxiety, worry and anger. I'm going to use it anytime i get a strong negative feeling which will be alot right now. I have a couple of friends that are actually starting to drift away and I considered them to be really good friends. I used to see them every weekend last summer but well this time i barely see them and they don't even make time for me anymore. They don't call and I have less contact with them on facebook and msn. I got really upset when I found out they were hanging out with some other people I know plus the guy who i've had such a hard time dealing with. I felt left out, unwanted and unloved. It's making me miserable and so I think now is a very good time I start back with the program again. They haven't completely cut themselves out of my life but are distancing themselves and so I have to look at the reality that they might not be my friends forever and I just got to let go. Let go of my expectations and my dependancy on them as well as the fear of them leaving. Thats a tough thing because I have abandonment issues because of my family abandoning me.

My limitations...well partially socializing (I socialize but I am not comfortable doing it and am afraid to be myself), working (I'm afraid I would not be able to leave if i needed to and i'm afraid i would become exhausted), driving (not like i have a car anyways), public speaking, confrontations and I think thats about it. I've worked on other limitations before and made alot of progress. At one time i was agoraphobic and was terrified of other people, I've also been a smoker before too.


Mike

[THH]

Yea, I'm not dwelling. I feel its not over either. But I am not going to let my mind get obsessed with thoughts of any of it. As I can't make people be considerate of my feelings.

I call that praying, wishing good thoughts, realizing that I am not in control of everyone even myself, something so much bigger is in control and I can say I believe that those good thoughts are of love. So many times we read that GOD is love. I believe it does help.

It would be a good habit. I'm trying...

On the 6 steps, no I didn't make it a habit to put humor in there. I just always reassured my self that I'm ok. And I needed to really feel in my gut, that I'm my own safe person. I did use some humor with dumb stuff I would do, or think and kinda laugh at my self for taking things so serious. I know I can be very serious but I don't have to live in that state.
You lost your card. Maybe you can print this out, and carry it.

It's ok to be anxious. I'm ok.
Body symptoms are uncomfortable, but there is no danger.
I have tools to control panic.
I can handle sad feelings.
I AM MY SAFE PLACE. I AM HOME.
It's ok to relax now.
I can share my feelings and thoughts.
It always passes.
I am strong, courageous, and capable.
My new skills are working.

Deal With Panicky Feelings:
1. ACCEPT - float don't fight.
2. PERMISSON - I know what this is.
3. BREATH - inhale2, exhale 4.
4. INNER DIALOGUE - positive, comforting.
5. DISTRACT -action,mental and physical for at least fifteen minutes.
6. LET TIME PASS - discomfort always passes.
FEAR= FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

Yea, I still carry my cards. I really like them.

I have found, in my life, friends drift in and out. Your in that age bracket when it first starts to really happen. People get married, have kids, jobs, just life and it breaks them away. It don't really mean that they don't care it just means they move on. I always would see my old friends here and there but it was never quite the same. On the other side, I met some new people and we got to be friends, not really the same as the old but different again. All good though. It may be a good thing. Time will tell.
I also did not have abandonment issues with my family, but I have felt that way when friends move on. Also they might be friends forever, passing in and out of your life, so rather than thinking of them as leaving, maybe think of them as growing in a new direction. You may be in a new direction too, just different. Remember everything changes. I felt like a little kid, who never grew up. Always a adult to consult with or I could go to. My safe people. Slowley mine all have died except my husband. My parents are too old to help me anymore. I help them. I am becoming the adult.( at 52 do ya think???LOL...) I now realize I am my safe person. Talk about a slow learner!

You want to be your self. You will attract people who will really like you for you that way. Mike, you have socialized with me perfectly. You have manors, your funny, have great advise, all good!

confrontations I can't say much. I'm still working on that one myself. We will work though these things and help each other on the way.
I'll do the program over again with ya. Wait another week though, I'm taking my 2nd week off, sorta testing myself on what I am solid with and what I need work on.
Have a good one!

[NinjaFrodo]

You know it was because of your post about how you had a negative thought creep in that made me look at really going back into the program and made me look at the 6 steps again. I have gotten obsessed alot lately with diffrent things like anger. I started to use the breathing technique as well as the positive self talk when i would feel these strong feelings and it really does work! There is no way i couldn't recover if i keep doing the 6 steps on a daily basis but boy is it every challenging.

Ya i guess that in a way is praying and ya i believe those good thoughts are love as well. I'm not one that believes in GOD but whatever works for someone works and they need to follow that.

Wow well i asked about the humor because that is actually one of the steps in the 6 steps in my version of the program. That info you gave about the card is definately diffrent. They have obviously updated the cards

My cards said something about accepting, giving permission, breathing, self-talk, distraction and humor. I remember thinking it would be impossible to do all those things so i had given up on the 6 steps alot. I will write those down and maybe we should compare cards.

This is the wisdom eh? Ya I guess your right.

I'm sorry that your safe people have all died. I can't even imagine my friends dying its really scary. I guess you kinda hafta be your own safe person. I'm still working on it myself.

Socializing over the net is easy. Its more in person that is hard. I struggle with the talking aspect of it. Online i can talk about anything and I don't have to worry about rehearsing what i'm going to say in my head. In person I am really anxious and my sense of creativity goes out the window and I just struggle to get through the conversation. I become more spacy and have a harder time paying attention and listening to what is being said. But thank you for all those good compliments about my manors and humor and advice.

Ok that sounds good. I'm skipping lesson 1 and going to spend 2 weeks on lesson 2 then. It'll be a fun experience.

I will have a good one and you too,


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

Wow i didn't realize how many anxiety attacks i've had in a day.

I've been working with the 6 steps and its intresting what i find. Just yestaurday I had at least 5 anxiety attacks just about meeting my friend at a certain time. I also had a few while talking to her, I had another while trying to get to hip-hop class and i had several during hip-hop class and several while walking home. I was able to do the 6 steps for some of them and they really do help out. I'm actually amazed how i didn't recognize this stuff earlier.


Mike

[T-roy]

I like the metaphor for the onion. That is what it feels like for me too. I have been trying very hard to catch all of my negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones. It seems to get easier with practice.

[NinjaFrodo]

Well thank you, it has been a long process full of many layers. This is like a Gigantic Onion.

It isn't easy in the beginning to do that T-roy but your right it gets easier with practice and alot easier when you keep up with the relaxation as well. Your mind becomes clearer and the thoughts more obvious, not to mention you become more creative and figure out quicker what it is that will make you feel better.

I'm noticing using the breathing technique for a few breaths and then the self-talk makes it a huge diffrence and the self-talk doesn't even need to be very detailed. Up until this point I would just use the thought replacement on paper for all the thoughts that i caught (which was alot) and I could easily write a spiral notepad page for one thought. Now I just use the breathing and say a few sentences to myself and i'm all better.

I've used the 6 steps at least 30 times today...25 of those times being at the gym in between sets because i was overwhelming myself looking at everything i had planned to do while i was there.

There will be a new thread coming out which i'm going to create so keep your eyes open for that one.


Mike

[THH]

Boy you said that right, it is a challange! But it is worth all the work because you really feel the pay off. Maybe not every day but sometimes it really feels like your making progress!

We should compare cards, I have the newer version. Simple truths posted a utube video and Steve had a older book. Mine are smaller books, like 3 sessions in a book. Its probably very close the same stuff though.

Yea, I guess you can call it wisdom!!! LOL... Just a observation I have seen in my lifetime that seams to be on a coarse that most of us ride through. It is sad that so many have crossed over. But who knows, maybe its better over there!!! And I can say that alot of great ones are there so when my time comes I'll know alot of them! I think thats why I got so obsessed on my health. Fear! But really I discovered I'm not afraid of the what ever, I'm worring about getting something!
I feel better about being my safe person. I'm not super solid on that but I am so much more comfortable with it. I know I will be ok, what ever happens. Thats great for me.

So good that you worked through while talking with your friend!!! That is what you have to practice. And its good your realized at the right time, you are having anxiety, grab your tools, and start applying them, feeling those symptoms go away, and be delighted that you managed great! I know it does work....
I have had anxiety doing lots of things you talked about too. Not everytime, but at times. I do the 6 steps too, and many of these things don't bother me much anymore. Once inawhile I'll see someone I know at the bank or store and when I stop to talk I feel slightly dizzy or trouble listening to what they say. I just float and let them talk, relax an know its ok to just stop what I'm doing even though I'm running late, and enjoy the moment. That has worked so much for me. And I must say some days I don't get too much done, and I'm doing better about saying who cares! So I don't get all the things I wanted to do done that day, let it go. That to is much better for me, than feeling like I have to catch up on my day and stay up later and doing more. SO I have had good progress in that area as well. I just have to keep doing it and going there first in my thinking instead of the old bad habit way!
My computer service was down today,back now, yey! cell phone are not working right either. modern tech. is so nice!!! grrrrr.

T-roy, Good for trying to catch all the negitve thoughts and turning them to positive ones, thats great!!!

[NinjaFrodo]

Well i did feel that the first while when i was doing it. I mean i did do it a bit when i went through the program in the past but I guess it wasn't "good enough" for me and so i stopped. That all or nothing thinking. I expected all and i didn't get it so i just took nothing.

Where is the youtube video. Which Steve are you talking about? StevenFarris? It most likely has alot of the same stuff but with many changes. Info is probabbly the same with diffrent words.

Well from my life experience even when someone dies, they aren't completely gone. My mother proved that one when a psychic came to me during my student clinic. The psychic was communicating with my mother as i was treating her with shiatsu!

I've drove many of my friends nuts with my insecurities and obsessive thoughts, I want to be my own safe person as well.

My symptoms didn't actually go away. The anxiety just lessened thats all. It may go from a level 7 or 8 down to a 6 or 5. I'm guessing it doesn't work like that for you.

Well its good to know that you have done well with the 6steps and that you can still feel slightly dizzy every once in awhile but float with it. This is my weak area and i'm not even going to try to sound like I know it very well because i don't. When we do the program together, you "cannot" let me stop using the 6 steps lol. I don't care if you have to shove freshly cut onions into my face.

I have that problem too when some days i don't get much done either and I still beat myself up about certain things but i think i'm also getting better with it. I tend to overload myself sometimes too especially at the gym. Mondays and Tuesdays i do the hip hop (1 hour) and thats fine but then i try to add my workout routine with that (1.5 hours). Mondays are usually Chest, Abs and Triceps. I do 15 exercises for my abs, 6 exercises for my chest and 1-3 exercises for my triceps.


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

ok i wrote down the card's info onto a couple business cards that i'm not using right now. I'll put them in my wallet and take it out when i need to. I think i may also pull out an inspiring picture right after i look at the cards to help with the distraction part or the positive self-talk. Hey I guess I could use the breathing and then just pull the cards out and read them everytime i get anxiety, that might help too.


Mike

[THH]

I get the all or nothing thinking as well. I am realizing there are shades these days. I have black and white over tones though. Think shades!!!

Yes its a video of SteveFarris. Up top, under health anxiety.

Yes I believe being your own person is really important. Being your own safe person is a must. It will prepare us for all things that life sends our way. If we are confortable with our own thoughts, who we are, feel strong, we can stay in control when things seam to get out of control. Or at least we have some tools to get things into some sort of order.

I have had days with out symptoms, I have had weeks with out symptoms, but I will get a week or a day of overwhelm and I have to break it down into smaller segments and work through it.
Thats good that your feeling lesser with your anxiety! Even lessor or staying the same at a lessor number is good. It takes time, progress is progress!

LOL... Ok i will remind you, we'll toss peices at each other! LOL... I do think this lesson with 6 steps is key. I think once you can feel the concept and actually float and push your self though the wall, as they call it, keep doing what you set out to do, it does get easier. It is the foundation of this program I think?! I would stay on this lesson, till you really think your getting it. ( by that I mean feel it, and go on.) Stay on it as long as it takes, and not become obsessed with shooting for perfect. I had a little trouble moving on when I started as I thought I had to do each thing real good before moving on. It teaches your mind to realize your having anxiety, what ever your doing, realize its just anxiety, it will go away, and do not run. It is very comforting to me. It is like haveing a cold. Realize your symptoms are that of a cold. Figure 10 days, sooner if your lucky.

I would get a cold, and go to what if I can't breath! What if I bah bahhha. I do the same thing with "Its just anxiety" Only now I just say "Its just anxiety"!

It will be good to see how many things you get to cross off your list as you go through this program again. I have some to work on again. You can put what is on your card and I will put what is on mine. We'll see what they changed. I still think you have some really good ones that you posted and "should" LOL....market!