Stress Center Peer Support

Im new here. Things not going so well right now. My wife just informed me she is unhappy and unsure about her"life's path". We are talking but tonight she is staying at a friends house to be by herself. She says my shyness, timidness and social anxiety turns her off. And she doesnt know what she wants right now. IM going to get help because it is a problem for me, not just her. She is talking and willing to go to counceling with me but Im not sure if she will stay in the end. SHe's very out going and is now, after 10 years together, "tired of my anxieties".
Ive struggled all my life and when I finally met her she accepted me but now, after should hasnt been able to "heal me"(her words) she is rethinking it all. Along wiht her confusion about her "life's path". Ive gone to see my doctor and IM back on PRozac and am making an appt to see a therapist. She says she would go if I ask her but I fear she may just confirm for herself that she wants to leave. I dont know that I can be "outgoing" enough for her or what exaclty she wants be to be. We have a house, no kids. I love her.

i hope you are still actively doing the program. I also want to say that I am sorry for what you are going through. Whether your wife stays or leaves you should want to get better for you. Sometimes we don't realize how tiring it can be for our spouses. My husband is more ssupportive when he sees me making an effort to get well. Maybe you need to gain some power over your situation and determine to go through the program and defeat your anxiety. You can do it!

Hello there 'Fixme':
Yes, by all means, actively work this program.
But you might also start doing some things for yourself. Like, for instance, while your wife is spending a little time for herself, you might join a gym and start some regular exercise.
Try to think of some things other than the problem.
What sessions are you on if you have already started the program.
One thing you can do right now is make a little list of some positive things that you like about yourself.
When you get to session 3 you will begin to keep a journal. You will write down some nagative thoughts but then immediately you will counter those thoughts with a postive phrase.
This does work to help you gain some perspective along with some self esteem.

What you are going thru' is very painful I know.
I've been there.
But you will gain some tools here to help yourself. Honestly. Somethings are painful. But you will find the strength to get thru what ever transpires.
Another thing that could help immensly is turning some of these painful circumstances over to your Higher Power , if you have one.
Somethings are just too hard to carry all by yourself. And it is not a weakness to entrust these things to a power greater than yourself.
My higher power is God. And God says in His book that He is strongest in my weakest.
It takes some practive but we can take these things to God, as we understand Him, and get some relief.
That relief gives us a chance to work on our situation which usually means working on our self.
This program teaches us how to help ourselves.

I bougt this program for myself. I had confidence in it so I then bought it for each of my daughters and had it sent to them. That is how much I thought it would help. I still believe that.
Wishing you the best.
MJ

You continue with your program/s- I can relate that it is hard for a caregiver, a loved one with an illness, it drains you, and you don't want to pacifiy the person, you are not sure if you are helping them or not, and you want them to be able to hold up themselves. I took care of my High school age daughter thru her depression, and not knowing what it was, etc. Hold your chin up, and take care of YOU! Find a good support system. I like Celebrate Recovery, you can surf on it and find one near you, or any type of program where you can share and vent. LH