Setback
Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 1:01 am
Hi, I am on week three. Just finished it today actually. But after five days of no full blown panic attacks, I woke up this morning and immediately started feeling the hot/cold surges. Like I didn't even have a chance to start thinking about anything and there it was.
I tried to 2/4 breathe. I tried to use my positive self talk. I got out of bed, let the dog out, fed the cat, etc. etc. Distraction didn't help. The hot/cold surges kept coming. Now it was getting hard to breathe, even though I was trying to maintain the 2/4. My mind started flying and going competely berserk, my legs started shaking, and I couldn't even think clearly enough to continue the positive self talk. I took .25 mg xanax, which I havent' had to do for five days in a row. Then I started to calm down, but still felt a little crazy. Like I despeterately wanted to go to urgent care. It was SO HARD not to jump in my car and drive there.
Well, today happened to be Easter, so I was at my parents' house. All the family and kids and pets commotion was really setting me on edge. I started to feel super emotional and crabby. I tried to distract myself doing the dishes, helping clean up. But I had to pop yet another xanax in the afternoon. Then I went to the guest room and did my relaxation session.
After things quieted down, I was sitting in the livingroom watching a movie with everyone, and BAM, the hot cold flashes and feelings of fear start welling up again. More xanax.
I had been doing so well. I felt like the program was working. I don't understand why my coping tools didn't work this time. It makes me wonder if it really is going to work for me long-term, even on my bad days like today.
I guess the one bright spot in it all is that I DIDN"T go to urgent care after all. But I am feeling discouraged now. I could use some cheering up if anyone has had a similar experience with setbacks. I'm on week 3.
I tried to 2/4 breathe. I tried to use my positive self talk. I got out of bed, let the dog out, fed the cat, etc. etc. Distraction didn't help. The hot/cold surges kept coming. Now it was getting hard to breathe, even though I was trying to maintain the 2/4. My mind started flying and going competely berserk, my legs started shaking, and I couldn't even think clearly enough to continue the positive self talk. I took .25 mg xanax, which I havent' had to do for five days in a row. Then I started to calm down, but still felt a little crazy. Like I despeterately wanted to go to urgent care. It was SO HARD not to jump in my car and drive there.
Well, today happened to be Easter, so I was at my parents' house. All the family and kids and pets commotion was really setting me on edge. I started to feel super emotional and crabby. I tried to distract myself doing the dishes, helping clean up. But I had to pop yet another xanax in the afternoon. Then I went to the guest room and did my relaxation session.
After things quieted down, I was sitting in the livingroom watching a movie with everyone, and BAM, the hot cold flashes and feelings of fear start welling up again. More xanax.
I had been doing so well. I felt like the program was working. I don't understand why my coping tools didn't work this time. It makes me wonder if it really is going to work for me long-term, even on my bad days like today.
I guess the one bright spot in it all is that I DIDN"T go to urgent care after all. But I am feeling discouraged now. I could use some cheering up if anyone has had a similar experience with setbacks. I'm on week 3.