Stress Center Peer Support

I'm relatively new to the program, but I'm finding myself dealing with the road block of session 3 - trying to tackle my Self Talk. It definitely is where I falter in my life. I've been going over this chapter for 2 weeks now, and still find the negative thoughts keep a coming, and I end up getting frustrated with myself in not being forthcoming with a positive counter thought. Should I just carry on to session 4 and maybe come back to session 3 at a later date? should I spend another week going over the material in session 3? You think I'm being a bit obsessive compulsive ? Duh ! If I'm not being obsessive, I'm dealing with procrastination - "you're just gonna HAVE to get thru session 3 one more time til it sinks in". I won't even get into my fear that I'll give up on the whole thing - deep down I want to deal with this thing once and for all. The discussions on the CD's sound as though it's so systematically easy - or am I reading something incorrectly into this?
I realize I've given several things I'm struggling with, but, I could do with some feed back on where do I go from here? Anyone?

Hey there. I'm sorry your having trouble, I am only on the 2ns cd so I cant really give you advice but I know how frustrating it can be to not get a response! I have posted a few things and no one has answered and it sucks bcus we are supposed to be a SUPPORT group! Well I hope you find some one with an answer but if you need a friend then im here!!

Thanks BlueD. It was nice of you to commiserate with my frustration. I'm sure someone, somehow will give a response. I'm still hopeful.
bwell12

So how are you doing? Just checking in on you... Hope everything is going good this week!

We are in the same boat, a lot of times I feel like "Maybe I don't got it, I should probably start over."

It's frustrating because of that I've only gotten as far as CD5 in 2 years. I would love to know the answer to that as well so I can finally get over this.

Hey Everyone,

This is Coach Chris from the coaching team here at Stress. It is great to see you all reaching out and wanting more healing and peace in your lives. Lesson 3 is a tough one especially when we want to feel better yesterday. It's important to remember that the negative thoughts are not going to just go away immediately. You are breaking a bad habit. It takes time and lots of effort. They will gradually fade into the distance as we stop fueling and believing them. When they come in and are annoying and lying to you try and just let them float by. Respond to them by saying: 'this thought is not helpful or true and I choose to let it go.' Or you can just say, 'not true.'

Try also to not get stuck in the black and white/all or nothing thoughts. Change is a process and you have to love yourself through it. I always ask people to write out their top 10 negative thoughts and try and replace each one with the positive truth. Carry the truths with you and read them several times during your day. It's going to be important to stay positive and realistic with all of the changes you are trying to make happen.

If you would like some accountability or further actions steps, just private message me and I will do my best to help.

Coach Chris StressCenter.com

I sorta have the same problem. I listen to the CDs and it just sounds like a lot of talk. People talking of their experiences, but not a lot of examples of what to do in these situations. I have a problem with adjustments, any changes take me over the edge. In December I graduated college and I just last week I started working as a nurse in the local trauma center near my house. So not only am I doing a new job, but I working new and long hours, 3p-3a. I go back tomorrow for my second round of 3-12s. I just work myself up so much up over everything. The last two days my mind as been full of negative thoughts and I though I try it seems nearly impossible to get them to go away. As soon as I get one negative thought gone a new one shows up. This has made me depressed and brought on my suicidal thoughts again. I just want to feel "normal" again, not even sure if I would know what that was like if it hit me at this point though. Right now I'm taking it day by day, it's hard....I struggle, but somehow knowing I am not alone comforts me. Trying to give myself positive motivation to begin my day tomorrow and it makes me tired just thinking about it. Ugh!!!

Hi reserin. this is coach Janine. How are you doing with actually write those negative thoughts down in a small little notebook?
It seems like such a tedious thing to do, and it takes time. But when you actually write out what you are thinking and see it on paper right there in front of you, you will begin to see that the thoughts you are thinking are not true.Take the time to change the thoughts into ones that are true. Think about all of the time you are wasting with your worrying. If you always do what you've always done, then you are going to get what you've always got. One or two weeks of writing down your thoughts is well worth the weeks/months of worrying that may follow by not taking action. Let me know if you need help with this.
Janine

Coach Janine I really like what you said -- if you keep doing what you've always done, you will keep getting what you've always gotten. I've heard something similar to that -- Insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results. That makes so much sense to me. I have always thought of myself as being a very positive person but have found in lesson three that I have more fearful and negative thoughts than I ever imagined. People that know me would be so surprised if they knew how negative my thinking really is. It is such a bad habit that seems so hard to break! Although I bought a little notebook to carry in my purse, I haven't written anything yet. I do journal at night -- it seems easier than stopping in the middle of whatever I am doing to write down the negative thoughts. The other lesson that has been empowering to me is to start thinking of myself as my own safe person and my safe place. Though I am 51 years old, I have always felt like I wan't a real 'grown up'. I don't know if that makes any sense but I have always been fearful and felt like I needed someone else to take care of me. I am very dependant on my husband; he is a safe person to me. I admire how he handles himself. The funny thing is we were both raised with alcoholic parents but he has so much more self assurance and confidence than I do. I really hope I can be like that by the end of this program.

Reserin one thing I heard before that I want to share with you is that when life seems really overwhelming, focus on doing the next right thing. Sometimes the next right thing is getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, washing your face, getting dressed, eating your breakfast, leaving for work, etc. It is amazing how doing the next right thing gets you through the day. When you're focusing on the next right thing it also keeps you in the moment instead of worrying about what if.... Hang in there Reserin! You are getting through this even if it is slowly but surely.