I don't usually post in here, just read a lot of the posts. But I decided to post bc I'm having a hard time. (Even though I did have some small triumphs, which I will be posting in the triumph section after this
)Bla I've been having a difficult time lately. I'm listening to the program and working on implementing the skills, and I know it takes time. And I know it works bc last summer, I was really feeling amazing. But I've just been going through hell lately with the anxiety. I just can't get a hold on it. I'm also seeing a counselor to help me work through issues from almost 4 years ago. When I was 23 yrs old, my mom passed away from cancer. She was 51. I was so traumatized, that I coped with it by stuffing A LOT of my emotions. I didn't even realize that's what I was doing, but I think I did that bc that was the only way I had to cope at the time bc it was so traumatic. Now that I'm tapping into all of these suppressed emotions, everything I had stuffed has been pouring out of me. So I know that has A LOT to do with why I'm having such a difficult time getting ahold of the anxiety. I know that this is going to be a difficult time for me as I process all of this. AND I know that I will come out the other side.
When I'm feeling lost in it and hopeless, I just love listening to the group sessions. Listening to everyone's stories provides such relief and a calming reminder that, yes, there were people as bad and worse than me who recovered. It is possible. I always like to watch the success stories on here or on youtube. Watching the infomercial helps too.
I just wish the people from the program could post!! I know I've seen posts from Carolyn too. I have one of her posts printed out.. The "Growth Spurt Encouragement" post. I guess it's just that you feel like you know the people on the tapes and feeling like you just need that boost of encouragement and reminder that you will get better. I feel like it coming from them would feel so much better bc they are the proof and you feel like you know them.
So Carolyn, or anyone from the tapes - Pat, Ken, Mike, Jan, anyone (or even Lucinda!) if you're out there, I could really use some positive encouragement!!!!!
Thanks for 'listening'
