New Member... Introduction...

"Combatting Stress & Depression" Program participant's may post support questions here
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B_Isb90
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:58 am

New Member... Introduction...

Post by B_Isb90 » Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:37 pm

Hey everyone, let's start this off as a generic introduction shall we? My name is Blake, I'm 21 and from Alabama.

I've dealt with panic attacks since I was at least 7 years old (that's when I remember having the first one), and it's pretty much controlled my life since then. The fear of having another panic attack has kept me on edge and non-social for most of my life... by which I mean, I was in boy scouts and had to quit because of my panic disorder and fear before I even made it to my goal in the organization, it kept me from playing the sports I wanted to as a child, it greatly damaged my social life beccause I would have panic attacks if I went to stay at friends houses over night etc., my grades all the way into highschool suffered from the issues, and I've never been able to focus on my future or what I want to do next in life because I'm always wrapped up in "why is this happening to me, how can I get over it" type thoughts.

After highschool came the work place kinda world... regardless to where I work I'm always nervous when I first start there then as time goes on and I get more comfortable at the place I begin to have panic attacks at work for no apparent reason and always end up losing my job to the problem. My longest record for holding down a job is 1 year at Walgreen's Pharmacy. I worked there for a year and then began to have extreme panic attacks and anxiety when I would work night shift which I was required to do twice a week. I ended up quitting that job. My next longest period of employment was 9 months at an industrial manufacturing plant. I worked there as an industrial electrician and loved my job and was very comfortable working there. I worked long hours and 6-7 days a week. Everything went fine until things around the company started to change, my usual co-worker quit and went to a different company, and my boss lost his job and was replaced by another fella. After all those things happened I began to get uncomfortable around the work place and began to have feelings of anxiety which later turned into panic and resulted in me leaving early because I was so sick and I got fired....

Now that I've been unemployed for 8 months and barely able to pay my bills I just feel that I'm so stressed I'm gonna lose my mind. I'm scared to death to get a new job because I'm certain that It'll be a marathon of panic attacks and I wont be able to handle it. I also have began having irrational thoughts and even worse things happen in which I dream of certain things or places at night and when I encounter them during the day I begin to get freaked out and panic for no apparent reason.

At one point I began using smokeless tobacco to help take my mind off my issues which helped for a while but no longer seems to help and I'm addicted to it now and having a very hard time trying to quit it.

Alcohol also used to have a big part in my "self-therapy" a year or two ago, but it quit helping as well and I've since quit drinking.

I consulted my doctor about my anxiety and panic dissorder and he prescribed me 15mgs of BUSPAR to take once or twice daily as needed. But it hasn't had any positive effects on my disorder, it only makes me grumpy.

I recently got into the "Attacking Anxiety & Depression" program and worked through about the first two sections and lost my motivation to continue on with it.

So here I am, really feeling that there's no where else to turn. I'd love to hear what you all have to say! And if there are any tips that might help me out please feel free to share them!

B_Isb90
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:58 am

Re: New Member... Introduction...

Post by B_Isb90 » Wed Sep 26, 2012 11:22 pm

Just an update on my situation since no one else has chimed in. I seem to be doing a lot better now days. I've got a new job working groundskeeping and burial at a graveyard and the job keeps me busy all day long mon-fri and most saturdays which keeps my mind off of myself and helps me turn my thoughts outwardly to other things. I also have been very active as a volunteer firefighter which helps to keep my mind focused on other things when I'm not at work. It seems that if I keep myself focused on things other than my problems that the problems don't seem to exist. I do still however deal with anxiety but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. I'm still thinking about getting medications for my anxiety just to take the edge off on stressful days.

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