you know how Lucinda talks about blowing the good things you do out of proportion rather than the negative stuff...today has been quite a trial run for me in that area. seems like when i would do something, i would feel like i didn't do it well enough cause i didn't do everything i wanted. for example, if i was assertive with someone, i would think "you didn't push hard enough for what you wanted. you didn't do it" and i would beat down on myself.
you see, being assertive is one of the hard areas for me.
then i would realize what i was doing. i was discouraging myself by not seeing what i did accomplish to say, and then would feel discouraged thinking about where i felt i came up short. this discouragement makes it seem harder to keep trying. so, i would turn my thoughts around and focus on what i did accomplish that i wanted to, and let myself know i was proud and what i did and it was a good job. definitely made me feel better.
but what i am wondering...i would like to keep in touch with someone else who is going through trying to break through walls, like being more assertive, and dealing with working on that as well as working on dealing with the negative thoughts. it is so true that i give myself the help i need and i am proud of what i have done, but i think it would make things better to have someone to talk to that can relate. even someone who has gone through this and can be a source of inspiration and encouragement would be welcome.
thanks
loved to talk to someone who can relate
Re: loved to talk to someone who can relate
Hey mmwillie!
I check this board every day, so if you ever want to PM me on here, I will see it! I too am working on things, especially positive thinking. While I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago, I still have skills that I am working on and need to be reminded.
Great idea!
I check this board every day, so if you ever want to PM me on here, I will see it! I too am working on things, especially positive thinking. While I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago, I still have skills that I am working on and need to be reminded.
Great idea!-
Iwillbebetter
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Re: loved to talk to someone who can relate
I can relate to what you are saying about beating up on yourself. I do that all the time. I never even realized it until the first time I listened to the positive talk session the 1st time. What an eye opener. I would deffinately say there were far more negatives than positives. I had to begin like I think his name was ken, and just stop the thoughts, I couldn't do the whole changing it to a positive. I just stopped them. I am now starting to work on trying to re-word them and turn them around, instead of just stopping them and sending them away. I'm tired of "pretending" to be the happy one, I want to really be that person!! Being assertive is another thing, I don't recall a time that I was ever good at. I would do almost anything to avoid conflict!! Just the thought of someone being the lest bit unhappy with me. Not standing up for myself. Doing things I didn't want to make someone else happy, not being able to say no etc...
I agree we have to be "our main source" but it is always helpful to have support also!! I try to come on here daily
I agree we have to be "our main source" but it is always helpful to have support also!!
I try to come on here daily"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."
Re: loved to talk to someone who can relate
Hi, I have just listened to #3 for the first time. I am changing my definition of "negative thought" from judging the content of the thought to noticing the effect it has IN me. The first positive I can generate is "Hey, I just noticed a negative thought. My attempt to work this program is starting to pay off!"