Loven it

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Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Loven it

Post by Iwillbebetter » Thu Dec 08, 2011 1:02 pm

So I got about 1/2 way in the program about a year ago. So I gained some things. but let a lot slip over the year. I've since fallen back to where I was then and again I just can't be this person anymore. So I am back and working the program to the fullest. I am starting session 3 again today.

Anyway the reason for my post today, is the excitement I just experienced. A joy I almost forgot existed. I have 3 children 11, 4, and 3. And though I do love them with all my heart. I am just living, so to say. So I have never really fully experience the joy of my children. To just be able to sit back and enjoy their precious, imaginations. Their joyous smiles. There loving hugs and kisses. Yesterday, like a beam of light, out of no where it just HIT me like a ton of bricks and I just sat and watched my 2 littles ones play and just enjoyed it. The joy I have from that almost brings tears to my eyes to type this. It was the most amazing experience I have felt, in a long long time if not ever!!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

coach21
Posts: 65
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:01 pm

Re: Loven it

Post by coach21 » Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:56 am

Keep up the great work!! Recognizing and appreciating precious present moments makes the journey all worthwhile.
God has put the resources in place for your recovery; it's up to us to put action behind our faith. Keep you momentum going and stay on the offensive. Alot of times when we make strides we quit doing what we did to re-establish our confidence. Continue to do your cognitive calestenics. It's no the speed but the direction that counts.

Iwillbebetter
Posts: 484
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
Location: Minnesota

Re: Loven it

Post by Iwillbebetter » Sat Dec 10, 2011 2:48 pm

Thanks coach21. Being able to recognize and appreciate life does indeed make the journey worthwile. I will keep that in mind about being on the offensive. I know with this being my 2nd attempt at this, it is VERY easy to fall right back into old patterns. In a way I think it helped me because I did see changes in myself from the 1st time, but I did also see how quickly and easily in no time I was right back where I was before. And in no way is that where I want to be!! Having kids, I don't want to lead them there either!! The determination has finally set in!! I am going to do this!! I will get better!! I know I still have many doubts that come in my head and back and forths. Is this right. Can I get better? But it's getting easier to recognize it and put it out of my mind.
And to remind myself often (I love the way you said it) It's NOT the speed but the DIRECTION that counts!!! :) It's so easy to forget this sometimes and doing so helps to lead us back to those darkened paths....
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."

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