Here I go again
Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2011 11:10 am
I had what was described as panic attacks and anxiety about 5 years ago. After many tests my doctor said sent me to a Psychologist and with lots of work I learned to control it much better. I basically learned to not over react and stay as calm as possible during the attack. Then they went away. A year later my wife of 25 years was killed by a drunk driver. I did not get them at all during this time even though it was a 23 month trial.
I always have been hyper aware, like sounds, actual feelings. I am not a shy person, I play in a band and don't get nervous doing that. I do have the chronic what ifs and flunk the stress score tests so I believe it is in my mind but not 100 percent or I would not be here again. here is what is happening right now
I am trying to sell my house
My brother is going into rehab
I am very lonely
I have not had affection for a very long time
I had to give up my dream job ( musician and recording studio, music teacher) because after my wife died I need more money
I put things off which is something that gradually happen as I used to be an overachiever have done Ironman, Ultra runs ect.
The other day my hands and feet started to itchy, then in the mall I thought I was going to pass out.
I have had every test, catheterization, stress test ( a few years ago) and just had a very good physical four days ago
last night while extremely anxious I took my blood pressure and it was 125/72 my pulse was 77.
I take Zoloft and a .25 Xanax once a day to three times during these periods.
I don't know what to do. I am doing fine and then I get the flush scary feelings.
I always have been hyper aware, like sounds, actual feelings. I am not a shy person, I play in a band and don't get nervous doing that. I do have the chronic what ifs and flunk the stress score tests so I believe it is in my mind but not 100 percent or I would not be here again. here is what is happening right now
I am trying to sell my house
My brother is going into rehab
I am very lonely
I have not had affection for a very long time
I had to give up my dream job ( musician and recording studio, music teacher) because after my wife died I need more money
I put things off which is something that gradually happen as I used to be an overachiever have done Ironman, Ultra runs ect.
The other day my hands and feet started to itchy, then in the mall I thought I was going to pass out.
I have had every test, catheterization, stress test ( a few years ago) and just had a very good physical four days ago
last night while extremely anxious I took my blood pressure and it was 125/72 my pulse was 77.
I take Zoloft and a .25 Xanax once a day to three times during these periods.
I don't know what to do. I am doing fine and then I get the flush scary feelings.