Letting go

"Combatting Stress & Depression" Program participant's may post support questions here
NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Tue Apr 12, 2011 4:59 pm

This thread is designed to be an outlet for people who are going through the building a better life series. This is where one would go to just let out the negative stuff, its like a venting area when things get really intense. It is important to allow ourselves to experience negative emotions, float with them and then let them drift away.

There are a couple of diffrent ways you could do this. You could;
->write it as if it is a journal entry
->write as if you were talking to the other person/persons
->write about how you feel about the situation and keep it just strictly feelings
->write it in a way that helps you figure it out
->use process 22 (Abraham-Hicks youtube video) in order to climb up the emotional ladder
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c544f6Oxjyk process 22 part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHFMC7jfWXU process 22 part 2
->ask yourself questions and figure out answers to an upsetting situation
Or however else you would like to do it.

There will be some times when things are very circular and in that case I'd suggest you try a diffrent thing for the list to try when venting. One thing I've found very helpful is process 22, basically you just do your best to find thoughts that bring you to a slightly more positive feeling place instead of trying to jump from a really negative place to a really positive place. each thought you come up with releases a bit more resistance and allows for a bit more relief. Check out the videos for more information.


Mike

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Tue Apr 12, 2011 5:14 pm

One more thing. This is not a place for advice giving unless asked for. This is more for people to just let things out on their own however if you want advice you are welcome to ask for it.

In order to avoid resentment and more anger towards other users I would suggest that if you do decide to respond to the other person that you do so by asking them questions and empathizing with them instead of trying to help them out. The best help you can give someone is recognition and understanding but i'm sure we have all noticed that when we try to help out other people who are really angry or really hurting they shut down, get defensive and feel unheard or ignored. This is a place of acceptance! That means acceptance that the person is thinking and feeling that way. When we give advice in situations that are really emotionally filled then it may give the message that the other person shouldn't feel the way that they do or that they are doing something wrong. The feelings and thoughts are a journey to work through for that person.


Mike

Nanner823
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:43 pm
Location: (noun) Ones place of existance.
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Re: Letting go

Post by Nanner823 » Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:50 am

I am going to say something that I finally figured out. On my own! Quite happy that I am starting to "figure myself out".

Without a long drawn out thing. I have had anxiety off and on for almost 7 years now. As a child I was abused as well as my siblings. My siblings were old enough to be taken by child services and so they were. I got to stay with my mother, my life was miserable until I finally just picked up and went to Germany for a couple years at 27. The day I was to fly she was telling me things like I am asshole like my dad for leaving, and she wished the plane would crash. Pretty intense stuff. Now I have noticed that every time I am stuck in a situation with a man who has anger issues, the panic attacks come back, then I start to "need" them around as opposed to "wanting" them around. I finally think I know at least the root of it. I feel lost, defeated, unimportant, hurt, and a slew of other feelings that I felt when it was my mother doing it to me. I am finally after my 34 years alive saying enough is enough my feelings DO MATTER, I MATTER! I am not perfect but no one is and I should be loved even with my imperfections, someone can totally love a random person who is clumsy and looks at everything/everyone with love, empathy, compassion, and an open mind. I am working on a painting and drop the brush on the floor, WHO CARES, no one is dying. I have a drink and dump it, really lets not cry over spilled green tea lol. I am taking ME back as of yesterday when this all hit me. I don't deserve to be treated the way I am. No one does, no one deserves to be scolded every day, have hurt feelings, and have their faults pointed out. I am better than that, and if any of you are going through it, YOU are better than that. I am choosing my path, my feelings, and how I want my life to be. I am no longer going to be a mat, and I am no longer surrounding myself with negative people. I choose to find the good, and fight the negative thoughts I have, and any some man has to offer.

Okay so that was my rant :) I hope I did good, as far as feedback thats up to you.
Thanks for reading :) I feel better getting that out!!!

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:30 pm

Great post! And you don't have to worry about doing it good or not good because there is no way you could fail at it. There is no right or wrong way to do it. That being said it was a very inspiring post!

You are very right you deserve better than what you got and I'm happy you are ready to deal with all this garbadge! I really hope you are going to join us in the Building a Better Life project we are doing, you'll be a great addition! You definately do matter! And you matter to me so thats why you should come join us!


Mike

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:34 pm

Process 22 or moving up the emotional ladder

Here is the emotional scale given by Abraham in those 2 videos i posted

22 Fear, Depression, Despair, powerlessness, Grief
21 Guilt, Insecurity, Unworthiness
20 Jealousy
19 Hatred, Rage
18 Revenge
17 Anger
16 Discouragement
15 Blame
14 Worry
13 Doubt
12 Dissapointment
11 Overwhelment
10 Frustration, Irritation, Impatience
9 Pessimism
8 Bordem
7 Contentment
6 Hopefulness
5 Optimism
4 Positive expectation, Positive Belief
3 Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
2 Passion
1 Joy, Knowledge, Empowerment, Love, Freedom, Appreciation

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:01 pm

April 13th
Moving up the emotional ladder

-I'm going to get home and find out I'll need to move again (fear)
-I always have to move after or around 1 year of living at my place (fear)
-I can't find another place to live, I'll end up on the streets (fear)
-I can't move back in with Steve, I'll go insane and feel doomed! (fear)
-I'm going to call Ryan and be old this dreaded fate! (fear)
-I don't have anybody that will help me out and I'll be screwed (fear)
-I can't handle looking for a new place to live. I can't handle talking to all those people (fear)
-I have too much stuff to move, it's impossible to find a place thats big enought ot store it (despar)
-I won't have the money for a new place (powerlessness)
-Ron is going to figure otu that I lied to him about working and will kick me out (fear)
-I can't even take care of myself (worthlessness)
-I'm too anxious to handle the moving process (insecurity)
-I'll get too anxious and say something really stupid (insecurity)
-I've been lying to ron this whole time (guilt)
-Nobody is going to want to have me as a tenant (worthlessness)
-I don't even work or have a job. I'm too lazy (worthlessness)
-Ist so much easier for everybody else to function (jealousy)
-Its not fair that I'm struggling so much. Its so easy for everybody else to live (jealousy)
-These other people haven't gone through the same crap so they have no right to judge me (anger)
-I do the best I can but that simply isn't good enough for other people (anger)
-People can be so inconsiderate and ignorant (anger)
-I'm so vulnerable and there are so many people that are mean that take advantage of that (anger)
-I've tried so hard and nothing seems to matter (discouragement)
-I keep struggling no matter what I do (discouragement)
-Nobody is going to want to be with me, I'm too pathetic (discouragement)
-I have too many problems for anybody to want to be with me (discouragement)
-It doesn't matter what I do I'll just keep falling back into old patterns (discouragement)
-This is my grandfather's fault for messing me up so much (blame)
-My family didn't give me what I needed in order to live life properly (blame)
-These body symptoms are going to get worse (worry)
-Today is going to be very diffuclt to get through (worry)
-I'm not going to want to do anything and then i'll feel like a faliure and hate myself and have a hard time sleeping (worry)
-I messed up my digestive system and now its going to take awhile to clear it out. That means more sleepless nights (worry)
-I deserved so much better from my upbringing, I got ripped off (disappointment)
-I have been coping with life for 15 years instead of living it (disappointment)
-My life has been on hold and I just watch friends drift away and make something of themselves. I want to do that too (disappointment)
-I doubt i'll ever get over this problem (Pessimistic)
-I can't get over this or make any diffrence before I get to do those groups (pessimisitc)
-My life just sucks, I'm really lazy and pathetic (Pessimistic)
-It was just a dream that I'd be kicked out. I've had the same thing while working at Tim Hortons about being fired and I never did get fired (content)
-I'm certainly not the only person suffering the way I am (content)
-I have every right to do what I need to do in order to survive, I did not intentionally put myself into these struggles and debilitation (content)
-I've never gone back to exactly where I was after doing some self-help stuff. I've always kept some part of whatever I've done in me permentantly (content)
-Even though it feels akward and negative my life has gotten alot better in the last 2 months, 6 months and even 1 year ago (hopeful)
-My life can only get better from here on out (optimistic)
-Today is just an off day thats all. I certainly won't feel this negative, tired and anxious everyday or even tomorrow (Optimistic)
-There are still many things I can do to make myself feel better no matter how bad I feel (optmistic)
-I may have many struggles and issues but I have alot of good qualities and personaly traits too (optimistic)
-The more I move up the emotional ladder the easier and more second nature it becomes (Positive expectation)
-This will be a great help to put what I just wrote online. It could help 1000s of people out (Passion)
-Today si a great day in which I get to become more confident in handling being tired and being ok (optimistic)
-Today is also a great growth day when it comes to the scary body symptoms. I get to become more confident with handling the anxiety symptoms (optimistic)
-Today has already been great in that I was able to get myself out of such an intense negative state and into a positive one despite the sleep issues (appreciation)
-This is a great day because i have been given the opportunity to move even closer to who I want to be (appreciation)
-There are still many things I can do and today has shown me that all I really need to do is get myself into a positive state before I start the day or any activity that needs to get done (freedom)
-This emotional ladder process is amazing, I feel so much better even than before I went to sleep and usually when my sleep gets messed up I feel very negative and anxious. This is an amazing shift (Joy)
-This can help out so many people and make the world a little bit better (Love)
-I really enjoy communicating with the group in the building a better life project (love)
-I can't wait to see the videos and exciting things that will be posted in the group forums (eagerness)
-This is such a great time for me in that I'm learning and growing and becoming a better person because of these struggles (knowledge)
-Struggles and difficulties are opportunities to better myself and make my life more enjoyable (knowledge)
-I am glad there are difficulties and challenges in life in order to put me ot the test and help me change and grow (appreciation)
-The more I do this process of moving up the ladder, the more I take back my power and get control over my life (empowerment)
-This doesn't even need to last because I know I'll be able to get back these feelings if I start to feel negative again (freedom)

Ok well I was feeling very very intense doom feelings before I started to do this emotional ladder process and now I feel really wonderful and positive. Its pretty awesome and I've found to be a great start to a day and a way to get myself into a good enough state to do the things I need to get done!


Mike

Paisleegreen
Posts: 1778
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm

Re: Letting go

Post by Paisleegreen » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:44 pm

Thanks for Sharing Nanner. That would be a tough experience to go through. I'm glad you are here. Paislee :)

mcshope
Posts: 259
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 9:02 am

Re: Letting go

Post by mcshope » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:23 pm

Nanner,
You are a strong person. You are a survivor. Sometimes it takes us awhile to recognize our own value.
Keep working on it. You are strong and you deserve the best in life.

Hope

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Sat Apr 16, 2011 4:19 am

This thread deserves videos as well. These will be more towards pain and suffering and the negative stuff. The purpose is to let people know they are not alone in their suffering and to give comfort in those times of great pain. Sometimes it is better to let yourself experience the pain than to push it away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayn1rvnSVC8&NR=1 Everybody Hurts by REM


Mike

NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Re: Letting go

Post by NinjaFrodo » Sat Apr 16, 2011 3:42 pm

April 16th

The guy at the beer store is going to judge me and treat me like crap (worry)

People are going to judge me at karaoke tonight (worry)

They won't let me in at karaoke because my ID is expired (worry)

I won't sing well and will just embarass myself (worry)

They won't sell me alcohol at the LCBO because of expired ID (worry)
I won't have enought time to do what I need to do (worry)
This place is never going to get clean (doubt)
This great feeling isn't going to last forever (dobut)
If I feel too good then I'll get into something, lose the good feeling and not be able to handle what I'm doing (worry)
If I feel too good then I'll have to do things I don't want to do (worry)
If I feel too good then people will expect more than I can give (worry)

Overwhelm
It takes too much to maintain this good feeling
There are too many things I need to do
I want to work but theres too much involved. I would have to fix my resume, apply to many places, Have the interview, have a good sleep schedual, keep my emotions in check, schedual my time and then call in sick when I'm sick

Frustration
I keep running out of money really fast, its annoying
I just want to be like everybody else and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to do it
Why did my friend have to leave such a mess for me to clean?

Content
I had a really good dream it was very enjoyable
It doesn't matter what others think of me, only what I think of me and what I think of them
I can get some money from returning the beer bottles and cans


Abraham said that what we dream of is a reflection of what's to come in our lives and I had a very positive and empowering dream (hopeful)

I am really starting to build momentum with this emotional ladder experience, if I keep up at this rate I'll have an amazing life in no time (opt)

Th long I keep up the good feelings the more the good things will come into my life (Positive expectations)

Happy
Money is really starting to come into my life like I wanted
I really am feeling pretty good today
I can bring myself into this good feeling anytime I want

Eagerness
The more I feel this way the more I bring what I want into my life and the more I feel safe and secure the more I will feel comfortable being who I want to be
I can't wait to see how the law of attraction will manifest the things on my creative workshop list
I can't wait till I can do regular karaoke sessions
Tonight is going to be really amazing

I'm going to make more friends tonight and possibly meet someone to be romantic with (enthusiasm)

Freedom
I don't have to be or act in an enthusiastic and positive way unless I want to or feel like it
Its ok to be negative and less energetic at times. I can just let myself experience that, let it pass and then go back to feeling positive
I don't have to do or be any particular way if I really don't want to be

Appreciation
I am so very happy that I found this process. It has been such an amazing tool for me to break out of negative feelings, create positive ones and build on them
I love the music thats available to me
I am really greatful that there are people who are doing what they really want in life and are enjoying themselves and inspiring others

Joy
This process has given me so much hope and determination
I am going to be like Dustin with his fearlessness in no time

Love
I am much more loving because of this process
I am loving the person I am starting to become and can't wait to see the person I'll be

Before too long I'll be able to do and say whatever I want and I won't have limitations holding me back (empowering)

Knowledge
I don't need to be very intelligent or knowledgeable to do well in life, whatever I need I can get from the universe. I can get the information I need through my intuition
Any answer I need will be available to me as long as I am open to recieve it


Mike

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