Stress Center Peer Support

Hi,

Where can I can get some guidance on dealing with an extremely negative parent. She's 86 and has no else, so, I have to stay in her life, but, I feel my anxiety level rise as soon as my phone rings. She feels everyone in the world is out to get her (I grew up listening to this) and I always feel much more anxious when I spend any time in person or on the phone with her.

I love her, but, my own anxiety is negatively impacting my health, and, I feel very trapped.

Hi Nancy--I understand how hard this is for you. I just came back from a visit with a sister who is older than me and has a lot of problems. She is needy and manipulative, I've had to stop calling her and ignore her calls because I am very tired from listening to her negativity and unrealistic expectations of herself. DH and I made a trip to visit her and see what her living conditions are like as she feared she would be evicted. She truly is in a mess of her own doing that was overwhelming to me and my husband. There was no way we could really help her unless she would allow us to.

So we helped her by fixing a broken pipe that was leaking hot water under her trailer. Definitely a bad deal, bad for her water bill and next the mold that will grow. There was already condensation she wasn't realizing was growing in her bathroom area. Moisture was coming up from under the trailer. Anyway, we did what we could do and then she still makes unwise decisions after we left. So I have let my sibling know that I can't talk to her right now.

I'm sorry that you don't have other family members that can ease your burden. My mother passed away at the age of 86 due to a devastating stroke. So I understand what aging parents can be like. Keep posting and hopefully we can help you out as you deal with your mother's negativity. Paislee