Steveracer THH says it pretty good in her response to your post.
For years and years i would set a time i desired to get to bed and when that time came around I could not get myself to go to bed, i resisted it soooo much and then would beat myself up so badly for not doing it and i would actually ruin my sleep and ruin the next day with thoughts of "I should have gotten to sleep earlier" or "I didn't get to sleep early enough, now i won't be able to handle today" and i would do the same thing that night too. I have just recently noticed (after 6 years of going through the program) that it isn't going to work that way...I have gotten those thoughts at night saying "i should get to bed early or else i won't be able to handle the day" and now i replace that...I say "it is a coping mechanism that is really ingraned in my head and so there will be many nights where i stay up late and thats alright. I might feel more anxious and tired the next day but i can still get through it and I can use the relaxation cd or some other form of relaxation to reduce the anxiousness" and it helps me relax and now instead of getting to bed at 4am i get to bed at 2am. Its progress and thats what i focus on now instead of how i did not fulfill my overall goal. Why not give that a try?
Mike
Doing things you Like to do
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Ninja, I hope you figured out what happened to your computer? Call a gooroo! Mine would not bout up one time and it turned out to be a cracked fan housing. Lucky for me the hobbiest who repaired it had a old one in his part box. But soon as it heated up any it whould just shut down. Hope its up and running for you.
You are getting a chance to try some new skills, by your computer acting up. Stick to you guns, don't run out and buy something if you don't have the money saved up, if you don't have to. Let me know how it goes?!
Oh it is very easy to use my anxiety for a excuse! I've done it for years. But the light bulb has gone off and at least I'm aware of the bad habit, now. I'll let you know how I catch myself using it.
I had a pretty good weekend. My horse broke out in hives, 1/2 hour before I was to meet my family for a 76 birthday! After I talk to the vet, and gave what drugs to help the horse I went to the party. I was up tight about leaving, but I realized there was nothing more I could do, that a couple hours would make a difference. So I went. I was up tight, pluged in my relaxation tape, released my worry, enjoyed the party came home and all was alright. I felt glad that I went, and was releaved when I seen my horse was doing well. Another challange, I learned that I could do it.
You are getting a chance to try some new skills, by your computer acting up. Stick to you guns, don't run out and buy something if you don't have the money saved up, if you don't have to. Let me know how it goes?!
Oh it is very easy to use my anxiety for a excuse! I've done it for years. But the light bulb has gone off and at least I'm aware of the bad habit, now. I'll let you know how I catch myself using it.
I had a pretty good weekend. My horse broke out in hives, 1/2 hour before I was to meet my family for a 76 birthday! After I talk to the vet, and gave what drugs to help the horse I went to the party. I was up tight about leaving, but I realized there was nothing more I could do, that a couple hours would make a difference. So I went. I was up tight, pluged in my relaxation tape, released my worry, enjoyed the party came home and all was alright. I felt glad that I went, and was releaved when I seen my horse was doing well. Another challange, I learned that I could do it.
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OH Mike,
I just had another thought about using the responsibility thing from holding us back. Who says it will, is it a fact? I have learned in this program, that if I am assertive, I don't buy into guilt, don't should on my self, go off with what if thinking ect... there is no real evidence that I am going to get into more responisbility than I want on my plate. So I can learn how to relax on thinking I might not be able to handle what comes next.
Change is a part of life.
I just had another thought about using the responsibility thing from holding us back. Who says it will, is it a fact? I have learned in this program, that if I am assertive, I don't buy into guilt, don't should on my self, go off with what if thinking ect... there is no real evidence that I am going to get into more responisbility than I want on my plate. So I can learn how to relax on thinking I might not be able to handle what comes next.
Change is a part of life.
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Sounds like you are really getting the hang of lesson 12, congratulations on that as well as being able to stop the stress from ruining that party you attended and going along your own business despite how you were worried about your horse. You are doing well grasshopper 
Yes you will have the choice of taking on more responsibility if you want to do so and that is a good realization. Say you did end up taking on more responsibility and you have found it to be too much (hypothetical situation), what would your response be? (I'm not trying to be pessimistic i am just curious as to how far you have come with your thought replacement).
Mike
Yes you will have the choice of taking on more responsibility if you want to do so and that is a good realization. Say you did end up taking on more responsibility and you have found it to be too much (hypothetical situation), what would your response be? (I'm not trying to be pessimistic i am just curious as to how far you have come with your thought replacement).
Mike
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As for my computer, it is just not working and like that one girl said somewhere in the program (the lesson on anger i think or perhaps expectations), if something is broken and we can't afford to fix it then we'll just have to live with it until we can get it replaced. This is my mindset right now and all i have done was look at my options into getting a new one, i have not gone crazy and bought one out of fear or anxiety and I must say i'm feeling alright despite not having a comp.
Mike
Mike
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Grasshopper!!!LOL... 
thats funny, I remember Kung Fu! LOL...
Hummm...another thought. At first FREAK! LOL...If I took on more responsibilty than I wanted, I would have to rethink what I was struggling with. What part was upsetting me, problem solve. Was it over reacting, what if-ing, too high of expatation? If it turn out to be something more than I truely wanted to deal with, I think I would drop it. So if it was a project, I would call the people and say something like now is not a good time for me to work on this. Maybe a later time would be better. I'm over loaded right now, and this needs more time than I have. ( that is hypothetical ) I would be honest with out going into too much detail.
How about you? On thought replacement?
GREAT JOB on handling the crashed computer!!! No matter how it turns out, you are doing wonderful on not doing your possible old thinking. Be proud of yourself!
People lived 1000's of years with out a computer, sometimes I think about our ansesters traveling across country in covered wagons. What a tuff bunch!
thats funny, I remember Kung Fu! LOL...
Hummm...another thought. At first FREAK! LOL...If I took on more responsibilty than I wanted, I would have to rethink what I was struggling with. What part was upsetting me, problem solve. Was it over reacting, what if-ing, too high of expatation? If it turn out to be something more than I truely wanted to deal with, I think I would drop it. So if it was a project, I would call the people and say something like now is not a good time for me to work on this. Maybe a later time would be better. I'm over loaded right now, and this needs more time than I have. ( that is hypothetical ) I would be honest with out going into too much detail.
How about you? On thought replacement?
GREAT JOB on handling the crashed computer!!! No matter how it turns out, you are doing wonderful on not doing your possible old thinking. Be proud of yourself!
People lived 1000's of years with out a computer, sometimes I think about our ansesters traveling across country in covered wagons. What a tuff bunch!
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Definately sounds like you have it down pat.
Well my idea of a hypothetical for me would be if i had taken on a manager position somewhere. I would be what-ifing about things like people calling in sick and me having to find someone to take their shift and what-if i can't and am forced to take the shift myself but cannot because i have someone booked for shiatsu at that time slot. Well I could try it out and remind myself that there are most likely going to be some people intrested in picking up extra shifts and that not everybody would be against me. Its alright to make mistakes even as a manager and if it does not work for my schedual then i would be assertive and let the person know that this does not work for me but thank them for giving me the opportunity to work there. I would not owe them an explanation and I do would not need to defend my answer. I think I would really plan out and make a decision on weather i could take a leadership position like that along with my shiatsu business before-hand though as well as save up money before-hand just incase I had to leave from that job prematurely.
Mike
Well my idea of a hypothetical for me would be if i had taken on a manager position somewhere. I would be what-ifing about things like people calling in sick and me having to find someone to take their shift and what-if i can't and am forced to take the shift myself but cannot because i have someone booked for shiatsu at that time slot. Well I could try it out and remind myself that there are most likely going to be some people intrested in picking up extra shifts and that not everybody would be against me. Its alright to make mistakes even as a manager and if it does not work for my schedual then i would be assertive and let the person know that this does not work for me but thank them for giving me the opportunity to work there. I would not owe them an explanation and I do would not need to defend my answer. I think I would really plan out and make a decision on weather i could take a leadership position like that along with my shiatsu business before-hand though as well as save up money before-hand just incase I had to leave from that job prematurely.
Mike
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Well Mike, I know now and I feel like I am getting it, the trick is to use these skills daily and be mindful what I am doing, thinking ect... I am glad that I do see how all those bad thoughts have been making me feel like I did / do. This is good writing, and reading and seeing how it applies. I am going to look at session 4 for your post. I don't always know where to post stuff, and I don't always have time to read all the new stuff posted. Thanks for the tip!
You have such good insight take a bow!
I think your right knowing you want to have your own shiatsu business, getting another job that won't be too demanding as your first piorty is your business. Get something compatable so you can have your time slot for your own deal and you won't be too drained for your own business.= Success!
You have such good insight take a bow!
I think your right knowing you want to have your own shiatsu business, getting another job that won't be too demanding as your first piorty is your business. Get something compatable so you can have your time slot for your own deal and you won't be too drained for your own business.= Success!
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Another great post by THH. Thank you again. I am just very greatful that life has brought me the things i needed to get such wonderful insights.
Yes, in the past I have overworked myself and put way to much on my plate. When i was doing the shiatsu therapy i was actually working at 2 diffrent clinics (1 i would be there everyday) as well as part time at a restaurant and ya it was way too much. Recovering doesn't mean we make decisions that would make it too hard for us.
Mike
Yes, in the past I have overworked myself and put way to much on my plate. When i was doing the shiatsu therapy i was actually working at 2 diffrent clinics (1 i would be there everyday) as well as part time at a restaurant and ya it was way too much. Recovering doesn't mean we make decisions that would make it too hard for us.
Mike