Doing things you Like to do
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Guest
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Guest
I thought i might bring this thread back up because i realized something today. I'm sure some of you might be able to relate.
I noticed that I spend alot of time with my coping mechanisms, staying on the computer for hours and playing videogames and well today the power shut off unexpectedly and I couldn't go and do that. Instead i went to a park, layed down listen to really calming music and read David, D Burn's book. I felt alot more at ease while in the park as i did being cooped up in my room on the computer.
Mike
I noticed that I spend alot of time with my coping mechanisms, staying on the computer for hours and playing videogames and well today the power shut off unexpectedly and I couldn't go and do that. Instead i went to a park, layed down listen to really calming music and read David, D Burn's book. I felt alot more at ease while in the park as i did being cooped up in my room on the computer.
Mike
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Guest
Its funny that you brought this thread back. I took a break from all this thinking and it was actually good. Instead of being on the computer I did other things. I changed my whole routine around. It was good for me. I decided that for 1 week I was not going to get on line, or live in the past or the future. It was harder than I expected. I had to really work at not entertaining myself with old thoughts,old conversations, or plan how I will handle this person or that problem. I kept to my plan, mowed grass, went to the Lake, took my dogs for a walk, even played ball with them. Its been hot here, I stress over the heat. I am handling that better, by saying things like, its winter for so long, enjoy the warm temps. Sit in the shade with your feet in the "kiddie" pool. Wash your car, do something with water. Relax. Its helped me.
I did session 12 today! I will post something there I guess. But secondary gains????!!!! Gave me a new direction to think about. I have a feeling for me, this will be a big lesson. All have been good, but hummm...Are we really resisting change??? I need to ponder that. Maybe all this anxiety & worry is a distraction?
Mike you did good too, staying calm, doing something out of your normal routine and you got enjoyment from it! Great...
P.S. I like the card for 12, #5. "lETS THINK ABOUT IT - FOREVER!" ---ACTION TODAY
I did session 12 today! I will post something there I guess. But secondary gains????!!!! Gave me a new direction to think about. I have a feeling for me, this will be a big lesson. All have been good, but hummm...Are we really resisting change??? I need to ponder that. Maybe all this anxiety & worry is a distraction?
Mike you did good too, staying calm, doing something out of your normal routine and you got enjoyment from it! Great...
P.S. I like the card for 12, #5. "lETS THINK ABOUT IT - FOREVER!" ---ACTION TODAY
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Guest
I was wondering where you had went. You seem to be the first person to respond to my posts lately.
It feels really good to do the things you really want to do instead of your coping mechanisms doesn't it?
Lesson 12 is potential one of the harder lessons but i guess for me i was one of those lucky ones who got it right away. We do really use anxiety as an accuse for many things. We use it to keep us from doing chores sometimes by telling ourselves oh i'm just too anxious to do that right now or I'm too depressed to do it. It can be a really good excuse to not take risks and in other cases when we have gotten to the point where other people are doing some of the things for us that we cannot do because of the anxiety we might keep that up just so we don't have to put in that effort.
For me, I use the anxiety to resist recovering because I feel that I may not be able to handle all the responsibility that I might get once I have recovered. I used to use it as an excuse not to go up and talk to people that i found attractive or wanted to talk to but not so much anymore.
Thank you it really was a good thing to get something new to my lifestyle. Speaking of which after that event when i got myself sick for nothing, I got myself back into reading the feel good handbook and am back to replacing thoughts on paper again and this time feels diffrent. I'm also more effective in replacing thoughts around my sleep and its good because I'm starting to relax about the whole issue and instead of going to bed at 4am i went to bed at 2am yestaurday and I didn't force it.
Mike
It feels really good to do the things you really want to do instead of your coping mechanisms doesn't it?
Lesson 12 is potential one of the harder lessons but i guess for me i was one of those lucky ones who got it right away. We do really use anxiety as an accuse for many things. We use it to keep us from doing chores sometimes by telling ourselves oh i'm just too anxious to do that right now or I'm too depressed to do it. It can be a really good excuse to not take risks and in other cases when we have gotten to the point where other people are doing some of the things for us that we cannot do because of the anxiety we might keep that up just so we don't have to put in that effort.
For me, I use the anxiety to resist recovering because I feel that I may not be able to handle all the responsibility that I might get once I have recovered. I used to use it as an excuse not to go up and talk to people that i found attractive or wanted to talk to but not so much anymore.
Thank you it really was a good thing to get something new to my lifestyle. Speaking of which after that event when i got myself sick for nothing, I got myself back into reading the feel good handbook and am back to replacing thoughts on paper again and this time feels diffrent. I'm also more effective in replacing thoughts around my sleep and its good because I'm starting to relax about the whole issue and instead of going to bed at 4am i went to bed at 2am yestaurday and I didn't force it.
Mike
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Guest
Good for you on the replacement lesson. That is hard for me as well. I have to remind myself all the time with the negitive thoughts.
I too think for me, I use anxiety to resist many things.a.Attenchion, my husband works all the time. If I'm sick he stops his busy schudule and checks on me.
b.Other people controlling my life. - I have not been asertive.
c. Shoulds. That kind of goes with other people controlling my life.
d.Not knowing how to grow, or move forward, ageing, the whole getting older thing, facing issues that identify myself.
I have not been aware of what I have been doing, it is my distraction, Anxiety.Panic attacks. Scaring myself.
Oh I get that not being able to handle all the responsibility thing as well. And I am much older than you! LOL...
I feel better that I have a plan on some of the things. This program has helped me in many ways to identify things that are making me react the way I do. Now is the process of using all these skills to work though issue by issue. Its hard! But again what choice do we have? We have to stay commited to wanting to get to that peaceful state and keep challanging our selves to change the ways we have done business in the past.
The people in my group have dropped off, I don't see many post from any of them. I hope they are staying with the program. I also hope they are making progress in thier changes. I'm glad that you post, I've always liked reading them.
YES it does feel really good to do things that I want to do instead of the copeing mechanisms! It is so empowering when you set a idea in motion in a positive way and get those positive results.
I too think for me, I use anxiety to resist many things.a.Attenchion, my husband works all the time. If I'm sick he stops his busy schudule and checks on me.
b.Other people controlling my life. - I have not been asertive.
c. Shoulds. That kind of goes with other people controlling my life.
d.Not knowing how to grow, or move forward, ageing, the whole getting older thing, facing issues that identify myself.
I have not been aware of what I have been doing, it is my distraction, Anxiety.Panic attacks. Scaring myself.
Oh I get that not being able to handle all the responsibility thing as well. And I am much older than you! LOL...
I feel better that I have a plan on some of the things. This program has helped me in many ways to identify things that are making me react the way I do. Now is the process of using all these skills to work though issue by issue. Its hard! But again what choice do we have? We have to stay commited to wanting to get to that peaceful state and keep challanging our selves to change the ways we have done business in the past.
The people in my group have dropped off, I don't see many post from any of them. I hope they are staying with the program. I also hope they are making progress in thier changes. I'm glad that you post, I've always liked reading them.
YES it does feel really good to do things that I want to do instead of the copeing mechanisms! It is so empowering when you set a idea in motion in a positive way and get those positive results.
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Sounds like you are getting it THH i mean about lesson 12. Its really very easy to use our anxiety as an excuse to not work through those issues. Soooooo easy.
Its so empowering to also set in motion a positive goal and focus on the positive results as opposed to how you have not fullfilled the goal the way you had expected.
Unfortunately alot of people give up and sometimes it takes a long time before they are ready to really change. This would not be the case for everybody that has vanished from your group but i'm sure there are alot. Sadly enough also sometimes it takes some people hitting rock bottom to reach that state. Carolyn from the tapes had told me that she gave advice to a friend and that friend did not listen and it took her 20 years before she recovered and is now she actually hears the same kind of advice she gave to this woman from her all these years later. People must follow their own path.
Well i'm sure you will continue to enjoy them because i'm not planning to stop anytime soon however, life has thrown me into an intresting situation...My computer crapped out and does not even boot up, my vcr also doesn't work and my tv is too old for my dvd player to hook up to it on its own. My computer is a big part of my coping mechanism and so this will be intresting. In a case like this i would get desparate and would blindly put money towards another laptop if i couldn't afford it or not and i'm not letting this happen. I've replaced my thoughts with this and well we'll see what happens.
Mike
Its so empowering to also set in motion a positive goal and focus on the positive results as opposed to how you have not fullfilled the goal the way you had expected.
Unfortunately alot of people give up and sometimes it takes a long time before they are ready to really change. This would not be the case for everybody that has vanished from your group but i'm sure there are alot. Sadly enough also sometimes it takes some people hitting rock bottom to reach that state. Carolyn from the tapes had told me that she gave advice to a friend and that friend did not listen and it took her 20 years before she recovered and is now she actually hears the same kind of advice she gave to this woman from her all these years later. People must follow their own path.
Well i'm sure you will continue to enjoy them because i'm not planning to stop anytime soon however, life has thrown me into an intresting situation...My computer crapped out and does not even boot up, my vcr also doesn't work and my tv is too old for my dvd player to hook up to it on its own. My computer is a big part of my coping mechanism and so this will be intresting. In a case like this i would get desparate and would blindly put money towards another laptop if i couldn't afford it or not and i'm not letting this happen. I've replaced my thoughts with this and well we'll see what happens.
Mike
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Guest
Steveracer THH says it pretty good in her response to your post.
For years and years i would set a time i desired to get to bed and when that time came around I could not get myself to go to bed, i resisted it soooo much and then would beat myself up so badly for not doing it and i would actually ruin my sleep and ruin the next day with thoughts of "I should have gotten to sleep earlier" or "I didn't get to sleep early enough, now i won't be able to handle today" and i would do the same thing that night too. I have just recently noticed (after 6 years of going through the program) that it isn't going to work that way...I have gotten those thoughts at night saying "i should get to bed early or else i won't be able to handle the day" and now i replace that...I say "it is a coping mechanism that is really ingraned in my head and so there will be many nights where i stay up late and thats alright. I might feel more anxious and tired the next day but i can still get through it and I can use the relaxation cd or some other form of relaxation to reduce the anxiousness" and it helps me relax and now instead of getting to bed at 4am i get to bed at 2am. Its progress and thats what i focus on now instead of how i did not fulfill my overall goal. Why not give that a try?
Mike
For years and years i would set a time i desired to get to bed and when that time came around I could not get myself to go to bed, i resisted it soooo much and then would beat myself up so badly for not doing it and i would actually ruin my sleep and ruin the next day with thoughts of "I should have gotten to sleep earlier" or "I didn't get to sleep early enough, now i won't be able to handle today" and i would do the same thing that night too. I have just recently noticed (after 6 years of going through the program) that it isn't going to work that way...I have gotten those thoughts at night saying "i should get to bed early or else i won't be able to handle the day" and now i replace that...I say "it is a coping mechanism that is really ingraned in my head and so there will be many nights where i stay up late and thats alright. I might feel more anxious and tired the next day but i can still get through it and I can use the relaxation cd or some other form of relaxation to reduce the anxiousness" and it helps me relax and now instead of getting to bed at 4am i get to bed at 2am. Its progress and thats what i focus on now instead of how i did not fulfill my overall goal. Why not give that a try?
Mike