constant confussion

catcrazy · Post by **catcrazy** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:29 am

Where do I start I guess I started this pogram I think according to some date somewhere on 4-1-10 I am completely over whelmed now It is 4-17-10 This is what I have done since I opened the box in the mail probably 3-4 days after receiving 1. Jump start dvd and coaching 1,2,3 oops I guess I did this wrong to begin with I should of only jump started ok then from that pack of dvd I opened 2. Introduction read all and listened to relaxation, i will be there for you Realized i will be there for you was not for me but my husband to support me I cried through the whole dvd because I am all those things Ok so now I know im an emotional, anxious, depressed mess so ok this program was no accident so I need it really bad 3. I tried starting the journey session 1 cried through that whole thing realizing Im a mess Now I have been stuck on session one even now because not sure how this peer support is supposed to work. For these weeks since I started this program I feel worse more negative, emotional, chest hurts often, headache every day, diarea, dont want to get up or keep waking up very tired you know all those things the dvds describe as symtoms of anxiety stress and depression.I have been writing in a note pad of events and feelings since 4-6-10.How am I doing not good I just quit my job why because of all these mixed up feelings emotions can not cope can not learn Thats is a story I might tell later because it seems to be a pattern in my life and causes alot of my problems do I need help YES I DO Ive been to doc. taken meds gotten advice been in the hospitol a feww times now to even a nut house Institution Why because I need help and docs hospitols institutions drugs alcohol are not an answer for me this program as I hope is my last resort even if I have to make it a part of my life. I am scared and confussed and now jobless whitch was a releif but I still have bills to pay and a life to live.I have not payed for this program yet I still am on my 30day trial now not sure how to pay for this just one more worry Was supposed to get a call back from someone but did not to discuss 15 coaching sessions for $69. pluss dollars a session I beleive if I dont send this program back It will cost $500. plus well not sure how to pay for this and was told it could be cheeper if I spend more on counseling what do I do I am not sure if this is going to pan out or is just another gimmick Is this what I am suppossed to do with the peer support.This is like crying on someones shoulder begging for help and complaining which I do so well but is is releiving in a way This is pretty much what Im doing in my what I call journal except know one but me sees it. This is like airing my dirt so the world can see what a wreck Iam is anyone really gonna take the time to read all this and respond It looks from what I have read and seen this is sort of what we are all doing but everone is in a different place hopefully getting well and living life THats what I want to live life and quit this ugly thinking. I think I need structure step by step one at a time till complete Im not sure when and if ready for session 2 because I dont think Ive perfected or completed all I am suppossed to do wiht session 1 can anyone relate the way I feel. I have read some peoples same sort of stories but somehow I feel worse and more helpless. I am mad at myself because I feel like Iam missing something kind of like my job i just quit.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 11:50 am

Have your husband pay for the CD's. It is obvious you need this program. It's worth it if you get better. I have not completed the program, but the portions I have completed are very helpful. Why did you quit your job? One of the things that have helped me the most is to face my fears. I just got a new job and I'm terrified to death, but I'm trying to remain positive and tell myself that I am causing all this anxiety. I am the one who can stop it. I will get through this and so will you if you take the steps to do something about it. You can't quit your job, quit the program, quit trying, etc. If you do this, you will end up being one of those people who lock themselves away from the world - afraid of everything. You said you want to live your life and stop thinking this way - Then do it! Take steps to make yourself better.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:40 pm

Teresa w. thank you for your input just got it tonight. Took me quite a while to figure out where I wrote this. I am learning how to get around in this what is it called community forums.Not sure how it works I just read stuff now and reply If I see fit. I finally figured out how to change my name on here the right way so now Iam just Catlover. You seem like you might want to help me get started on my road to recovery. I hope you see and read this I could use a few friends. I never in my wildest dream thought I would be doing something like getting on a computer writing to people making freinds and getting help. I do hope you will hang with me.I could use a friend alot of friends if anyone else out there can relate. This could be fun and at the same time healing. You did ask why I quit my job. Let me tell you abit of what happened and is still happening. I started work for a furniture store we just bought furniture from. I got the job dropped in my lap thought at first what a great opportunity. What took place and is still taking place as I write Ha Ha is the furniture that was delivered to the house Iam renting was wrong I was at the distribution center inquiring about a job while my husband was receiving the furniture. He called me to tell me what was happening while I was talking to the head honcho of the call center about work all very friendly. I laughed and thought how funny is this well the boss didnt find it funny she got on the band wagon to fix problem we had with our furniture and said would you be interested in working in a call center. I told her I never have done this kind of customer service before and was not computer savvy at all. She hired me anyway. I had not been in TX 2wks and was'nt really looking for work yet seriously. Anyway took the job. It took about three weeks to get proccessed and orientation. During this time We found the ****tail table we purchased damaged unseen at time of delivery Ok we decided it was a bit to cheezy for the price so we upgraded to what was supposed to be better quality furniture they took all that furniture back and we reselected and this furniture is nicer but damaged.Well I finally start work about 3wks or so after the second batch of furniture to get no training or what I would clasify as traning. I do not know how to navigate around a computer to well and I guess my peers and supervisors were not informed so thought I did. My first three days of training were sitting behind someone different in each dept to get over veiw of each dept than on 4th day I was put on a phone and given a script and told alittle bit what I would be doing that lasted 1week before they decided they had to many people for the dept I was hired for. I could write a book On the chain of events but in short without all the details I was moved for times in less than 2months the training I had was not useful in most cases for what I finally was going to do And it was to 3days before i quit not ever shown trained on how to do my job from start to finish I went round and round trying to get questions answered trying to get help and proper training. My husband was the customer on the contract for the furniture and I was harrassed by differnt peers in the company because I was an employee and my husband was now very upset about the furniture the damage the costant delays on parts and told them to come and get the furniture well I got in trouble for my husbands behavior because I am the emplyee and employees are treeted with different set of rules so It was held against me and no one wanted to deal with it including the head honcho who had me in tears with other people as witnesses and told me this escalation should of never happened the head honcho quit the company the day after she put me thru the torment nice Well between the lack of training the harrassment the ordeal with the furniture and to top it off the furniture is still not resolved. Like I said I could write a book on this one topic why I quit my job.So in a nut shell I still have messed up furniture no calls or follow-ups and the contract was never voided on the first batch of furniture the finance company called wanting to know why no payments have been made we never received a bill yet so now the finance company is working with us because the bill went to a wrong address donot know how and we have 2 contracts not one You think my husband should be the one with anxiety no he is just furios but he handles things better than I do So now we need a lawyer because we still dont have all our furniture we purchased and there is two wrong contracts. I quit because this has become a conflict of interest. I would still like to try a call center I think at least once more. I have put 4 or 5 aps in for employment and moved to session 2 even if I do not feel like I perfected session 1 I will call the MWCenter tomorrow to have some ? answered and I think with encouragement and support and maybe some coaching I can get through this thanks for reading respond if youhave some feed back. You might be my new buddy if you want to be.