new need some answers

frank marques · Post by **frank marques** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:10 am

hi i've been living with this anexity and depression for about 11 years ive been married for about 10 and i actually had this program for about 8yrs and i started it many times and never finished i don't know if its pride that i don't need this or maybe i am afraid to move forward so i used alcohol to calm me dowm sometimes my wife has gone threw alot with me and she is tried of trying to help me now is thinking of leaving and i really fell guilty what i've done and understand. but the feelings in me are all over the place just the thought of her leaving has got me so scared and alone my mind can't stop thinking about it i can't eat or sleep the guilt of knowing i could have changed is making me feel sick to my stomach i do love her and it might be to late.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:32 pm

I am very sorry you are in such a difficult position. It is only normal for you to be scared and worried.

I do not know you well enough to say exactly what the problem is but I assume it to be your expectations with yourself. You are beating yourself up for not going through the program and getting better so somewhere along the line you have definately told yourself that you "should" do that. Shoulding causes resistance and that is what keeps us from doing the things that will help us. Also if there is a should for that I would not be surprised if there was some irrational expectations on progress as well. Progress is always an up and down thing, it is never a straight line. We progress slowly in the beginning and then it gets faster and we eventually reach our goal but there are many times we slip and fall back and thats alright it is apart of being human.

My suggestion is to check out lesson 4 again and think about the things i've talked about in this post.

Mike