Question for program veterans

bamaguy17 · Post by **bamaguy17** » Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:54 am

Hey everyone,

I have a certain thought, not sure if it's considered an obsessive negative thought or what. Was curious if any of the parts in the program touched on this thought. I have a common recurring thought that I'm not capable (when it comes to work performance, family, etc.). Like I am just not smart enough to do Anything, and I'm just hanging by my fingertips all the time. Help also as to what this thought would fall under. In week 3 now, and still fighting constantly with this thought. Thanks in advance for anyone's opinion.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:23 am

If you are fighting constantly with this thought then it would be obsessive. The program does touch on this kind of thought in several diffrent areas. Lesson 3 talks about self-talk, Lesson 4 about expectations and then lesson 10 is about obsessive scary thoughts.

I'll give you a little information in advance since you are only on lesson 3. When thoughts like this come up, it usually is not directly that thought which bothers you. There is some kind of pattern and these thoughts come up in order to distract us from dealing with something we don't want to deal with. Sometimes these thoughts are thought of inadequacy, thoughts of anger towards someone, fearful thoughts of doing something bad to someone (even if you don't actually want to do that to them), what-if thoughts, thoughts of doom..etc.

Try to find the pattern behind when those thoughts come up by using the 6 steps. The 6 steps aren't only for anxiety or panic feelings but for any strong emotion. If the 6 steps get too overwhelming just do it this way. Ask yourself what is really bothering you, breath slowly and try to use some realistic self-talk. Sometimes its easier to see it as replacing irrational thoughts with rational ones instead of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

A few of us veterans are actually going through the program right now and I feel you would benefit greatly by reading the posts and seeing how the recovery process works.

The challenge..redoing the program

Keep in mind the participants have all done the program at least once and so we already know what kinds of things to expect and are already working on limitations. Don't feel that you need to pressure yourself to meet our progress. Recovery is an individual process but its good to get some ideas and learn from other's experience.

Mike

bamaguy17 · Post by **bamaguy17** » Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:47 am

Thanks Mike for the advice, awesome! I'll definitely watch the second timer's responses as well. Heck, right now, one time through seems a struggle, and ya'll are going another time around. Props to you!

And as for my obsessive thought, I guess I'll just have to dig and see what's really underneath it.

Thanks again.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:55 am

Your welcome. I'm not sure how many of us are 2nd timers though. I'm assuming this to be my 15th time actually but then again i've been at it for 6 years.

Mike

THH · Post by **THH** » Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:38 pm

bamaguy17,
Keep doing your program. You will get through all the layers this way. I would practice each session as you understand how that may apply towards your life. Then move on do the next session. The program works very well, and it is alot of work. You will feel so much better by putting time into yourself.
Mike says it very well. I can only add that it is very normal to feel anxiety when going though the program. Some sessions seam to produce more than others. But what you learn from that is very life changeing, so don't give up.

Keep reading and posting too. Everyone is very helpful and positive. Its good.
Good Luck to you!

Wonderfulight · Post by **Wonderfulight** » Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:10 pm

I have finished the program and am now patiently practicing what I have learned. I have a obsessive thought..."I am always alone and have to do everything myself, nobody will help me." I have been returning to this thought for years and years because I am a person who doesn't reach out to others for help! So how can anyone know I need help? Whenever I get down, that's where my head goes. Definitely self-defeating. Now I am sharing some of these fears with other people, like a small church group I'm attending. After I share I feel embarrassed, like I'm pitiful! When people share with me, I don't think they are pitiful...so what's the deal? They are not all perfect and able all the time, so why do I expect that of myself? Write that obsessive theme down and write some positive things that you have accomplished...so you're not so incapable after all...become obsessive about changing that thought. I thought I wasn't going to get better with this course, but when discouraged, just take a break and get back on track. After awhile you'll realize changes in your thoughts...patience, patience, patience. I still have awful self-incriminating days, but I know this too will pass, tomorrow is a new day, it never happened before! Somebody in your past has probably made you feel worthless, but nobody is worthless, we all have different things we excel at. Write that down...hey, I'm really good at "whatever", no matter how insignificant it seems, you'll find more things you're good at.
Marilyn