Stress Center Peer Support

I have a sister who I have had a bad relationship with all my life. I am a nice person who respects each and everybody I meet like I want to be respected. But as long as I remeber she has had a terrible temper and now she has a litreally won my parents over. Sometimes I might have a conversation w/ her out of nowhere she has this attitude or gets angry. It absolutely kills me inside and frustrates me b/c I don't deserve to be respected like that. Also when she uses that attitude it makes me feel so stupid and more depressed. I mentioned earlier she has a temper problem and maybe I thought that's what causes this...like a little conversation that is not intended to make her angry, in her mind she blows out of proportion. Or it might be like an advantage for her, I mean imagine going around talking to someone however u want all the time. I ask her why she does that and to stop but won't and this causes more issues. I mean I'm sure everybody has run into people like this before-a teacher, a coach, boss but you don't have to live with these people.

I over analyze this situation a lot through out the day and it really bothers me b/c I don't deserve it and I have to deal w/ it everyday. What do u think and what would you do.

Hi Mike...
I have two siblings and I have had times where I did not speak to my sister for a year and 6 months. For the first time in ten years I am building a great relationship with my sister and she actually called me yesterday and asked me.."her younger sister for advice".
My first peice of advice would be stop focusing on your sister. start focusing on yourself. your mental health and happiness. regardless how your sister is..that is her personality. Its not your problem, and you need to become stronger at not letting people affect you. Yeah thats easy to say but you are a speacial person and yes you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Focus on that and when she acts up ..DO NOT RESPOND. DO not feed into it. Get your power back! Focus on sourrounding yourself with positvity. Things have a way of coming together when your foundation (your soul) is together. good luck
Juls

I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I can relate to your story. One advantage that I have is that I am older, and I think that gives me a perspective that I did not have when I was younger. Everyone in my (birth) family has had problems with each other. I grew up in a family where, even though there were aunts, uncles, and cousins, on both sides of the family, I never knew them because no one was speaking to anyone. I have one brother, and one sister. My brother and I really don't have a relationship at all, and my sister and I are not very close. My mother is still alive, but she disowned me years ago. I have tried to have a better relationship with my brother and sister, but it is not possible. And, at this age, I accept that that is the way that it is, and ,truthfully, I do not want a closer relationship. They have major problems in their lives that they have chosen not to deal with. I have tried to make things better for myself, and I think there is a lot of resentment on their parts. My sister does not treat me very well when we are together, and I really am careful not to expose myself to that unspoken criticism too often. It is hurtful, and even though I know she can't help it, it brings me down. So, just like I don't expose myself to violent movies, or the news (although I watch a little just to know what's going on), I limit my time with anyone, be it a family member or not, who is critical, negative, unsupportive or hostile. I wish things were otherwise, but they are not. I deal with the guilt that I feel, and I pray for them. But, I need to take care of myself. If I am not doing that, then I can't be there for anyone, including myself. I don't know if this is at all helpful, But I wish you peace about this.