Tough to get "downtime!!!"

JRaya · Post by **JRaya** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 11:37 am

Hi everyone, I'm Jen and I'm a recovering agoraphobic (haha, I sound like it's an AA meeting huh?

)

Anyway... Although I am doing REALLY well lately, it is still difficult for me to simply REST. I dread work like a regular human being, but it feels great getting things accomplished. Therefore, when it's the weekend and it's time to just relax, it's difficult for me and it actually CAUSES me to panic more to "just be." It's even tough for me to take a day off, I feel like I constantly have to move around to feel productive.

Does anyone else have this problem of relaxing? I really, REALLY just want to enjoy my weekends and tell myself it's ok to give myself the gift of rest and relaxing. What do YOU tell yourself? I'm open to suggestions and God bless all of you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 11:49 am

hi jRsys. i also have a difficult time relaxing no matter what i am doing whether it working or time off. i know i crave my time off because of a stressfull job but when the time off comes, i am wrestless. i think we should exercise, that would help. the relaxation cd is good a few times a day. i wish u all success in your relaxation cause i know just how u feel.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 1:20 pm

I think a lot depends on how one defines 'relaxing'. For instance, I love working in the yard. And I don't mean just sitting on a stool pulling a few weeds. I mean heavy landscaping. Pulling tons of weeds, cutting down small trees, moving plants, spreading mulch etc. People would often tell me I should relax. What they didn't understand was that WAS my way of relaxing. Yes, it was physically strenuous, but it was mentally relaxing. I could lose myself in what I was doing and things didn't bother me. I wasn't thinking as much. Others just didn't 'get it'. So maybe instead of concentrating on the fact that you're doing something, try and determine how you feel while you're doing it. If your mind is relaxed even though your body is active, then go with it. Our anxiety is in our minds, so anytime we can calm our minds is a good thing to me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 1:26 pm

Thanks, Rhasslariel! The type of relaxing I'm talking about is the simple act of laying on the couch reading a book, or taking a nap, etc. I feel I have to be on-the-go. Are you able to "just be?" You know Lucinda's advice "don't just do something, sit there!" is hard for me to follow. Anyone else like this??

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:24 pm

I know what you mean. I can have a hard time just sitting and watching TV. I love to do that, but I often feel like I'm being lazy. Its guilt. We've been taught somewhere that its wrong to just sit and do nothing. There was a line in a movie I saw recently, it was Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. The title character and his helper were waiting for clocks to chime. The dialog was:

Mr. Magorium:37 seconds.
Molly Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now we wait.
Mr.Magorium: No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

If you look at it this way, we're never really doing 'nothing'. Even when we sleep, we're doing something. So when you're relaxing, that is the something that you're doing. If you're reading, now you're doing two things. Reading and relaxing. See where I'm going with this? The trick is not to feel guilty about it. You are getting something done.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:53 pm

Downtime is terrible for me, and I'm a stay at home mom slowly going crazy.
I spend an awful lot of time with my daughter and the rest of the family.
Weekends, I try to cook a really big meal to take up time and then watch a good movie and read a good book.

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:02 pm

Boy, do I know how you feel! I'm a workaholic, simply because if I stop, I think too much (usually negative--I'm just starting the program), then the day turns rotten. But I think it's all in our focus. If we really try to "focus" on one thing, and like "conquer" it, then that's work, right? I'm going to work on that one myself. Or is that obsessive thinking? I don't think so, because the relaxation tapes tell us to focus on the plants and the smells, and all the small stuff. Maybe that will help. Good luck!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 6:51 am

I actually have more trouble on the other end, motivating myself to do something. Relaxing has become my coping mechanism, IE, just don't think about anything. I have gotten good at avoiding working out my "issues".

So you are busy in your mind and can't relax, I am blank in my brain and can't motivate. I think at the crux of it, it is all the same problem.

My Mom actually deals with racing thoughts and obsessive thinking a lot, similar to what I think you are dealing with. How do you just shut the faucet off? Well, I would ask you to think about what relaxes you? What can get you out of your house and occupy you that is relaxing? Maybe walking, listening to music, go to a movie. One key for recharging and relaxing is knowing what helps you to do this. Some people relax by night clubbing. Me, that activity is too late for me and not my thing, but it is active and gets your mind off work. Are you sure you are not a work-a-holic? Are you obsessing over work, or over something else? Are you doing the relaxation tape 3 times a day - do you find this helps your mind clear?