Feeling lost and hopeless

[Lisa R.]

Anyone have any advice for the irrational fears that plague people like us? We know they are irrational, but yet still feel like I could panic just thinking about them. For example: My nephew left for South Africa today, and I'm such a control freak that I'm ruminating on him being so far away and I have no control to bring him back if I wanted to. It makes me feel trapped, just as if I were on a plane and couldn't get out.
My family doesn't understand, and I'm really scared because the nephew is gone for 3 months. Am I going to go crazy about this? Help!!!

[Guest]

Don't let the fear drive you. Think of all of the positive things that will be him. It might be a chance of a lifetime.

Sometimes we all have irrational fears. There are days when I have them, but I have conditioned myself to no longer take that thought and run with it thus making the fear worse. Stomp it in the ground. Say to yourself, "that was irrational and thus not right". Then think of something positive.

It will work, it just takes time. Great post, keep posting, the community here will help you tremendously. Welcome...

Nick

[Guest]

I'm no Dr., however I know the feelings you are going through. I use a step by step self talk, so to speak. Ask yourself, "Why do I feel this way"? Be specific, relax and try to understand the reason for the lost feeling. What specifically is lost? Are you concerned with your nephew's safety? Are you allowing him to be your "safe place"? Remember what Lucinda has said, "We are our safe place". Your nephew may be having the time of his life, be happy that he is getting to se some of this great big world. When I accepted the fact that I have control over so few things in life, I began to let go of trying to. I still care of course, I just don't try to act as if I am central to everything anymore. Much of my anxiety goes away when I do this. I hope you get better, give yourself a chance.